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My mental state as of late

#vern (actually) screams into the void #I have ✨many problems✨#but oh Miles total drama you will never wrong me #vent post i guess #vent post tw

keep hearing ppl on here saying shit (or talking abt what ppl said/say) like ‘csa is such a uncomfy topic!!’ or ‘ i don’t really feel comfortable with that stuff…’ or ‘kids shouldn’t know this adult stuff!’

guys, i’m a minor, a chunk of my ttnm iteration is literally about my experiences with sexual harassment, be it I don’t rlly show it via art, i do talk abt it, dude i made a whole fic abt it!! I even made a sequel to the fic!!

and yeah if it does make u uncomfy, i always tag trigger warnings, so you can block those tags or just ignore the post, but don’t say i have to stop talking abt something that is so common and ignored and misinterpreted in the present day. sure my experiences can’t sum up everyone’s experiences but that’s the thing! they’re my experiences!

thank fuck that ppl don’t say shit like ‘you should take this down’ on my vent posts abt this shit bc i would honestly block them and then have to think abt how fucked up it is that as soon as I actually try to really dive deep in myself and be vulnerable and show the world my experience and emotions and thought and my memories and raw feelings i would get shut down because it made them ‘uncomfy’.

#sorry that was a lot #except i’m not sorry #shroom talks #vent post #vent tw #tw vent #tw vent post #vent post tw #<— i guess #mini rant #rant post #tw rant #personal rant #idk might delete later

From my deactivated Ch1l1l1zardL3g3ndz DeviantArt account + New Content For FurAffinity (ChililizardsFatties)

Chililizard (c) @chililizardsplayhouse

To be honest your daughter has seen her parents go thru the outmost of shit and now her wondering why she avoids everything out of anxiety plus she is a person suffering from FROM UNDIAGNOSED depression, ocd and adhd and ur wondering why she hasn’t harnessed her 20 something power ITS BECAUSE I HAVE OBSTICLES IN MY WAY MARY!!! IF I COULD BE LIKE THE DOMINANT NARRATIVE AND JUST BE STUPID AND HAPPY IN MY 20s I FUCKING WOULD!!!!

#yelling tw #caps tw #caps ::#caps //#vent post tw #mental illness mention tw #Jesus Christ maybe u should be supporting ur daughter instead of judging her #or not saying anything at all #maybe u should just keep ur mouth closed #man #uugghhhhhhh #I’m not wasting my life I’m fuxkinf scared this is a difference and u should be more kind about it #idk what else to tag ffs

Asking for advice

So, ever since i turned 18, the government has been forcing me to 'prove im still disabled so i can continue getting disability benefits' no joke, they are actually saying that. and uh, i appealed twice, lost both times, the most recent one being last year and ending in late december.

they're trying to say im not disabled anymore. no joke. also, in the last trial, they said im not disabled because i can make pb&j sandwiches, dress for court, and feed my cats. i mean, im still autistic, and am part of the (up to) 85% unemployed, and i cant get a retail job for reasons i wont disclose in this vent as they could be triggering. but yeah, im totally not disabled anymore, because i know how to make basic meals.

they also tried to say i was lying about everything i said in court because 'i was fine on my medical file' which i partially blame on myself, as i havent been the most honest with my psychiatrist this year about how awful i was feeling.

they also just straight up got something wrong, whether just straight up lying, or genuine ignorance, saying my iep got denied by the school, when it was me and my mom who willingly ended the iep in the middle of sophomore year.

i dont really know what to do. im still getting the benefits for a few months, but in a few months its over, i wont have the disability income, i wont have medicaid, so i'll likely lose my psychiatrist and my meds, which genuinely keep me sane and stable, as we wont be able to afford them without medicaid.

is there anything i can do? i know appealing again won't help as they're just going to look at my medical record again and say im not disabled.