#very personal rant

[mochiiros]

If Twitter does die one day,

I really hope it takes all the people thriving off of "quick takes" with it. They really act like they did something with their aggressive takes and opinions and pretend like they’re always right. There's no thought, only cloutchasing.  I have found this to be the frustrating thing about the platform, because it doesn’t actually contribute to any form of discussion. It always makes people feel bad too, cuz your two-cents mean nothing to a person who chooses to be loud and unafraid of the consequences of what they say. 

It can be the most mundane thing but Twitter User#82232 will make you feel bad for even mentioning it, speaking it into existence and just being a big fan or appreciating it for what it is. There’s almost ALWAYS no nuance to this kind of behavior. 

[breathing-chaos]

I don't care what religion you are - you don't "Just Read" anything.

You read with: ...your childhood background... ...your community influences... ...your national and geo-political context... ...your language's innate strengths and weaknesses... ...the strength and weaknesses of any translators who influenced a foreign book (like the bible)....

I promise you. Nobody "just reads" anything.

I'm not saying that everybody needs to dive neck-deep into commentaries and theology, or deconstruct everything about their belief system,

but you are absolutely not "just reading" your religious texts without bias.

[jules-myhairgoesup]

A new day.

After finding a lot of my co Brits weren't brave enough yesterday, I hope one thing going forwards...  Please, UK 's, do NOT let the NHS be sold off in pieces or private contracts given out, especially to outside of the country.  As cash starved as it is, We are lucky and should be proud of what we have and have built with regards to universal healthcare.  My Dad had at least 5 extra years of life thanks to them - if we had lived somewhere with private healthcare we couldn't  have afforded the type of care he had, all the operations, medicines and aftercare, nurses daily visits.... We would have had Nothing.  Nothing.   They may not be perfect, but I and most other Brits will always defend them and the work they do.  Of course we must  fight for more funding to education, no more benefit cuts, a living wage, protection at work and improving equality. But especially we need to fight as hard and as loudly as we can for our NHS and not let it be carved up to the benefit of big business. 

[whotfislynn]

More people should have shame, especially in customer service. If you see two people working in the smallest Cafe possible, with 35.000 people waiting in line, you dont go and order a fuck ass waffle with egg-salad and an fuck as avocado plate with a little hummus on the side. I literally hate you. DO YOU NOT SEE MY SOUL WITHERING AWAY RIGHT NOW????

[kittyhellsystem]

sometimes, i regret how i had to get back to this spot in my life. i used to lie about everything because how much i hated myself. online, i was a white, abled man. irl, i was me who tried to pretend to be the same person i was online. i slowly went back into accepting who i was, but i kept lying to make it make sense. yeah! i learned i was mixed! but that wasnt true. i was always blasian, i knew that. i just hid from it. oh yeah i just got cochlear implants! no, i got them as a kid, i just had to get replacements due to them breaking during my injury. oh i just got this diagnosis! it goes on and on. and these lies to cover up the old lies, its really gotten me in trouble. in order for me to come to say the truth with pride, ive had people doubt in my ability to tell the truth. people have told me i was faking and lying and theyve left me over it. but, i dont care anymore. ive taken pride in who i am now, i wont let anyone else take that away from me now. i used to fake who i was, not anymore. im fat, im blasian, im disabled, im facially and limb different, im an immigrant, im mentally ill, im queer, im intersex, im trans. fuck you, i wont fuck myself over for the approval of anyone else anymore.

look at me with disgust. i dont care. i am xinyan and i wont hate myself for it anymore. i will never force myself to be eric again just because i hated set.

[mediumsizedqueerlynx]

i hate being the only one around who cares about covid. like, we planned to go somewhere today, so i made sure to prepare myself accordingly & made plans on what to buy so i can be as safe as possible.

then i get told, two days prior, that there's a third person coming whom i never heard about. no idea if i ever knew this person. so now i have to prepare myself for a third person i don't know.

one day prior i get word third person's kid is sick. the flu. my response? to ask if they got tested for covid. they don't know, why does it matter?

well, you see, we live in a pandemic & covid is deadly.

if covid were deadly, my mom & her friend would be dead now.

so, obviously, i sent them statistics. 7 million people died of covid. it is deadly. for some reason, this is now called a "discussion"

i sent another statistic that shows that i'm at higher risk than them & my mom. i explain that while they didn't die from it, the risk is higher for me.

