#venting frustration

[pocketfullofpeeps]

FUCK!!

i want to do voice training but every time i try to start i have to face The Horrors of listening to my voice recorded while thinking critically about it and it all-but-physically hurts to realize how i sound

[lilmissrandom4607]

Vent piece-

Wish it could do more but ik it won’t- I need to go to a whole rage room to probably get this sorted out- physically anyway-

I’ll be fine btw💜 just irl bullsht

[chaotictempleknight]

I was willing to give Reddit another chance as r/worldbuilding seemed fun, but I see now that was a massive mistake. Reddit hasn't changed since I lasted used in 2019. You will still get downvoted to hell and back if you disagree with someone or are not popular enough.

I was giving advice to someone on how to name a variant of telekinesis and I gave examples of unique magic from my own work (Elektromancy and Toximancy) and someone responded with the equivalent of "um, ackshually, you did not invent those words. Those are ancient Greek, there is nothing original about them." Yeah, I get that. I naturally told this person yeah, of course they are not fully "original" and that I did not invent the root words. I looked into the origins of the word "Pyromancy" and came up with something that sounded cool and reasonable.

Seriosuly, it wasn't even a valid criticism...

Guess what happened? Downvotes. Oh I know, god forbid I didn't get on my knees and beg for forgiveness from a person who didn't even the courtesy to respond to me. Seriously, how are you supposed to have a coherent and mature discussion when people are downvoting you all because you disagreed or had a different perspective? What did downvoting me succed in doing other than making me dig my heels into the ground? Cutting out someone's tongue doesn't mean you've won, it just means you are afraid of what the have to say.

Yeah, I get it: "Elektromancy" and "Toximancy" are not truly original because they are based on greek words. But hey, they're original enough for ULTRAMagic Alternate and that's what counts. I deleted the comments and said screw it. I am not going back. That was Reddit's second chance with me and it blew it.

Reddit is a dumb concept on the grounds of having dislikes attached to posts and comments. If you're not apart of the in-group, you're getting donwvoted. Ew, you're weird, GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT! I don't ever want to hear redditors complaining about gatekeeping, because gee, what are downvotes again?

I don't care if they go to my profile and downvote my posts. I am not coming back, even if Reddit removes the downvoted option. I don't feel like arguing with people who are mentally wired to downvote people that don't agree with them, you feel me? And here's the thing: You can criticize me and my work. Go ahead, I fully welcome it. Just know that I reserve the right to disagree and I don't take kindly to having my posts hidden and being kicked out of subreddits because "my karma isn't high enough." Yes, some subreddits won't let you post if your Karma isn't high enough...

And I'm not alone in this, people agree that the downvotes are stupid and don't actually foster discussion. Want proof of that? Look at what I am doing right now. I would not be here ranting if the downvotes didn't exist. There's rumors Reddit eventually wants to go public (if it hasn't already) and I can't wait to see the shitstorm that ensues.

[chaotictempleknight]

- - Spoilers for Warframe for 1999, probably... I have no idea - -

Where in the blue blazes did the dating sim aspect of the 1999 update come from?

Random player: Hey, Chaotic! Who are you romancing?

Me: Pardon?

Random Player: The KIM Messenger, who are you romancing?

Me: You have to romance the hex?

Random Player: I mean, you really should. It's fun!

Me: Why though? Why would I start a relationship with a group strife stricken soldiers who are trying to fight back against an oppressive government when I'm an anomaly from a future in which we're fighting a bunch of psychotic, blood-thirsty, mutant humans who think they're the next Roman empire when in reality they are all of the worst aspects of Rome that have set the destruction of reality into motion? I think I have bigger things to worry about then going on a date with one of The Hex.

Random Player: But it's fun!

Me: None of the Hex are the one for me, nor do I want to date any of them. It's nothing against them, I just find the idea incredibly awkward given everything we've all gone through. Plus do you not understand the amount of Grineer and Corpus I've killed? I do not regret fighting back against Parvos Granum and the Grineer Queens, but I don't think my body count would be something to discuss during a dinner at a fancy restaurant. That's not to say I wouldn't be cordial with the Hex, it's just that it feels incredibly awkward. Plus I'm an outsider here and they already have relationships, be they close or not. It feels so weird considering what they've gone through and that I'm from a different timeline.

