Vincent would make just about any deal to help Adrik get his memories back.
Adrik wouldn’t let him. He’d see it as something he either is going to get back one day, or he doesn’t, and he’s okay with that now. He used to be obsessed with trying to get his memories back, and it stopped him from seeing a future.
Now that he has a future with Vincent, Adrik wouldn’t mind if they come back one day, but he’s done making that a focus of his life. He’d rather spend the time he has left enjoying it with Vincent.
Adrik: Adrik lounged long-ways on the couch with his back propped up against the armrest. He had his nose in a book he'd been reading on an off for the past month, when a question suddenly occurred to him, something he'd yet to discuss with Vincent, but was of great interest to him. So he set his book aside, stared at the other, and waited to be noticed.
Vincent: Vincent was in his own little world. Reading through a modern-day spell book as one would a comic. Most of the rituals and blessings seemed ridiculous. Page after page dog eared in order to try for himself. There had to be some merit. Some! Otherwise this was robbery of intelligence and money.
But there was a distraction. The other side of the couch seemed a little too still. Vincent peeked from the top of his book, eyes narrowing.
Adrik: When Adrik finally caught Vincent's eye, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile. Then he made a motion with his finger for Vincent to come near him, and a gesture with his other hand for Vincent to sit in his lap.
Vincent: "With my book?" asked to those hands.
Adrik: "No book," Adrik shook his head. "I would like your full attention. I have questions."
Vincent: "When people have questions I'm usually in trouble." The book was gently tossed onto the floor. Up he crawled Adrik's impressive body to settle in.
Adrik: "You are not in trouble, I promise. These are good questions. Questions of curiosity," Adrik assured Vincent with a chuckle. Once he was settled, Adrik's hands smoothed over Vincent's thighs, then up his hips and back to rub slow, soothing lines along his frame. He took his time, enjoying the lines of Vincent's body at his leisure, over his clothes.
Vincent: Those gentle caresses were a surefire method of putting his little bird to sleep. His eyes closed. Arm draped over Adrik's chest.
"What curious questions do you have for me."
Adrik: Adrik smiled to himself when he saw those eyes close, and his hands stilled so he would not put Vincent to sleep.
Hmmm... How best to approach this?
"Hmmm.... well, I wish to know your fantasies," he said bluntly, having decided that there wasn't really a way to ease into the subject. "With me, without me. Those of a sexual nature." Not a question per se, but at least it was simple and to the point.
Vincent: Vincent opened his eyes at the question, perplexed yes, but not so stunned as to leave the question unanswered.
"Sexual fantasies." He had to say it out loud. A question he could say he'd never been asked in any realm.
"I don't know. I don't think about it. When I want you, I have you. I don't have to daydream. You're here."
Adrik: Of course Vincent would have such an answer, and it made Adrik chuckle. "Hmmm... so you have no desires? Nothing you wish for me to do to you? Things you daydream about when we are apart? Have you never touched yourself and thought of pleasure?"
Vincent: "I have." Had he told Adrik? He thought he had, but could have been mistaken. "But the thought was of your skin, and your kisses. The thought of your warmth all over me."
Adrik: If Adrik didn't love that that answer was very much something to expect from Vincent, he might be disappointed. Instead he kissed the top of Vincent's head.
"Mmm... What did you imagine of my skin? Of my kisses? Where does my warmth feel best?" More direct questions then. Perhaps he could help Vincent contemplate some of his own, more detailed, desires.
Vincent: "Like an embrace I can't escape. It's all over. Your lips against mine. Like...determined to take my breath away. I imagined your skin, bare, and you let me touch you. All over you. That's all I think about."
Adrik: Adrik hummed at that, and he placed a firm hand on the back of Vincent's neck. His thumb traced circles just below Vincent's ear.
"You wish to be held down? Perhaps tied?" He suggested, more for clarification. He was going to ask about choking, which what Vincent described, but that didn't feel quite right. Not yet. "You wish to touch me, naked, and however you please?" He smiled again and nuzzled into Vincent's hair.
"You need only ask. We may do these things, and more. I wish to satisfy your desires, however simple."
Vincent: Not an utterance as his neck was held. His eyes closed, sighed with enjoyment. But his brow furrowed at Adrik's suggestions.
"Am I being held ransom? Why would I want to be tied?" What followed in Adrik's exploration put a smile on his face.
"Touch me all over. I'll touch you all over. I won't bore! I won't even get tired. I still have months to make up for."
