Fuck it d××m 2 days in a row why not

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Fuck it d××m 2 days in a row why not
how does it feel to not have to crawl for every achievement in your life
how does it feel to call it success instead of survival
how does it feel to live in the moment and not scramble for the next second
how does it feel, to be so lucky
how do people not know about fast fashion like??? and then they'll know that certain brands like shein/temu those shops employ sweat labour but still shop at them?? that makes zero sense, aren't we the generation suppose to save the earth?
i'll always feel like a loser thinking abt my teenage years. everyone partied, went out had fun tried new thinks but i didn't do anything besides being depressed in my room. and it's the age where everyone made friends so everyone has their friendgroups now except me. i feel so alienated everytime i see a tv show abt teenagers doing anything with their friends, or hearing anecdotes of people abt the scandalous shit that happened to them a party. i don't know what's wrong with me, i just feel like i'm always gonna feel like a lonely outsider
sometimes I wish I had a mother who was there for me. who actually loved me. I'll never experience that, but I've come to terms with it
having no friends sucks :B
I wish I would've kept my 2016~2020 online friends instead of just cutting everyone off for thinking I deserved to be lonely
Now I just have my bf, which is enough but I still feel some kind of emptiness.. and working from home somehow makes this worse
I just want to vent idk why but everyday I question myself a about my gender yes I like being a girl but i just don’t feel like girl sometimes and I feel like a boy sometimes or I feel like both or not even want a gender some days I just don’t know any more.
:(
I wish I didn't get angry easily,It takes away a lot of opportunities