#viktor post

[zonkity-zoo]

[orionchildofhades]

i wonder about viktor's childhood. about him growing up in the fissures. about him breathing in poisonous gases and starting coughing, falling because his leg wouldn't let him stay upright while he caught his breath. i think about the first time he built something. not even meaningful, or close to useful, finding loose screws and cogs on the ground and tightening them together in the shadows. i think about viktor after he met singed, when he came back and took care of a dying salamander, petting her, feeding her, listening to singed explain the basic of science to him, things he could not do with his hands but his mind, math, hard calculation. do you think singed taught him to read? and then he came back with the flowers to find the salamander dead. gone. keening in pain, attached to so many tubes, so many liquid, and wondering just for a second about his own fate. his lungs, his leg, his back. if he, too, was dying and would end like this. i think about viktor and wonder how he ended up in piltover, how he ended up as heimerdinger's assistant. no title, no name, no patron. i think about his own research before jayce and his arcane dream. do you think he was like sky? working on his research in a corner, trying to figure out how to bring it to heimerdinger? do you think about how he grew more confident, more sure of himself. he was alone, he could rely only on this fact, he brought himself in the academy, to where he stood then. how many people he had to fight for it, how many hours spent proving himself.

i also think about him riding on the dream that was hextech. seeing how his ideas could change the world, how his actions could have a positive impact. but it was not really his own but jayce's. they managed together, worked together, lost hours of sleep, dreamless nights of torturous hope for a breakthrough, days spent in pain hunched over a desk or running around to experiment with his leg and back killing him, but in the end, the hexgate was named as a project under jayce talis, jayce was the golden boy, the man of progress, he was heimerdinger's pupil, and the kirammans' protégé.

i think about viktor coughing the first drops of blood, realising his fate, seeing the salamander and knowing how she ended. he knows it's catching up with him now, he knows the clock ticking above his head started speeding up. and he rushes. he no longer cares if things could be dangerous. a decade of careful research and testing? he's lucky if he sees another full year, he cannot wait, cannot break. he goes to singed, he carves his skin, he wants to save the world but gods does he want to save himself too.

and he dies, but comes back, hating what he is but knowing it's his last chance. the rune, the hexcore, it tells through him, to him, but it's still a little bit of him inside. the way he feels, sees, knows, it's all changed but he's more himself than he will be later. he refuses to let singed use warwick, somewhere in him he likes what he managed to built, the people he could save. somewhere inside of him, he allows in a way he never could in piltover. he reaches inside vander and there is a new softness he never knew before, a wonder for feelings and memories that are not his, a care for what the world could be. there is also something of hunger in him, something between his and the arcane's, the control he likes to have, the knowledge nad security he has in his position, in knowing what he can or could do now. it's in the way he knows he cannot go back to what was before but cannot give it up either, its rolling a small cog in his hands when he can, rebuilding elements of his past life around his new one, bargaining with his visitors (no weapons, conditions) it's refusing to take the next step, leaving in the liminal space between viktor and the arcane, wandering the palace of vander's mind and resting with it while refusing to acknowledge jayce's pain in the lab. but the hexcore could not survive in his weakened body and therefore he needed to evolve.

and i think about the end of arcane and viktor's name being forgotten after all he did to make it stay, all he sacrificed, all he gave up. being told that he had to work for another decade for his project to see the light of day but feeling the clock ticking, the breath leaving his lungs, knowing that the next time blood rushed out of his airways could be the last he would break at all. i think about viktor who did not save a single soul, of his dream of helping the undercity, of him saving jayce on that first night after the council meeting, of sky, joyful and hopeful sky, vanishing in a heap of violent ash, of all the shimmer user dropping like flies once viktor fell, of jayce's face full of fear when he closed his fist around viktor's own. everything he was, could have been, would have been. the brightest flame burns the fastest indeed.

[zonkity-zoo]

do you see my vision

[zonkity-zoo]

for you~

[zonkity-zoo]

Im going crazy over this man he just said, out loud, "hehe. thats funny :3" before reblogging and I need to EAT HIM

[zonkity-zoo]

seeing a reblog below a generic meme is like "yeees, peer-reviewed"

[zonkity-zoo]

me and my bf (and my other bf ash) share this blog, but I'm never active so it's his now ig. my reblogs/posts are under #viktor post and his are under #laios post. theres also ash, with #ash post but i cant be bothered to make it link. we are all gay. uhm. yeag

other tags: (below cut)

#fav - things we might wanna look at later or just really really like.

#meeee - relatable stuff or gender envy or just "haha me".

#creachures - anything to do with cool plants, animals, agriculture, ecology, and all things monster. Pretty general tag.

#cryptish - stuff that is kinda cryptid or SCP or whatever in vibes but not really. We have yet to actually use this tag very much.

#obligatory reblog - something weve already reblogged but we just have to reblog after seeing it again

other tags: medieval posting, horror postings, awoo, polls

[citrus-grove]

Apparently I tense up our legs when I front

I was not aware of this until about 5 minutes ago, Sal made me relax them and it actually feels so different like what??