Adrik: Adrik laughed at that, making his chest shake. "No no. It is... about giving up one’s control. Trusting their partner with that control. Some people find it arousing, some enjoy the helplessness, some enjoy being overpowered. But not all." He shrugged and hummed as he nuzzled into Vincent's hair.
"We may definitely do those things. You may explore however you wish, and I will you."
Vincent: "I trust you to fight for my life, but I don't want to be bound. I love being underneath you. Does that count?"
Those nuzzles could put him to sleep, if he allowed himself to relax enough.
Adrik: "Mmmm. That could count," Adrik shrugged. He figured that was close enough to the point he was trying to make.
He chuckled again. "You are an odd one."
Vincent: "I am an odd bird, but why do you say that?"
Adrik: "Most have specific fantasies. Things they want to try. You do not, and it amuses me."
Vincent: "What are your fantasies?"
Adrik: "Hmmm..." Adrik hummed softly, "I typically enjoy satisfying the desires of my lovers. When I would have them. Before you I had not had any in many years."
Vincent: "Just the satisfaction of other people? You want for nothing?"
Adrik: "Generally, yes," be hummed softly. "I want for some things, but the satisfaction of my partner is the core of my desire." He paused and let his fingers trail down Vincent's spine. "Mmm... I do think you would look beautiful tied up. Shibari is a type of rope work that can simply be artful or aesthetic, but it can also be useful."
Vincent: "What if I tied you up?" Vincent grinned. The idea did not appeal to him, but in the spirit of doing things to please someone else, was that not the point? Sex, from his perspective, had to be mutual in all things. Simple and with emotion. What Adrik spoke of seemed outside of the realm of lovemaking. But Adrik had only spoke of selflessness until the rope. If Adrik could satisfy others for the sake of their satisfaction, so too could Vincent.
Adrik: Adrik laughed at that, a low rumble that vibrated through chest.
"I do not think I would enjoy that. I enjoy control- rope tends to involve the relinquishing of it." He kissed the top of Vincent's head. "But if it was of interest to you, I would let you try something decorative. There are instructional books, videos online, and so on."
Vincent: "You already have my satisfaction." His chin came to rest on the bear's chest. "Do I have yours? Am I enough without rope and restraint?"
Adrik: "Of course," Adrik smiled and reached up to cup Vincent's cheek. "You are always satisfaction enough for me. I do not need anything, or anyone else."
Vincent: "Do you think or anyone else? From your past. Do you dream of someone bound with pretty rope?" Nothing accusatory in his tone. Only curiosity.
Adrik: Adrik tilted his head as he thought about it. Then he shook his head.
"If I have thought of anyone bound in rope, it is you," he smiled again, "there are some fond memories I revisit when I am feeling nostalgic, but nothing outside of that."
Vincent: "Any you can tell a bird?" Vincent grinned.
Adrik: "Hmmm...." Adrik hummed thoughtfully, and a small smile tugged at his lips. "A young man with beautifully dark skin that I bound in a lovely, violet pastel rope. He was very sweet, very sensitive, and very fun to tease. He had...prepared himself for me. It was a memorable evening."
Vincent: "Prepared himself?" Vincent tried to imagine. Adrik was a gentle beast, but what was he like with others? He wanted to know, but he also didn't care to know a thing.
Adrik: "Mhmm..." Adrik nodded. "There are some who enjoy large things inside of them, and as you know, it is difficult to take one of my size without... practice. It always difficult, but there are ways to prepare and make it easier. Using toys to size up in slower increments, and such."
Vincent: "Oh." More thought, eyes forward but nowhere. Those wheels were turning.
"Should I do that?"
Adrik: Adrik paused and glanced down at Vincent. "It would not be a bad idea. It would make penetration easier for you. Perhaps less... overwhelming. I will say this again, penetration is not necessary for us to be intimate. You do not have to do this is you do not enjoy it."
Vincent: "I enjoyed what we did...when we did that." Everything else afterward had been just as fulfilling, but still. Another question loomed.
"Could I...? For you. Inside you."
Adrik: It was a relief for Adrik to hear Vincent had enjoyed it. He knew he was... a lot to handle on a good day.
Adrik stiffened at Vincent's next question.
"I... do not know. I have no desire to be penetrated, and such a position does not usually offer control." He gave Vincent's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "But for you, I would consider it- at least."
Vincent: "I'd be gentle," he felt compelled to reassure. "I've never done that in this form. Not ever. I want to, once."
Vincent snuggled back into Adrik's chest and closed his eyes.
Adrik: Adrik chuckled softly.
"I know you would," he rumbled and kissed the top of Vincent's head. "I will consider this." Then he paused. "You have done this in your other form?"
