An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
This is the second week of our Christmas in July feature! Today’s fic is a study of Isak’s relationship with Even during the Christmas season. If you like it, please consider leaving it some love in the form of kudos/comments!
it’s going to rain on friday, the twenty-second of december - vesperthine / @vesperthine (4k words)
Isak has tried to tell him that there’s nothing to discuss ( – that mom isn’t well, that dad is a coward, that he just wants to forget everything about family and expected happiness and just leech off of theirs – ) but every time Even has gone quiet and looked down; looked so sad that the conversation has just died.
Which he knows is a fatal blow ( – a communicative meltdown – ) that leads to everything that he wants to avoid; screaming and crying that reminds all too much of the things he just wants to forget.
This is a heartbreakingly beautiful, canon-compliant exploration of how Isak and Even might have very different feelings about Christmas and family time.
The writing here is minimalistic, poetic and intensely emotional, and has a feeling of profound exposure and vulnerability; it does an amazing job of getting into Isak’s headspace with all its difficult and conflicting emotions.
The relationship between Isak and Even feels achingly realistic here, as they struggle to understand one another through frustration, sadness and deep trust and love.
This story will especially resonate with anyone who doesn’t love Christmas, or who finds themselves at odds with their partner’s expectations of holidays.
As might be expected from this subject, this story is extremely angsty, but it’s very worth it, and ends on a hopeful note.
And as usual, it all comes down to the fact that he can’t sort out his own feelings properly. That he doesn’t know what he actually wants, because he can’t separate what he wants from that which he should want ( – where the anger really grows – ) according to norms; where the line between responsibility and your own well-being goes.
That which is his omnipresent ( – very own, well watered, finely tuned, personalized – ) problem.