#venting frustration

[lilmissrandom4607]

The mist is kicking my a$$

[chaotictempleknight]

I feel like being a writer these days is starting out on hard mode. Web comics, manga, and graphic novels are (in my mind) easy modes because they feature art. It is easy for them to engage the viewer. There is something for them to latch onto right out the gate. They see a cool looking character or setting and don't need to really think about it.

And yes, I am fully aware that you need to learn how to draw in order to be successful. Let's just handwave that for the sake of discussion.

Novels, novellas, and short stories? That's a challenge right there. The author needs to be able to convey what the setting or character looks like in a way that grips even the most indifferent of readers. Furthermore, you don't have any art to catch the reader's attention unless you are an artistic god and can draw too (which I am not), but that begs the question of why you're not just doing a comic...

If you're a writer and it seems like your stories aren't going anywhere, don't give up. Keep working on that story, even if it's not getting any attention. I mean, if you have more important things in life to take care of, obviously prioritize them first. If you can write, keep writing. And if you cannot bring yourself to write a second book, then at least finish the first book.

I'm not saying I envy people who do comics, I'm saying that I feel that I have a lot more work to do due to the nature of the medium I'm conveying my stories through.

[books-and-cookies]

I miss buying books :( i very rarely buy any anymore, because of ✨️the economy✨️ and ✨️life✨️, i literally can't afford to anymore, and i'm actually selling a lot of my old books, but yeah :(

[bodakim]

After reading the Second Movement novel, reading spoilers about Chikai No Finale and seeing a bit more stuffs with the filmstrips benefit, I can say something for sure:

F*ck you Kyoani (and more likely, Ishihada). I wish Yamada could have been more available and the one leading the boat for the movie. Because it’s nothing remotely close to a coherent adaptation (and far from what the novel transcribed).

I wish I could have started the novel earlier.

[lilmissrandom4607]

Vent piece-

Wish it could do more but ik it won’t- I need to go to a whole rage room to probably get this sorted out- physically anyway-

I’ll be fine btw💜 just irl bullsht

[chaotictempleknight]

Writer's Problems Vent Post 1

I'm going to take this Wednesday to do a little venting as I am a bit frustrated with my writing career at the moment. No, this is not a "negative" post that deserves to be "ignored." This is me taking a step back and looking at things I perceive to be a problem so we can potentially find a solution.

In case you could tell, I have a science fantasy adventure series that's having trouble getting off the ground called ULTRAMagic Alternate. You can understand why I feel the need to make this post. I am a writer, so I like to think I have a degree of authority on these matters.

Where are my fans at, people?

You know how there's a push for Independent art at the moment? That's fantastic, but I do feel that there are a lot of people who are just doing this for the clout. They don't want to actually support independent artists and writers, they just want the praise and adulation for "caring." On the other hand, finding new stuff is hard as quality can vary and websites often make it borderline impossible to find new and obscure stuff. They only want the "popular" stuff getting exposure. The internet is a mess and all of the tech giants are hellbent on making it even more of a mess because they need to pump up those numbers so they can scam their investors out of their money. Is it cynicism if its true, honestly?

And I understand the apprehension towards starting a new series. Is this new series worth your time or are you better off doing something else? I have no definitive answer to that question that would not lean into my biases as a writer. I can say 'give people a chance, what's the worst that could happen?' but on the other hand it is infuriating to have a bad piece of media completely waste your time.

Can we ease up on the pressure a little bit?

Hear me out: right now society as a whole is way too entitled in the sense that they DEMAND the creator to also be the audience and the critic. I feel like I have a gun pointed to my head by every website under the sun with them going 'you better engage with content or we'll bury you in the algorithm...' EXCUSE ME? I'M BUSY WORKING ON THE "CONTENT" YOU KEEP DEMANDING I POST. If these websites could replace both creatives and the audience with AI, they would give it time... You cannot expect the creator to also be the critic and audience, not if you want coherent art/writing from them. It is unfair and does not make any sense to overwork them like this.

I'm also getting really tired of this mentality where people demand all of your time and if you want a break? FREAK! DEMON! MONSTER! BAN THEM BAN THEM BAN THEM! Sorry, I have autism and mild self-esteem issues... Ahem, please understand that not only does the creator have to be proactive, but so does the audience. You cannot sit around and go 'oh, someone else will like their content...' that someone else is you, my dude. And if you are already engaging with original and independent art/writing, awesome. If you are busy on a regular basis with work or a personal hobby, I fully understand. If you have a spare moment, however, why not go look up a new, obscure series you've never heard of?

