Cisgender/cishetero is the same thing right? I dont really know all of these different genders but ot means that cisgender person is just straight? Why are these people hated so much?
Ah, no, I’m sorry. You definitely have not been given accurate definitions of these terms.
So, here’s short, short definitions. They won’t be useful for complex discussions, but they’ll give you a solid sense of what’s being said!
Cisgender, adjective, meaning “not transgender” or “identifying only as the gender assigned at birth.” Example: When a baby is born, the doctor/deliverer looks at its baby crotch and says “it’s a girl!” If this baby grows up to identify as a woman, and only as a woman, then she is cisgender.
Let’s say that our example of a cis woman, however, is also a lesbian. She is still cisgender, but she is not straight. Cis refers to who you are, and het refers to who you are attracted to.
Cishet (or, cishetero): a compound term derived from CISgender and HETerosexual, referring to someone who is both cis and het (specifically someone who is perioriented heterosexual/heterosexual+heteroromantic). The term is generally (but incorrectly) used to refer to anyone who is not queer. If you’re trying to discuss all non-queer people at once, I personally recommend “pericishet” but this is a less common term.
Not Queer: Someone who is cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic, and perisex. *****This is not an agreed upon definition at all.***** This is how I use this phrase on this blog (and my other blogs). I realize that there are arguments every which way about whether aro/ace-spec and intersex people “get to use” queer as a term. If you bring this fight to me, I will block you because I’m done with it. Just so done. (You can ask questions, but don’t make accusations because I’m not going to listen).
A note about “queer:” I use this as an umbrella term because LGBTQIA+ is a fucking mess and I’m tired of that fight too. It’s still a slur, albeit one that has lost a lot of it’s oomph due to reclamation. It should only be used as an umbrella term (queer rights) or as an adjective (a queer person), and not as a noun unless you are self identifying (I’m a queer: Yes. You’re a queer: no). If you’re not queer (see definition above) probably stick to LGBTQIA+ anyway.
I know this is a lot of probably very confusing information to take in. This is a very complex social group with a thousand warring forms of politics at any given moment. it’s a confusing and difficult topic! Hopefully the definitions I gave you will help out a bit though.
As far as why we “hate” cishets, what you are perceiving as hatred is actually just anger. Imagine you get punched in the face twice a day every day by someone who laughs at you a lot. They never apologize, and they are never held accountable. Eventually, you’re going to be angry at this person. And the longer the abuse continues, but more vicious that anger is going to feel, until it is not outwardly discernible from hate.
In fact, it may even be hatred. But it’s not the same cold, careless, apathetic dehumanization that led to you being punched in the face with no remorse. It’s a very different kind of hatred, basically.
Anyway, I hope this helps you understand what we’re all on about. If not, feel free to ask again and I’ll try to phrase it differently.
#Q Word