Random Player: But you're not a video game character...

Me: Alright, let's pull apart the meta aspect of this then. I'm not into dating simulators and I never will be. I have nothing against them, they're just not for me. Yes, I am single, but I am going to save my romantic energy for the woman for me. If that never happens, oh well. I will accept being single for the rest of my life and hope my art and literary works leave a mark on the world. It probably won't, but I'm going to try no matter what. And let's be real, I'm not fit to be in a relationship. I'm autistic, almost 30, and have no job prospects outside of my author career that is unlikely to take off unless a miracle happens. Truth be told I'm either doomed to minimum wage or to die do to life collapsing around me. Either way, I will face this bullshit head on, look death right in the face, and say "you can't fault me for trying." And no, a dating sim will not help me in any form or fashion. They are not real and they never will be. I'm not going to bury my lack of a relationship in delusions just because it's relevant to Warframe's lore!

Random Player: YOU'RE WEIRD, GET AWAY FROM ME!!! (runs away)

Me: Whatever... WOULD THIS STUPID GAME JUST GIVE ME XAKU PRIME'S BP ALREADY!?!

- - - - -

All this to say I don't understand the hype behind the dating sim in Warframe. It's not for me. That's nothing against the devs, I just don't get the inclusion of it. Becoming friends with The Hex? Obviously. Dating one of them? What?! Why?

I'm getting each of them up to "liked" so I can unlock the rest of the quest and that's it. I'm praying this game doesn't force my hand to max out one of them for the syndicate because I'd rather not. I can see myself being friends with The Hex, but not in a relationship with one of them.

Again, this is nothing against the devs, it's just not something I would have implemented. I'm different when it comes to game design, what else can I say? I greatly appreciate DE experimenting like this, even if it's not for me. And don't worry, Random Player is not real. That's just something I made up to explore this idea that you HAVE to romance one of The Hex (again, hoping this isn't required for maxing out the syndicate).

Mid post update: I looked it up. No, you don't need any KIM progress to get to rank 5. It does unlock something relating to the KIM messenger though.

And who knows, maybe the Hex will wow me and I'll change my mind and max out a relationship with one of them. It's not impossible. Again, the whole idea of a "dating sim" in Warframe is strange to me given the lore and direction of the story.

Also if you are angered over my stance towards being single, please stop. I have nothing against anyone you're thinking of, I've just had time to think about it and have accepted my lot in life. If I find the one for me, awesome. If I don't, oh well. Not everybody is meant to be in a relationship and I'm going to focus on living my life. I wanted to start a family and have children, but that is not what I am supposed to do in life. Honestly writing heartfelt stories about good versus evil is my calling in life and I am going to do that no matter what happens.

Also I swear to God if life invalidates my brooding by having me find the one for me tomorrow, I am going to be very annoyed...

Despite my mood, I hope your day goes well, you have fun in Warframe, and the rest of your days are fantastic.

[chaotictempleknight]

I feel like the internet doesn't incentivize writing thought out and respectful discussion posts. People either ignore it for the latest hip-and-trendy so relatable post or they misinterpret what you say and either scream at you or block you.

[chaotictempleknight]

A part of me really does NOT want to be an artist. Truthfully I want to be a writer because I have more fun with that and it's something my malformed, autistic brain can actually handle.

And then I get really proud of an idea I have and end up drawing it...

And then the drawing flops and gets ignored.

Honestly I can't tell if it's my inadequate art skills or the algorithms screwing me over.

Don't take my bad attitude as a sign that you need to give up. I'm not giving up, despite how futile everything is... You'll go mad, but you won't lose your mind. At least you can say you did something and no one can fault you for that.

But seriously, I should've gotten into psychology back in community college.

[books-and-cookies]

I miss buying books :( i very rarely buy any anymore, because of ✨️the economy✨️ and ✨️life✨️, i literally can't afford to anymore, and i'm actually selling a lot of my old books, but yeah :(