Vincent: "I lived a full life between Mirkwood and Esgaroth. I knew nothing else. Had a mate. Many chicks. Are you surprised?"
Adrik: Adrik tilted his head to the side, and he watched his fingers as they gently tousled Vincent's hair.
"A little," he smiled and chuckled, "to think you fathered young, that amuses me."
Vincent: "I didn't plan on having arms and hair and teeth," he laughed. "They never knew hunger. Outside of, you know, perpetual hunger little ones have."
Adrik: "Mmm, that they do," Adrik rumbled. "You would make a good father. An odd one," he teased affectionately, "but good. You must have been diligent, to raise many chicks with your mate."
Vincent: "It was a simpler life, with elves, dragons, and ents. My babies enjoyed berries and snails. We would sing. We would watch the trials and tribulations of fur creatures and men."
Adrik: "It sounds lovely," Adrik smiled, and his hand settled at the back of Vincent's neck again, where his thumb traced small circles. "I have never raised cubs, but have always wanted to..." He paused. "Do you miss your mate?"
Vincent: "I don't think about her. Maybe one day I'll return and it'll be as though I never left. Maybe I'll be hundreds of years beyond her time and witness my lineage. I can't do anything about it."
Vincent nuzzled in. "... That you remember."
Adrik: Adrik was quiet for a time, and he stared up at the ceiling above them as his fingers teased into the neck of Vincent's shirt and began to rub between his shoulders. "This is true..." He said after a pause, and part of that thought saddened him. A whole family of his own, without him as he had no knowledge of them... It was sad, in multiple ways.
Vincent: "I think about that, more than I think about my mate. I think about your memories. I think about what Charles could do for you. What a witch might do for you. Or some Fera. Anyone."
Adrik: Adrik fell quiet again, and his fingers teased into the hair at the nape of Vincent's neck.
"And if they cannot?" Adrik asked softly. "What if there is nothing to discover? Nothing to help? What if I was a different man then? Who would that make me now, if I found him again?"
Would you still love me?
He was afraid of the unknown. If he was not content with this- with what he had now- what if that malcontent ruined what was most important to him?
Adrik fell silent again, his gaze glued to the ceiling as his hand stilled.
Vincent: "Memories shape everything; what you have now wouldn't vanish. You'd have both. Both are Adrik."
That's what he would like to believe, and so he would. Memories were a means to mold. The material was the same no matter the shape.
The silence stretched between them. The bird slowly lulled by the bear's warmth, teetering on unconsciousness.
Adrik: With all of his heart, Adrik wanted to believe it too. Unfortunately, Adrik knew life's ability to be cruel and unkind rather intimately. His first memory- waking up in a pool of his own blood beside a dead man- as a start, was enough for him to know it probably wasn't his first hardship. He was smart enough to know it wouldn't be his last.
Adrik looked down at Vincent, and quietly watched him drift towards sleep.
"I hope so little bird, I hope so," he murmured to himself, before his gaze fixated on the ceiling once more. The. He closed his eyes and let the sleepiness take him as well.
Adrik was very much a non-verbal individual before meeting Vincent. Any time he did speak it was short and to the point, and if he had the chance to respond with a nod, tilt, or shake of his head, he would. He often made people uncomfortable with how little he spoke, and it made him appear cold and distant. His expressions were about as diverse as his word choices as well, so he often appeared disinterested with those around him, when really he was more of a listener/observer. Once a person took the time to get to know him he’d open up and speak more freely, but really he was just the type to choose his words very carefully. So when he did speak it meant it was important.
Now- Adrik is more verbal. Why? Because of Vincent. He’s still pretty silent around strangers, but if they know Vincent, or he knows them personally, he speaks far more freely. He’s also become more expressive since meeting Vincent. Again- in certain company, but when Vincent is around, he’s like a little buffer for Adrik with the world. Vincent can do the talking for him, and with encouragement from Vincent he’ll chime in where he normally wouldn’t.
Adrik: Truth! Do you feel that Vincent has matured since you first met him? Is that what you want?
“Vincent, matured?” Adrik chuckled a low vibration through his chest. “No, he is as childish as ever,” his smile is subtle, but genuine. “Perhaps Vincent is a little... more reighned in? But that is not saying much, and that is not a bad thing.
I am glad my words did not change him, for those were words of a skeptical man, one afraid of an attachment with someone so young. Why should he waste his time on one such as me? There are many who would find him attractive and desirable, who would entertain his wildest fancy, yet he waited for me during my travels.
He waited for an old bear who gave him barely a promise of return, and yet his joy was not to be subdued. I prefer Vincent just as he is.”
