#veterandemigod

[veterandemigod]

Sally, to Paul: I can’t believe he’s even talking to you. He doesn’t like anyone.

Percy: Yeah, I don’t like anyone.

Sally: But we’re really working on that.

Percy: No, she’s working on that.

[veterandemigod]

Percy, exhausted: Here, I need you to slap me.

Annabeth: I’m not going to do that, Percy.

Annabeth: [slaps him as hard as she can] I thought perhaps the element of surprise would help.

Percy, suddenly energized: It did!

[veterandemigod]

Frank: I've never seen you work this hard at anything, ever.

Percy: That's because I care so much. I set an alarm for 5:00 a.m. so I could switch Octavian's fiber pills with placebos.

Frank: Dammit. I want to care about something as much as you care about ruining Octavian's life.

[veterandemigod]

Annabeth: Stop playing with toys and get back to work.

Jason: You’re not our boss.

Annabeth: What did you just say to me?

Jason: So sorry, ma’am.

[veterandemigod]

Percy: Will said I was fine. Just a mild concussion.

Annabeth: No, he said it could've been worse. Not the same.

[veterandemigod]

Nico: I wish I had my knives, we could’ve made a blood pact!

Percy: Ooh, next time.

[veterandemigod]

Nico: Well, Dad, I appreciate your concern.

Hades: Hmmm.

Nico: And your criticism of everything I’ve ever done in my life. But I’m going to have to politely disagree with you, based mainly on the fact that you dress like a drug dealer.

[veterandemigod]

Percy: Today I’m doing a top ten video of men I think should date my mom and be my new papa.

Percy: Coming in at dead fucking last is my stepdad Gabe. Fuck you Gabe. I hate you. Get out of this house.

Percy: Gimme my legos back.