did they, at any point, ask the third person if they got tested? no. because if it were covid they "would've said so." ah yes because stranger's words are absolutely reliable & tell us all about the questions we don't have answers for!

so obviously i get told today that third person isn't coming & now friend asked third person (who we now know is not coming) if they got tested. they did, it's not covid, i got "all agitated" for "no reason"

because wanting to now if i have to prepare for a person potentially carrying covid along to a set up meeting with me (we're not talking about going somewhere where other people may be but specifically about meeting up together) is "discussing covid," "being scared of covid," "being scared of getting sick," and "overly focusing on this"

it's a pandemic.

it's killing people.

people who are disabled, people who are immuno-compromised, people who are part of a demographic with higher death rates than the people i'm meeting today.

[ru1n3r]

my parents wiped my phone and now all my game progress and photos are gone. i was on thousands of levels on all the games on my phone which took years to do and now it’s all gone. most of what i spend my time doing is playing mobile games now i have nothing to do because i dont have the motivation to get back to where i was. i also had almost 17000 photos and most of them are gone. all those memories just lost. im so fucking frustrated and sad.

[myimaginarywonderland]

Okay, I'll try to make this post as good as I can right now but it might not be worded rightly. So forgive me if I don't phrase some things right or if some things aren't easy to understand but I'll try my best to explain the point I am making.

I haven't watched F1 for that long, maybe 4-5 years? So I wasn't a fan when Jules died but I still knew because it was just so long after a motorsport as big as F1 had lost a driver.

But I was there when Anthoine crashed. I was actually trying to start watching F2 at that time.

And I remember for the first time in this fandom feeling the weight of motorsport.

Because yeah of course you know a driver can die at any race at any point or have an otherwise bad accident. But with all the progress that has been made, with the safety procedures so much better you just bask in this wistful unawareness of that because the moment you think about it it's a spiral you can't stop (at least in my case.)

But when I saw Anthoine crash and the reactions of everyone in the paddock it finally hit me that this is the sport I support. A sport where drivers put their lives on the line daily for the thing they love.

And it was suddenly like I stopped seeing F1 as a fan with rose coloured glasses on.

It was a weight that was put on me and I didn't know how to deal with it because suddenly the reality of the sport, the side of it you never try to have there was right there.

It was unavoidable.

And it's then that you sort of grow up or rather grow out of the fandom phase that is all cutesy and funny and are confronted with the harsh reality.

But even then when I was crying and shaking, spiraling about thoughts that this could be Lewis or Seb, there was a certain distance because it wasn't a driver I knew in the sense that I as a fan know the F1 drivers.

The worst moment and the moment of true realization came with Romain's accident.

I remember holding my breath, genuinely shaking, crying, anxiety making my stomach hurt and fear making my throat close because holy shit, suddenly it was real. Suddenly it was a driver I was supporting and I driver I felt like I knew and a driver that actually was a real person and most importantly a father, a husband and someone's friend. There was a realisation that these aren't just some guys from a series or characters (which I think is a whole issue with driver to survive that I don't have the energy right now to go further into) but these are real people and I might have just watched the last moment of someone's life on live television.

And that made me feel horrible in a way I can't describe.

And it made me come to terms, truly this time, with the dangers and the risks of this sport and how easily you can lose someone.

The moments, the minutes of silence (or that's what it felt like) I was already thinking about what I would post to remember Romain by, what I would say, how I would deal with that and most importantly how I could ever watch F1 after that.

So in a way I never truly grasped the sport in it's full extent until that very second I thought we had lost him.

And ever since then I had to watch the FIA throw safety, regulations, fans well being, drivers health, team personals life and so much more away for the sake of a good race. I wish I could say this was just in F1 but it's not. I had to learn that after an FE race there was a bomb just what felt like meters away from it. I had to see cars driver under cranes, driving not getting out of the car as soon as we know they are okay to do it because somehow it took minutes to remove a car on top of another one. Somehow I had to sit there and watch as a driver with possible concussions and fractures was just left there.

I can't watch F1 without thinking who will the the Jules, the Anthoine or even the Romain for new fans. I can't watch F1 without wondering if I have to put Pierre's or Estebans or anyone else name in the list of drivers that we lost.

I can't watch F1 without feeling like nothing will be done until the next Jules.

And that thought is so horrible that I want to slap myself for even thinking it but it's there, always in the back of my mind because if I can't trust the FIA with fans safety how will I ever trust them with the one of the drivers?