[Murder friends polycule meets the family...]
Mary Brock: Wait... all of you are dating my baby brother?
Felicia: Yep!
Mary [awkward]: I see.. So... uh, how did you... all of you meet?
Cletus: In prison. :)
Frances: He crashed our wedding.
Felicia: When Cletus dragged his corpse in.
Venom: He has delicious organs!
Mary: What the fuck?
Eddie: I swear it's not as bad as it sounds. I was in prison interviewing Cletus for the paper, I wasn't arrested.
Mary: I found that less concerning... Organs? Corpse?
Eddie: ...I got better.
Carnage: For what it's worth, I'm not dating him because humans get weird about that. Mine are Cletus and Frances. I just like to watch... And sometimes help.
Mary: ...Excuse me but what even are these things?
Carnage: Hmmm, rude!
Eddie: Let me try. This [referring to Venom] is my husband. And these are our friends.
Felicia: Friends... with benefits.
Cletus: Yes, there are many benefits to being our friends! :)))
Eddie: Yes they're our friends who help us kill Eldritch horrors. And definitely do not try to kill us.
Venom: Nailed it!
Frances: That is one of the benefits. As is sex.
Eddie [groaning]: Come on...
Frances: You're not embarrassed of us are you, Eddie?
Eddie: No. Of course not but she's not gonna understand...
Frances: Let me try. Cletus is my husband, Carnage is our partner. Eddie and Venom are married and are our special friends, and Felicia is my special friend and brain buddy from when we were kidnapped by the government together!
Mary: Half the time I can't tell if you are joking or not... Do I even want to know what the red one was talking about humans getting weird?
Venom: Well, because Carnage is our daughter--
Mary: What?!
Venom: Spawned asexually from me of course but if you wanna get technical in bonding Eddie and I do share DNA. As does Carnage with her host. So she has some human in her, just as I do.
Felicia: In you, huh?
Cletus: Literally and figuratively!
Frances: Hey Carnage, does that mean Mary is your auntie?
Mary: [*looking between the red monster and her brother in shock and horror*]
Carnage: See? They're getting weird about it. We spawn asexually. We don't have your taboos. On the comet we wouldn't even be considered related...
Mary: This isn't a comet.
Carnage: ...If we didn't want to. We choose our families. Decide what Hive we want to belong to. I want to. We are family, despite the initial abandonment and... unpleasantness.
Venom: You know most of the time we don't even know when we spawn to avoid eating each other.
Carnage: ...I see. In any case I truly do not mind when our hosts screw. In fact, I encourage it. It's a free meal. It makes our human hosts release those chemicals that depressed gray matter of yours is so loathe to produce.
Venom: And it's not like our hosts are related. Cletus became the host for our offspring when he took in our genetic material...
Cletus: ...Okay now you're making it sound like you knocked me up.
Venom: Because we did.
Mary: ...
Cletus: ...
Eddie: ...technically that was before we were screwing.
Cletus: Yeah, that was just a little light cannibalism.
Mary: Please tell me you're joking? You're not joking, are you?
Eddie: ...Sorry.
Mary: Just... I need a moment here.
Eddie: So like... we heard you're getting married and wanted me to be here and bring my "special someone" so how exactly does this--
Mary [facepalming]: It was supposed to be a +1.
