How Malcharion ended up raising an entire Tenth Company.
Malcharion: I've hated cats since I was a kid.
Vandred: Me too.
Malcharion: Right? I think cats are just too aggressive.
Vandred: And they shed so much!
Malcharion: What if they suddenly scratch you? And most of all, their poop stinks. Anyway, I'm never keeping a cat in my life.
Vandred: Yeah, same here.
Malcharion: (shifting tone) But Talos is different~
Vandred: Huh? Wait...
Malcharion: Talos is the kitten I gave birth to myself on my 18th birthday. How could I not keep him?
Vandred: Uh... yeah...
Malcharion: And a kitten like that obviously doesn't have stinky poop, and he doesn't shed either, right, Talos?
Vandred: Mhm... mhm...
Vandred: So... we're just keeping this one, right?
Malcharion: Yep, just this one. Any more and they'd fight.
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Malcharion: (holding out Xarl) I mean, Talos is so bored at home alone, shouldn't we get him a companion? But I swear, just these two. Only two.
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Malcharion: (holding out Cyrion) Since we already have Talos, we've gotta keep his little lover cat too, right, Vandred?
Vandred: Yeah yeah, just these three. No more.
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Malcharion: (holding out Uzas) But Talos still needs a pet, don't you think? And look at Uzas, his claws are so sharp, he's always fighting—if any bad guys break in, he can protect Talos.
Vandred: Malcharion, swear this is the last one, okay?
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Malcharion: (holding out Ruven) But come on, it's the dead of winter, how can we leave such a tiny cat out there on the streets? How could we not take him in?
Vandred: Malcharion, swear to me...
Malcharion: Yeah yeah, absolute last one. No more after this.
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Malcharion: (holding out Mercutian) But Mercutian just lost his husband, widowed so young—how can we not take him in?
Malcharion: And look, he's so black he's almost red—keeps away evil spirits and guards the house. We definitely have to keep him.
Vandred: ...This really is the last one. We can't keep any more.
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Malcharion: (holding out Decimus) Aww, but our little baby is different~ He's Talos's own kitten, which means he's my precious grandbaby~ How could this grandma not keep him?
Vandred: Only one in the litter. I thought you'd been raising a pig and it just took a shit. Almost dumped it out.
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Malcharion: (holding out Variel) But Variel loves Talos so much—he just sits on the windowsill in the rain calling out to Talos. I went downstairs and he just kept following me. How could I bear to leave him out in the rain?
Vandred: Getting him fixed would've solved it. You didn't really have to adopt him.
