hcs for all the castlevania boys (trevor, issac, hector, alucard, dracula, godbrand, the judge, varney, ratko & st. germain- i think that's all of them lol) caring for s/o reader on their period. can be modern times or past times whichever u prefer. 💖
A/N: I wish more people would be less disgusted and more understanding when it comes to menstruation. There are still so many myths circulating about it, I’m shocked sometimes. One time a guy on Twitter said he thought women got periods because they evolved to eat meat. And I was like…. Excuse you?? Lol. Anyway, on to the HCs!
Sorry, some are short. I wanted to do longer to make it fair but there were like TEN characters mentioned and my max is supposed to be SIX so some are taking a far back seat.
TW: Blood, Period Mention (still w/ GN Reader)
Castlevania Boys Helping S/O GN!Reader with Their Period: 🩸
Trevor:
Is surprisingly resourceful, given the man was a wandering drunk when you first met him.
Not so much in a kind about-it way, he’s very sarcastic and so over the whole thing right after it starts.
But he did have a large family once so he remembers what his sisters and mother went through.
Will cut off strips of his cape for you to use, but expects you to take care of any sort of ‘mess’, he’s pre-occupied cleaning whatever latest monster’s guts off himself anyway
Buys a whiskey but lets YOU drink most of it to help with the cramps (and for him this is the ultimate sign he loves you lol).
Alucard:
Is unexpectedly awkward for someone whose mother was a doctor.
He’s very knowledgeable but unsure of how to broach the subject, sort of giving you instructions on what to do (as if you made it to the age you did without knowing??).
And of course, the castle has everything you could need, and if it doesn’t, he won’t hesitate to travel to get it for you. Although he does insist you stay in while he retrieves it.
If you’ve been together for a while, offers to help clean you up in equal parts removed curiosity and bewitched hunger (although he’s comparatively embarrassed about that later part).
Hector:
Not phased at all. The man’s used to sticking his hands into corpses, why would menstrual blood be an issue?
Isn’t super knowledgeable about it, he’s been alone focusing solely on his needs for so many years, and this was never one of them. But he does try and learn now that he has you.
He sends his most trustworthy night creatures and reanimated pets to go hunting for the herbs and wild medicines you use. On the other hand, Hector orders the more domesticated pets to stay and cuddle/play with you.
On the days you’re curled up in a ball in bed, he offers to read some of the books he’s been writing as he knows you find his voice very soothing.
Isaac:
Fascinated by human psychology and biology from an earlier age, so he’s moderately educated on the subject.
Blood does not scare him, but he does understand the societal stigma around sharing such a natural cycle with him.
Like Hector, he sends out his night creatures to fetch you whatever you need.
Ensure you drink enough tea and water to stay hydrated. Also asks that you eat plenty of red meat to help replace some of the iron you’ve lost.
Is one of the few men that requests you stay as active as you can, limiting rather than stopping your regular activities. Movement and keeping your mind occupied should make the days pass much faster, as Issac is a firm believer that self-discipline is one of the most powerful tools of all.
Godbrand:
Not grossed out, but ends up grossing YOU out with his enthusiasm about the whole thing
Will of course offer to go down there himself and ‘take care of matters like a man’ - his words, not yours.
What? For Godbrand, being with a living, breathing, and most importantly, bleeding human are the perks of your relationship. It’s like having a partner and a constant food source all in one!
Will absolutely curse out if not straight-up attack any other vampire who dares to bitch about your mood swings or irritable behavior. And then once you’re out of earshot, he will proceed to bitch about said mood swings and irritable behavior. What? At least he’s gentlemanly enough not to do it to your face.
Dracula:
The most caring and respectful king fr
He is super understanding and educated on the subject. In fairness, he’s probably curated half of the books on menstruation within his vast libraries.
Has the necessary products on hand- strips of cloth, herbs for cramping and pain, teas, and a medieval-era heating pad of his own invention.
Like Godbrand, offers to pleasure you down there to help relieve some cramps with the help of an orgasm, although he’s much more romantic and poetic when he suggests such a thing to you. And unlike Godbrand, he’s in it solely for your benefit. The idea that he’d get to feed as well is the farthest thing on his mind.
Literally the most perfect and doting husband to ever walk the face of this earth oh my god.
The Judge:
Expects you to handle it yourself lol.
Don’t ask him for advice or aid. If you must seek out assistance, he directs you to another woman or midwife within the town.
Considers it highly inappropriate to discuss such matters, even if you’re together.
0/10, not very helpful, would not recommend.
Saint Germain
Knows a decent amount of what to expect and how to aid you should you request it.
He’s well-educated and very well-traveled, so he’s encountered quite a few different cultural views of menstruation.
Does, however, expect you to take care of the more messy parts of it.
He will offer you back rubs or make tea, but aside from him being aware of your current condition, he doesn’t change the way he treats you much at all.
Sala:
Gets high key disgusting with it
Asks if you can gather all your bloody rags in a big bowl so he can perform some satanic ritual with it. (You’re like… Um, no??? Unless you’re cray-cray too, which, if you’re with him, has a fair chance of ringing true.)
Will tell everyone else in the monastery about it cuz he’s a freak like that.
Keeps reminding you how in your current state, you would be a perfect sacrifice for the Great Lord Dracula… Ya know, because of the blood thing?
Subtly is NOT his strong suit
Varney:
The entity also known as Death knows your cycle better than you do lol.
Keeps a mental calendar in his head, and starts peppering you with more kisses than usual a few days before your bleeding starts.
Just really wants to get on your good side. And wants you to recall in the coming days, how sweet he was to you, so you know, you don’t take all your anger and frustration out on him.
Very little scares him, he is Death after all. But aside from people not dying and Belmont giving him another go, your mood swings on your period scare the hell out of him.
