#ve blabs

[verit]

might as well write my fanvid making thoughts so i dont forget... purely for my own sake

i really forgot how much just incidentally placing a clip here or there "for now" can just randomly result in smth good. or like even just. the original video. honestly had fun just watching the whole first scene with jcr play out over the song. 10/10, could've just ended it there

i HATE being literal with lyrics (humor/crack fanvids not included obvs) so its really annoying me that i have two guys THROWING SOMETHING at the word THROW now 😭😭😭 but it fits esp stanley with the fire fuck 😭

im constantly torn between letting a scene play out longer and finding more fitting moments to put on top of it... in the end i think ill be adding more and more but for now i really do like having a long scene over like. a whole phrase.

im also like, i wanna use more of the earlier episodes esp because i rewatched them like THREE TIMES THESE TWO MONTHS (dont ask) (i wanna show da terror to everyone) but i havent reached the later eps and havent rewatched the last two at all. even tho i KNOW thematically with all the "who's gonna be with you at the very end" (...) of the lyrics of it all, lol, well. i will Need those last episodes perhaps the most

i really love, like... both thinking of interesting/unexpected meanings/parallels of the lyrics AND finding scenes that just fit vibes-wise and emotion-wise... i do like it... fanvidding is a fun art and im kinda. tentatively excited to be doing it again!!

for me literally nothing makes me FEEL as much for a (visual) canon as a good fanvideo so i just wanna make something i can rewatch and have feelings about lololol

[verit]

everythng about tumblr fandom is pretty great in my book. and then i see the songs people apply for the character fanmixes/edits and its so. sad. first of all they dont have необратимый процесс from nemnogo nervno. second of all. did you know theres stuff besides the most popular (i assume) music, please

[verit]

just looked at my blog and uh despite putting stuff in da queue im not doing a very good job of pretending i care about anything other than terror/polar stuff now huh (so i won't) been watching and rewatching stuff from past terror camps (and showing elli) and it's just. soooo good. prompting so many thoughts. on my fourth & fifth (wth diff people lol) rewatches rn and i cant believe theres still EASILY things i've missed (just literally right there in the show), but besides that there's so much stuff to analyse. like how the scenes following each other (obviously) shed light and color each other differently [in this particular instance the two scenes of tender killing with cannibalistic undertones, but also others]. also how since i learned abt the raft of the medusa (from the presentation about that line) i keep coming across it EVERYWHERE. its so good

[verit]

thinking how i was rly rly lucky in getting into HS at the right time (for me) (shortly after it ended so actually even the lowkey unsatisfactory things about the ending that many ppl have pointed out were Fine for me bc i didnt have that many expectations and didnt spend years thinking of better ideas etc), plus im not super good at ongoing stuff so i just took the story as it was and liked it as it was, engaged in the fandom but without it being rly batshit crazy — AND then!! getting out before all the epilogues & shit went down, so by the time it happened i was safely out and could mostly just ignore it. i was surprised that i even had any knowledge of whatever happened there bc i mostly scrabbed like. EVERYTHING out of my mind. and now it's years later, and sure there's hs2 and whatever and there's like a tiny part of me thats curious (and i also know that some cool artists Are working on it), but i deeefinitely don't want it to taint my enjoyment of the original comic (which i do love! still!), which is honestly. complete and works the way it is. and im used to trusting my gut and my gut says No hjhjkskhjf

and i see now sooo many people who've been burned at different points (by some turns the canon took even before it ended, or by fandom, or by epilogues, or the creator drama, or whatever) and honestly count myself Really lucky that i can still just chill and reread canon AND some fandom stuff (although a lot of that is kinda minesweeper stuff tbh so i just stay in like One person's tumblr and some very specific ao3 tags. lol)

[verit]

cherry magic thai thoughts

i was really mostly enjoying thai cherry magic until the last two episodes. well, the previous one was very... one-episode-conflict, in a bad way; it didn't show any growth or evolution for the characters (like maybe achi standing up for karan? except of course he's done that years ago, that was the whole moment!!, only a very uncomfortable scene for karan and a last minute rescue from the boss who made them do it.

anyway. and then this episode, which was... better than the last but i remain strangely unsatisfied despite some very cute lovely moments. it would perhaps be okay if it skipped over mind-reading as a non-issue — certainly a surprise, but okay if executed well. (maybe if we had achi worrying over it again and again only to find out it's a non-issue for karan and immediately resolve it. maybe if it led to something more... interesting, i guess.)

and there's something to be said about resolving issues instead of letting them build up, but... this is like. the *core thing*. THE cherry magic thing!! you don't have to make it an issue, but it would be fun to play with it. like oh, karan now uses the mind-reading to send cute thoughts over to achi, BUT his real worries slip through (like the thing where he tries to be Perfect?). or him wishing for more and THEN realising that fuck, achi can see/hear everything and being ashamed. i guess just more emotional stakes? yeah. (as usual, the mindreading is used as a tool when convenient and not played with enough, but that's a given from the original, tbh.)

what kind of hit me even more is that achi just. moved in with karan and we skipped right over to the cute established relationship fluff. LIKE. i guess i just needed more time — especially since we have more time, in thai BLs, — to establish something about them moving in together. i guess what i'm missing is some... details, some more complicated feelings, something to give it... more soul.

now that i'm writing this, i can concede that there was some play with the mindreading, and even some conflict (that also got resolved the same episode), and i guess i just need... more. for some reason, it just doesn't feel earned, even though we've had so many episodes building up to it. it feels like they're not exactly on the same page, but i'm the only one feeling it and the show keeps telling me it's fine,,

(i guess another problem is that i rewatched the original cherry magic just the other week, so now it REALLY hits when the thai version meanders... i didn't actually remember how good the jp version was, how it was so much more than just a cute soft fluffy BL, also can't get over how sterilised everything looks. even when they're sitting down for a talk on a perfectly positioned bench in a very sterile looking outside office space with their hands on their knees i just DJGHShjsdhjkdskhj)

[verit]

im so hshkdjsjdsjds its been.... so long since i just dived into a new shiny thing and now it’s TWO THINGS AT ONCE KINDA (bc we watched ofmd in one day and then finished wwdits s3 finally) that im flipping between with a speed of light and its just sjhHDSKHSDKDS really been a while since i’ve been in active fandoms like this AND rapidly growing ones, and especially ones where i can just... enjoy the content and not have to create

and obviously it’s very much escapism bc uhhh [country being a fascist state and all the things im trying to do which are not a lot but still taking all my energy] so its very nice that good things are just... happening and i can just BASK in them and that they have SUCH an effect on me, i dont need to put in an effort im just effortlessly engaged!!! bc my current ~main fandom~ is not really.... producing much good stuff, esp fan stuff, and i would write myself buuuuut all my energy is going towards uhhhhh [all the real life things im doing or trying to do] and after a day i just want to lie in bed and read fic and meta and scroll through beautiful art and thats what ill DO

[verit]

i am truly reaching the classic "it's 5 am and suddenly world is beautiful bc im listening to a Good Song" moment but i dont care, not even about disrupting my non-existent sleep schedule, bc it's been so long since I've felt like this! wow!

[verit]

today tumblr decided that only alex is allowed to exist on my dash and i approve