I only read/watch/play stuff that's popular (pretentious groan)...

Really? You realize that mentality is the death of independent art and art in general, right? Well, to be fair there are a lot of other factors, but this one certainly does not help and needs to be called out. You cannot do this to creators. You are refusing to give them a chance and by your own logic, you should not be consuming any piece of media. Everything you've ever watched or read started out from a place of obscurity. Nothing starts out popular, and anything that does either comes from another piece of media from obscurity or is some backhanded form of propaganda.

Hilarious given that as an autistic I've been told by normies to go outside of my comfort zone, yet they never take this advice themselves. Can I get hypocrites for 500, please?

Please take a chance on something new and obscure. Seriously, what is the worst that could happen? I know the universe loves to punish people for that mentality, but it is true. You wasted your time? No, because you gained a new experience, for better or for worse. You discovered bad work? Then state your grievances. The creator is insulting and belittling you? Then block them and tell other people about how that is something you should not do. Action heals, apathy kills.

Quick note: I have not experienced any of these next topics yet, but I am stomping them out before they pop up.

Okay, but why are YOU so important? Kind of arrogant, cooked.

(facepalm) I never said I was important, I was just asking you to humor me on things that I feel are worth discussing. I've been at this for two years and have 6 Books under my belt with a seventh on the way. I am no more important than the person down the street. I'm not asking for your praise, I'm asking you for your time. I understand we all have limited time on this planet, but I'll do my best to make it worth your while. And that's the thing, true artists and writers don't want praise or fame, they want to create. It's ideal if people see their work and enjoy it, but ultimately we are here to tell a story.

Okay, but offer something already!

I AM! Look, I literally have 6 Books ready to read, in addition to multiple short stories and an entire collection of lore entries! Furthermore, I draw art. It's not great, but at least it's something. What else do you want from me!? I'm not attacking you, I'm just pointing out that yes, I have stuff for you to read and see. To be fair, I'll admit that I am not a perfect writer and quality can vary from book to book, but I am open to criticism and feedback. Whether or not I agree with you is a whole other discussion, but say it anyways. And if we don't agree, we can have a conversation about it.

STOP UPDATING YOUR BOOKS! IT'S WEIRD!

No. I am going to keep updating my books until they are perfect. And since perfection is impossible, I will never stop improving my work. Are you against a piece of art or writing being the best it can be? I understand that it can be a little exhausting to reread something, but I don't expect you to go back and reread my books every time I fix a typo. That is up to you. This need of mine to update my work is an admission that I am not perfect and am fully open to fixing my work. Also it drives me nuts when I use the wrong honorific for a king and it's been there for months, requiring me to comb back through all of my books and fix it.

No one responds to your work? Clearly it's garbage that no one wants! Why are you even bothering? Quit wasting everyone's time!

Have you read my books though? On what grounds do you make this assertion? Please read my books before you call them garbage. And if you cannot be bothered to read them, you have no right to call them garbage as you have no frame of reference to hurl that insult at me. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it all.

On the other hand, if you read the books and feel, say, that the plot is too strange, fair enough. I don't think that's a problem, but I accept your stance on that as I agree that the series is weird. Do you feel a character is lacking substance? Okay then, I'll work on fixing that. There are always future books and short stories. Do you think I could be more organized and should follow my story outline more? Yes to the organization, but no to the story outline issue, as I always come up with some better, ha.

I am not wasting anyone's time, nor are you with me (debatable), because "discourse" gets the gears in my brain turning. How can I respond to you and does this have any bearing on how I can improve my work? Also telling people to give up because they are 'wasting everyone's time' is incredibly toxic and insulting. Please do not adopt this mentality, especially not towards creatives.

Closing Thoughts

And that's it for now. Activity and interaction has been fairly low at the moment, which was already low to begin with. You'll have to forgive my need to vent. The way I look at it is that this is completely fine as long as it's not self-loathing. Hear me out:

"Life sucks, everything sucks, why should I even bother? There's no point. All this stuff means nothing. We should overturn everything because life means nothing." That's self-loathing. That does not solve anything, nor does it provoke any meaningful thoughts.

"This sucks! Why does this system have to be so janky? If I was working on this, I would make it so option B occurs as much as A does. Seriously, you are being inefficient and could easily improve this process greatly!" While this complaining may come off as negative, it seeks to point out the issue and provide a solution, something self-loathing does not.

Please do not conflate or confuse the two, as it stops genuine concern and a desire to fix things from being noticed. I cannot even begin to state how annoyed I am with toxic positivity. It's pretty much the other side of the self-loathing coin. One side aggressively ignores all solutions while the other aggressively ignores all problems kind of like Dark Souls 2 discourse, ha.

