Coming back for more
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Matt Holt/Keith Summary: After mulling over the pros and cons of accepting his fate, Keith made his choice. Prompts Used: Bitter, Sweet, Going Out, First @vldrarepairweek A/N: Part 1 Or read from the beginning on Ao3.
After the revelation, Keith hardly attempted to make another move. There were no drastic turns or sudden confessions in the midst. (He sucked at them anyways.) It didn't help that Keith didn't exactly grow up with having heart-to-heart conversations all willy-nilly. His father did his best with their circumstances that they were dealt with; that, and they were both awkward people when it came down to talking about their feelings. Emotions were never a problem, it was just that sometimes it was hard to find the right phases and words to use. Besides, he learned that actions were louder than words.
Having to come into terms of falling in love was already a huge step for him. For someone like Keith, it was both scary and exciting to see how there were still so much he needed to experience. He was still confused about how crushes worked, so that naturally led him to stop himself early on before anything horrible could have happened. Keith had learned to be cautious to the unknown. It was the only way to survive. In the matters of love, it felt like a natural step too. To wait and watch his environment before treading off recklessly.
So, he did his best to continue doing his homework like normal with Shiro and Matt. Resumed on working with trying to get Matt to up his stamina (though it could never really compare to Keith’s or Shiro’s.) Stumble when Matt did something cute (which was happening a little too often for his heart to handle), and attempt to maintain his feelings in check before someone would notice how much Matt affected him. It was a stressful kind of living; having to fend off these emotions that endlessly wouldn’t stop. Having these kinds of thoughts scared him the way they were coming off strong. It made Keith feel like an animal; the way he couldn’t escape this new reality.
Every day was a new battle. Where Keith would have to prove to himself that a crush wouldn’t stop him from living. To have a spark of hope that maybe one day he’ll see Matt as a friend again and not something that could crash his world. It didn’t look like it would work the way his heart couldn’t stop itself. Especially how Matt proved to him every day that he was the missing link of his life. (The one that made Keith truly happy to witness these new kinds of developments.)
The world didn’t revolve on falling in love; it was just one aspect. His father had told him that countless of times. But that didn’t mean that his father ever downed played love, but there was a truth in there. Love was an important piece, to live, to experience and protect. However, there were other sides that needed to be prioritize too. Like the will to adapt to survive any environment and circumstance, to continue the road of curiosity and learn all the little secrets life has to offer.
From all the short years Keith has lived through, he was now in this new side where it was colliding with his past.
One where Keith was beginning to explore. To feel how truly vulnerable, he could be. To see how far he could reach and how far he dared to fall. It was a maze that was uncharted; something that he was sure his classmates had already gone through when he stubbornly tried to stay away. Doing nothing was a safe current, a spot where Keith hardly ever stayed when he felt like he could go beyond. Like getting to know Matt was never in the plan, but it still came into his face. Now Keith had to check all the paths and feel the current push back and forth with ease, tension and uncertainty.
Keith almost wanted to throw up. But he didn’t. Thankfully.
It was actually a funny thing, the way his life was turning around. When one day he was mulling over his options of just doing nothing and then having Shiro come into the picture uncharacteristically.
“Do you want some help?” Keith frowned in confusion making Shiro explain himself, “I can get Matt alone with you so you can confess.”
His brain processed the words. “I thought you liked him.”
Shiro chuckled, “I do.” He started but quickly reassured him. “But not the same way you like him.”
“I don’t know.”
Shiro patted his back, “Okay. It was just a passing thought. If you ever change your mind…”
He left it in the air.
With all his thoughts racing Keith barely had any time to calm down as Matt sat down at their usual table for lunch. He asked about the atmosphere, making Keith stuttered while Shiro made a lame diversion Keith couldn’t bother to remember. All that was stuck inside his skull was the knowledge that he wasn’t as smooth as he thought he was. It was quite the opposite; having Shiro along the ride didn’t exactly sit well with him once the mortification settled in. Because it made him concede that his fears of being an open book could actually exist. That, and Keith seriously needed to upgrade his poker face.
Once his stomach ached less with having Shiro aboard, and Keith being more open with his own feelings he started to feel like there was room to wiggle a new future. One where maybe it was possible to have Matt glance at him with tenderness that would hopefully be only reserved for him alone. It was a start, that was all he could really say on the matter. With the way, Keith was feeling like a ping pong with his emotions going through a roller-coaster. Especially the way he bid all his hope into this new chapter that was manifesting in front of him.
It started out small; like catching Matt off guard with more secret smiles for him to only witness. Or becoming more willing to be Matt’s rag doll when they sparred while allowing small physical touches to last longer than he would have usually accepted. To give him more access to stepping into his own domain. They were all starting to add up, making Keith more nervous the way Matt walked forward without giving his own hint that he understood what Keith was trying to tell him
So, in those failed efforts he quickly asked him out to hangout on a weekend when he knew Shiro would be “busy” and when he was sure Matt had already spent a day with his family to be satisfied. Where once the weekend was rolling by slowly that he could squeeze in time to be with Keith. It was like a perfect chance to get alone and almost personal with him. When he was given a green light with their plans Keith almost felt like he could explode. (He was extremely happy that his poker face was improving as he tried to play it off.) That and Shiro was like a great brother to shield him from others catching a whiff on Keith’s romantic life.
Walking around the closest town with Matt was almost surreal. For most of his garrison days he was used seeing Matt in only in his uniform, now with this new image Keith couldn’t help but feel his skin start to warm up. (And he knew he couldn’t blame the weather for it. Not entirely at least.) He was happy that they had enough topics to go around that made him less tense as the hours spilled out. Joking around him was easy, getting closer was the same.
Having Matt this close was like a dream.
When they finished a movie, and were walking back to the bus to take them back to the garrison, Keith could have sworn the street lights accented Matt’s eyes perfectly. Almost like it was giving him a sign that his mouth should open and for syllables to form. To explain how his body was hyper aware of Matt’s laugh affecting him. It was too good to pass the way it felt so right to confess. He didn’t know why he paused, or how Matt knew something was up with him. All Keith knew was that when he paused he made sure that he was in front of Matt, his hands came out from his pockets, they were practically searching for a spot—any spot to hover. To make the right impression or at least the right atmosphere.
His ears picked up the way his heart throbbed, how he took a deep breath and whispered. “Matt…is it okay?”
He wasn’t sure what he was asking him. To confess? Maybe. To kiss him? Probably that one. Either way he inwardly cursed of his current height compared to Matt's. It forced him to look up and tip toe a little higher so then his face could reach Matt’s.
He barely heard Matt’s voice over his loud heart. “Yes.”
He didn’t waste a second; he brushed his lips with Matt’s. It was instantaneously, wanting to stay in that precise moment and never move. To imprint in this spot of having this giddy feeling of a mutual confession permanently inside his memories. However, he knew that he would eventually have to pull away. When he opened his eyes, and grounded his feet he couldn’t help but feel his face burn hotter the way Matt’s eyes were watching carefully and with amusement.
He sheepishly smiled, “Sorry it took me awhile to figure out what you were trying to say.”
Keith shrugged his shoulders nonchalant, “So long as you got the message, it’s okay.”
