When in 1953 Tove heard that her lesbianism had long been a subject of general gossip in the capital, she was shocked. Living a life of unguarded isolation in a world of her own, she had never suspected anything of the kind. Now the harsh truth was revealed in a threatening letter from an angry young man. Her privacy seemed to have vanished. There were anonymous letters, all manner of mudslinging and eavesdropping - she even suspected that her telephone was being bugged. Exposed to all kinds of things she had thought only happened to others, she was suddenly the object of slander and hatred.
Even enlightened colleagues could reveal their prejudices. One example of this is Marja-Liisa Vartio’s story of how she met Tove at a literary evening. According to Vartio, Tove was by then already a celebrity and the object of envy in Helsinki literary circles. Other authors imagined that the Moomins, those ‘strange fantasy figures’, had made her rich. They also knew about her sexual orientation. Tove had offered Vartio a drink from her own glass, and Vartio had declined, as she ‘knew that it meant the start of a flirtation’. Even among artists it seemed to be easy to lapse into homophobia and jealousy.
Lesbianism was such a sensitive topic that it could not normally be talked about, even with close relatives. Tove was aware that her parents knew. With her mother she had even discussed her friendship with Vivica. Faffan had heard the rumours, and had tried to enquire about them, but could not even bring himself to say the word ‘homosexual’ out loud. Tove concluded that her mother’s silence stemmed from tact, and appreciated her diplomacy. To Eva, she wrote: ‘I have a feeling that Ham understands but will never talk about it until she wants to.’ For Tove, that decision meant loneliness. Not even decades of living with Tuulikki Pietilä eased the taboo, and mother and daughter never discussed the matter. Avoidance, concealment and silence about things that everyone knew about was very common in Finland. Vivica Bandler vented her feelings of disappointment caused by her own mother’s silence about her homosexuality in a text that describes the pain in such a circle of silence:
So now it was said. What you knew. What I knew that you knew. What must never be spoken aloud as long as you lived. And what I will finally be able to talk about when you are dead.
How was it possible? That you kept so cleverly quiet about it, Mother? [...] Did you go around hoping like other poor mothers of your generation that I would be cured - or ‘see sense’, as I’m sure you called it.
Vivica remained not only an inspiring and helpful colleague, but also a close friend. She was ‘the Big Ghost, the Original Friend’. Almost every year she spent a week on Tove and Tooti’s island, and in return they visited her at her farm in the province of Saari. For Tove, Vivica was like a family member to whom she could always turn when she had problems. Together they created many remarkable plays for theatre, radio and television. Tove could also talk to her at length about her relationship with Tuulikki, and was herself in turn Vivica’s confidante. Their correspondence was extensive and covered all areas of their lives. Tove wrote to Vivica about her work, trusted her judgement and was anxious for her to read and assess books she had only half-finished writing. If Vivica was busy, the books had to wait.
Vivica’s close friendship with Ham continued, and she was concerned about her friend’s ageing and increasingly ill mother. In the early 1950s Ham became seriously ill and had to go into hospital for abdominal examinations. When she came home, mother and daughter spent ten glorious days of vacation in Saari as Vivica’s guests. Tove told Eva that Vivica was an infinitely loyal friend who would never betray her. Vivica would always be an important part of her life. Tove considered that it was thanks to Vivica she had got rid of her naiveté and her desire to beautify things, qualities she had often thought were ingrained personality traits.
- Tove Jansson: Work and Love by Tuula Karjalainen