Feel free to give your own thoughts on these issues. I wouldn't have posted this if I didn't feel confident about expressing my thoughts on these topics.

[chaotictempleknight]

- - Spoilers for Warframe for 1999, probably... I have no idea - -

Where in the blue blazes did the dating sim aspect of the 1999 update come from?

Random player: Hey, Chaotic! Who are you romancing?

Me: Pardon?

Random Player: The KIM Messenger, who are you romancing?

Me: You have to romance the hex?

Random Player: I mean, you really should. It's fun!

Me: Why though? Why would I start a relationship with a group strife stricken soldiers who are trying to fight back against an oppressive government when I'm an anomaly from a future in which we're fighting a bunch of psychotic, blood-thirsty, mutant humans who think they're the next Roman empire when in reality they are all of the worst aspects of Rome that have set the destruction of reality into motion? I think I have bigger things to worry about then going on a date with one of The Hex.

Random Player: But it's fun!

Me: None of the Hex are the one for me, nor do I want to date any of them. It's nothing against them, I just find the idea incredibly awkward given everything we've all gone through. Plus do you not understand the amount of Grineer and Corpus I've killed? I do not regret fighting back against Parvos Granum and the Grineer Queens, but I don't think my body count would be something to discuss during a dinner at a fancy restaurant. That's not to say I wouldn't be cordial with the Hex, it's just that it feels incredibly awkward. Plus I'm an outsider here and they already have relationships, be they close or not. It feels so weird considering what they've gone through and that I'm from a different timeline.

Random Player: But you're not a video game character...

Me: Alright, let's pull apart the meta aspect of this then. I'm not into dating simulators and I never will be. I have nothing against them, they're just not for me. Yes, I am single, but I am going to save my romantic energy for the woman for me. If that never happens, oh well. I will accept being single for the rest of my life and hope my art and literary works leave a mark on the world. It probably won't, but I'm going to try no matter what. And let's be real, I'm not fit to be in a relationship. I'm autistic, almost 30, and have no job prospects outside of my author career that is unlikely to take off unless a miracle happens. Truth be told I'm either doomed to minimum wage or to die do to life collapsing around me. Either way, I will face this bullshit head on, look death right in the face, and say "you can't fault me for trying." And no, a dating sim will not help me in any form or fashion. They are not real and they never will be. I'm not going to bury my lack of a relationship in delusions just because it's relevant to Warframe's lore!

Random Player: YOU'RE WEIRD, GET AWAY FROM ME!!! (runs away)

Me: Whatever... WOULD THIS STUPID GAME JUST GIVE ME XAKU PRIME'S BP ALREADY!?!

- - - - -

All this to say I don't understand the hype behind the dating sim in Warframe. It's not for me. That's nothing against the devs, I just don't get the inclusion of it. Becoming friends with The Hex? Obviously. Dating one of them? What?! Why?

I'm getting each of them up to "liked" so I can unlock the rest of the quest and that's it. I'm praying this game doesn't force my hand to max out one of them for the syndicate because I'd rather not. I can see myself being friends with The Hex, but not in a relationship with one of them.

Again, this is nothing against the devs, it's just not something I would have implemented. I'm different when it comes to game design, what else can I say? I greatly appreciate DE experimenting like this, even if it's not for me. And don't worry, Random Player is not real. That's just something I made up to explore this idea that you HAVE to romance one of The Hex (again, hoping this isn't required for maxing out the syndicate).

Mid post update: I looked it up. No, you don't need any KIM progress to get to rank 5. It does unlock something relating to the KIM messenger though.

And who knows, maybe the Hex will wow me and I'll change my mind and max out a relationship with one of them. It's not impossible. Again, the whole idea of a "dating sim" in Warframe is strange to me given the lore and direction of the story.

Also if you are angered over my stance towards being single, please stop. I have nothing against anyone you're thinking of, I've just had time to think about it and have accepted my lot in life. If I find the one for me, awesome. If I don't, oh well. Not everybody is meant to be in a relationship and I'm going to focus on living my life. I wanted to start a family and have children, but that is not what I am supposed to do in life. Honestly writing heartfelt stories about good versus evil is my calling in life and I am going to do that no matter what happens.

Also I swear to God if life invalidates my brooding by having me find the one for me tomorrow, I am going to be very annoyed...

Despite my mood, I hope your day goes well, you have fun in Warframe, and the rest of your days are fantastic.