He’s not a patient man, and by day seven, Varney feels rather demoralized after being encumbered by his partner’s common human condition.
Begs Ratko for help. Is promptly told to piss off.
Ratko:
Doesn’t react, except to tell you that you smell so much better this way.
He delivers that line in such a deadpan too, you almost misunderstand what he’s talking about.
Admits that he’d be willing to ‘clean you up’, should you find that arousing.
Regards you the same, but does find himself staying closer to you than normal, for fear the other vampires and night creatures around you will find your scent so enticing and try to take what’s his.
Challenges anyone who looks your way longer than five seconds. Partly as a means to protect his claim over you, but mainly because he rather enjoys the combat practice.
Hey there, if you're still up for receiving asks, what do you think it would be like caught in a poly relationship with Ratko/Varney? Preferably with a human reader (male or gn please).
Maybe with the reader playing a similar role to Saint Germaine, although more willingly? I love the two disasters.
A/N: Lol, I love the two disasters as well; one of the highlights of the last season for me for sure! I think it’d take a VERY special human to catch their attention. For one, Ratko sees humans as pigs, all beneath him. Varney recognizes humans as important simply because they have souls and therefore are afforded influences on realms he is not. For this set of headcanons, let’s assume our Reader is just THAT gd special that both Ratko and Varney admire them enough to not only let them live but ask them to join in their arrangement.
TW: Brief Mentions of Death, and Sex (not always in that order)
Gender Neutral Human Reader in a Poly! Relationship with Both Ratko & Varney
You’re a human of, shall we say, unique talents and persuasions. Perhaps you’re a doctor or mortician, or a mad-scientist combination of the two. Perhaps you, like Saint Germaine, are an alchemist or magician.
Whatever your occupation is, it deals with biology, sciences, mathematics, and most importantly, death.
That’s of course how you met your two current partners, through the more morbid facets of your line of work.
Ratko and Varney were quite the amusing pair to you from the get-go. As complete and utter opposites in personality and outlook, they butted heads more often than not, but that’s one of the reasons the three of you worked out so well! You were always the neutral party coming in with the tiebreaker.
For whatever reason, you agree with Varney that Dracula must be brought back to life. However, unlike Varney, you don’t see why he must be brought back as a Rebis, fused with his dead wife. You understand this other associate in their plan, one Saint Germaine, is rather knowledgeable himself when it comes to alchemy, but there are several ways to go about raising the dead; surely any one of them is much less complicated than a plan such as this.
Your back-and-forth arguments act as entertainment for Ratko, who just sits back and watches as his two lovers squabble in a language that might as well be in a foreign language to him. Rebis this, necromancy that. “The two of you squawk like chicken whose head has been cut off.” Ratko frequently says to the two of you.
That of course always gets a rise out of both you and Varney: “How can a chicken squawk if it’s already dead?” Varney asks, falling for the bait every time. “You would need necromancy to reanimate said chicken!” You exclaim, equally none-the-wiser.
This undead vs dead squawking chicken debate goes on in circles for a while until one of you, usually Varney, starts listing off your credentials. “Don’t you know who I am? I’m VANREY!” Which is hilarious, given there’s not a single soul amongst the three of you who doesn’t know the entire backstory of the other nor is there one of you who hasn’t seen the other two naked. Speaking of naked….
You were probably the first to initiate sex, not because Ratko or Varney weren’t attracted to you, or interested in sleeping with you. But because the two morons didn’t even realize that was an option! Well, I mean sure, they had each envisioned what it’d be like to sleep with you, but their imagination made it all seem theoretical.
So one early morning you decide to take matters into your own hands. You strip down to nothing and wait for them to come back home before the sun fully rises. You lay there, splayed out on the bed, bare as a newborn babe, casually reading a book akin to the Kamasutra, complete with very detailed illustrations, of course!
Varney is the first to notice. He sort of freezes before smirking. Ratko sees you second, his usual indifferent demeanor giving way to shock before an expression of reverence crosses his face. “Well, fellas?” You roll over, toss the book aside, and sit with your legs spread far apart, giving them a good show of everything you have to offer before pointing to a particular illustration on the left side of the book. “I’ve always wanted to try this one.”
It’s not a surprise their bickering crosses over into sex. They argue over who gets to do what first, so more often than not, you have to pick one of them to shove back down and get started, much to the chagrin of the one left standing. (Don’t worry about them too much though, they always join in themselves soon enough lol.)
You work well together, even if there’s a total of like, seven brain cells between the three of you, and you have five of them on any given day.
Varney in a Batman costume: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW IM BOARD
Y/N: SO YOUR THOUGHT DITCHING ME AND IVAN FOR OUR ACTUAL PLAN TO KILL EVERYONE IN THIS FUCKING TOWN TO PLAY DRESS UP WAS WORTH IT???!!
*already has their claws to his throat pressed up against a wall*
Varney: YEs
Ivan: I wish I could say I’m shocked but from you…no
*Picks Y/N up and tosses them over his shoulder *
Ivan: alright little dove let’s get some sleep
Y/N: IF YOU DONT LET ME DOWN I SWEAR TO THE GODS-
Ivan: *puts Y/N down hold them tightly to his chest by their waist and lifts their chin to look at him*
Do you want me to punish you and varney or do you still want to enjoy each other’s rage and passion while I make him watch while tied up on our st Andrew cross
Y/N: YES please Ivan I need this don’t take it away from me
Ivan: then little dove behave your self and go to our room strip into only your undergarments and stockings I bought you and wait I’m going to get varney and make him remember who is in change of this mission
Y/N: oh gods please ivan don’t kill him that’s my job
Ivan: wouldn’t dream of it little dove now go I’m getting more and more impatient
