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[theparselmouthvh]

Numerology Horoscopes: Halloween Edition 2

It's that time of year, folks! Something spookier than Madam Tibbles' ghost is in the air tonight, for it's almost Halloween! What can you do to prepare for this spooky day, we hear you ask? By finding out your life path number and using it to discover your perfect costume. And your fate as well, I suppose. Duh! (For those of you who don't know how to calculate your life path number: take the numerical form of your date of birth - 22/08/2023, for example - and add the digits together. This makes a total of 19. Then add the numbers: 1 + 9 = 10. Then add the digits again: 1 + 0 = 1. This will leave you with your life path number - in this case, it is a 1.) LIFE PATH NUMBER: 1 You might have been feeling reckless recently, One, but you'd do well to calm down a little. The stars and planets are aligning quite dangerously for you and your loved ones, so don't do anything manic for a while! Just sit back and relax. For Halloween, try dressing as something as calm and not reckless as possible. Maybe a giant banana? LIFE PATH NUMBER: 2 By now, Two, you've probably found the love of your life (and if not, you must have a BFF at least?). However, it seems like you haven't been taking care of that relationship. Do spend some time with your close ones. It will open new doors and new opportunities will arise. Speaking of couples... you and your other half/BFF could dress as a pair of famous muggle characters, such as Princess Leia and Darth Vader, this Halloween? May the force be with you! LIFE PATH NUMBER: 3 It's good news for you, Three. You'll pretty much achieve everything you set your mind to this month; even the past can't stop you at this point! Just don't forget to be modest, okay? No one likes a show off. As for this year's Halloween costume, why not try a costume with a bit of a bang? Like, literally... LIFE PATH NUMBER: 4 You've always been creative, Four, and your creativity will continue to blossom as you're presented with a range of opportunities to shine in the coming months. For Halloween, we suggest either the Queen of Hearts or the Mad Hatter (muggle references again: ask a muggleborn if you're unsure). Both excellent choices if you aren't afraid to spice things up a bit. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 5 It's okay to have friends and hang around, Five, but sometimes you need to take a break from your loved ones. It looks like you're giving them all of your attention - and you don't want to lose yourself in the process, do you? We suggest having some time to yourself and learning an instrument or picking up a new hobby. Halloween costume? Go for something conventional like a vampire or mummy. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 6 As a natural born leader, Six, we know you like to take control of all situations. Don't take on too much responsibility in the coming months, though; you need to learn to relax and have fun. For Halloween, dress up nurse or a doctor. You can never go wrong with that costume! LIFE PATH NUMBER: 7 A tendency to isolate yourself will not serve you well at this time of year, Seven. It's okay to spend time alone, of course, but make sure you spend some time with your classmates as well. Maybe you could invite some to a small gathering? You could also ask a friend for some costume ideas - we're sure they'll come up with plenty of good ones. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 8 A friendly nature and the ability to be creative will get you far this time of year, Eight. Decorate your place of refuge with bats, spiders and other Halloween characters. Your artistic and writing talents will also help you tell the perfect story on Halloween night. And since you're creative enough not to need our help, we're sure you can come up with a brilliant costume on your own. Good luck! LIFE PATH NUMBER: 9 Last but certainly not least, we have the friendly and selfless Nine. Spread Halloween cheer by wishing everyone a good holiday and giving candy to everyone you meet. You could also dress up as an equally kind individual (look at magic or muggle story books for inspiration), but beware of seeking too much attention from your peers. written by Christian Medici and Zara Anguariz

[theparselmouthvh]

Dear Parselmouth...: Edition Nine

Caution: The Parselmouth claims no responsibility for any accidents, loss of friendships or otherwise unprecedented disasters that occur as a result of the advice issued below. Any questions, comments or complaints are best addressed to the editors. ————————– Dear Parselmouth, My cat ate my best friend's rat. Should I confess? - Forever Friend Dear Forever Friend, Why should you? It's obviously your best friend's fault for having such a weak pet. Hogwarts is all about survival of the fittest, after all (and yes, pets are included). Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Dear Parselmouth, I never win any duels. How can I change my luck? - Fed Up Dear Fed Up, Short answer: you're pathetic. Long answer: Felix Felicis. It sounds like it will be your only hope. Just don't get caught by the officiators - it might be considered cheating... Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Dear Parselmouth, I've liked this boy since third year and he recently broke up with a friend of mine. Should I ask him out? - Wishful Romantic Dear Wishful Romantic, If you don't know the answer to that, you don't deserve to be in a relationship. Speak to your friend about it first. There's no point in losing a friendship over a boy. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Don’t forget to keep writing in with all those burning questions! written by Dove Lightwood

[theparselmouthvh]

Classwork 101: How to Succeed in Muggle Studies

Struggling in a particular class? Don't want to ask your classmates for help and risk looking like an idiot? Don't want to ask your teachers for help for fear of looking worse? Fear no more! This is the sixth installment of The Parselmouth's 'How to Succeed in' series - a group of articles helping you to achieve that O grade in each and every one of your classes. Today we're looking at Muggle Studies. Ew. TACKLING LESSONS 1. Muggles are gross. Why would you even want to turn up? Don't turn up. 2. If you do turn up, try not to take anything Professor Gawkrodger says too seriously. Although it might be nice to think of muggles as pointed stick-wielding savages, they just aren't. We're the superior species here. TACKLING HOMEWORK 1. Throw yourself wholeheartedly into every task. If Professor Gawkrodger asks you to stab someone with a pencil, go for it! Those Hufflepuffs could use a lesson or two. 2. Your essays won't require much thought. Like Divination - the wackier it is, the higher your mark will be. TACKLING THE PROFESSOR 1. Take everything he says with a pinch of salt. 2. I've heard he likes to be bribed with 'adult' beverages. 3. Don't try and contact him on any muggle devices. We've all heard of an older student who tried to do that once; I don't think it ended very well for her... Follow these simple tips and you, like me, will pass Muggle Studies with flying colours! written by Eden Beattie

[theparselmouthvh]

Welcome to a New Year

Mediocre. Slytherin was mediocre last year. Like, last place for the house cup? We all know we can do better. We did have some achievements last year, predominantly on the pitch and in the chamber, but even they weren't the best. We came in second for the Quidditch cup, which is a lot better than third or last. Then again, second is also pretty pathetic. In the dueling tournament, Kelly Ashcroft and Maxine Capalet-Miller came second and third respectively in the advanced tier, whilst recent graduate Maksim Valentin placed first in the draft tier. That's decent enough, I suppose. But it still isn't the best. This year, we need to start over. We can place first for the house cup. We can win the Quidditch cup and place highly in the dueling tournaments. We have new prefects. We even have a new face leading The Parselmouth. After the graduation of our long standing Editor-in-Chief, Asia Chadwick, The Parselmouth welcomes its newest Editor-in-Chief, former senior editor and continuing layout editor Eden Beattie. Eden brings a fresh set of eyes and a wonderful perspective that I know will make this one of The Parselmouth's best years yet. Her editing team includes returning senior editor Viola Wayland and me, Kestrel Wayland, your newest junior editor. The rest of The Parselmouth's staff this year are Christian Medici, Dove Lightwood, Havana Towne, Juan Garcia and Zara Anguariz. Clearly, with a team as good as us, you can look forward to many exciting things this year from The Parselmouth. All I have left to say is this: welcome to a new year, snakes. And please don't mess it up. written by Kestrel Wayland