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Beloved Part 2

I dont know why this happened, but I’m weak, love my baby Violet, and yes, I stayed up until 3 am writing this mkay so feedback would be appreciated. Also please tell me what you think about the donation/commission thing I mentioned before. Thanks!

Taking care of a baby was hard work. Keith was tempted to say it was even harder than being in war. For the first few weeks, Keith and Lance had been terrified to hurt Violet when changing her diaper, her clothes, when bathing her, burping her. Lance had a little more experience from having taken care of his siblings, but it had been a long time since he took care of a baby, so he was still hesitant.

After a few months, Keith got used to it and managed to be a little more confident in taking care of his daughter. Lance’s favorite thing was putting her to sleep and watching her breathe and smile from whatever she was dreaming. Keith’s favorite thing was feeding her because she would place her hand on Keith’s and make the cutest little sounds as she drank her bottle.

Pidge and Hunk were able to create a few soft toys for her to grip and fascinate herself with. Coran had managed to sew blankets together to make a quilt for Violet so she could lay on the floor and work on lifting her head. Allura liked getting the mice to perform for her, watching her purple eyes flit and follow the colorful critters.

When Violet was almost six months old, and able to sit up on her own with a slight support on her back, Keith began switching out with Shiro on missions. The first time he left Violet was the hardest, but he was more determined than ever to get back. When Violet was ten months, she began lifting herself up and standing while holding something for balance. With Hunk’s help, she was given a healthy diet of foods to nibble on. With Pidge’s, she was learning to differentiate colors even if she couldn’t say them.

When Violet turned a year old, a small party was thrown before an attack caused them to leave Violet in a special bunker made to keep her safe while Shiro and Coran stayed behind in the control room with one eye on the monitor in the bunker. That battle resulted in Lance getting injured so badly, he spent the night in the cryopod. When he got out the next day, Keith took him to rest in bed. Before he fell asleep, he asked Keith to marry him. Keith said yes.

Then Violet began walking. And she began talking. Suddenly she was three. Then five.

Now she was six. The team was coming back from another battle and Violet was rushing out of her bunker to hold on to her parents for the next hour. When the team came back, Violet barely managed a greeting to her aunts and uncle. She just needed her fathers.

She ran until she managed to leap onto Keith, wrapping her arms around his neck. She looked up in search of Lance who was already coming up behind them. She reached out and burrowed her face between them. “I’m so happy you’re safe,” she whispered with a trembling voice.

Keith held on to her and sighed, running his hands through her unruly curls. “We’re okay. We’re okay, buttercup.”

“Come here, princesa,” Lance murmured, pulling her into his arms.

He peppered her cheeks with kisses and she squirmed, smiling for the first time since the alarms went off. “Papi, your beard itches!” she giggled. Keith smirked and took Lance’s hand as they left to change out of their armor. “Why do you always have to go fight?” she asked, playing with a doll they’d gotten from the Space Mall.

“Well that’s what happens in a war,” Lance said, pulling her into his lap. “You have to fight a lot for a long time.”

“But why does it have to be you and Daddy and Aunt Pidge and Aunt Lura and Uncle Hunk and-”

“Well,” Keith interrupted with a chuckle, “We’re the ones the lions chose. We’ve told you the story of finding the lions and meeting your nino and Allura. We told you about finding the lions.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But I get scared.”

Lance kissed her forehead and scratched behind one of her ears, causing it to flick. “I know, mi nina. We get scared too.” Keith gave him a warning look that Lance pretended he didn’t see. “Go see if Nino wants to draw with you while we get out of the gear, okay? Then we can make some cookies.”

She nodded and bounded off the bed before leaving the room. When the door shut, Keith looked at Lance. “We get scared too? Lance, we’re her parents.”

“Yes, so we should be honest with her,” he answered, crossing his arms as Keith removed his armor and changed into more comfortable clothes.

“Not about that!” Keith ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Look, she’s young, to her we’re invincible-”

“And what happens the day one of us can’t come back? I’d rather she know we’re not invincible and teach her to be smart and to cherish every moment she has with us than let her think nothing will ever happen to us and never be able to explain why one day we might not come back.” Keith grit his teeth and stared at him. Lance took a moment to change before facing Keith. “I know you want her to have this picture-perfect family you didn’t have, and you want her to stay innocent, but we’re at war, Keith.”

Keith covered his face with his hands and plopped onto the bed. Lance wrapped his arms around him and held him close. “I didn’t want this for her, Lance. I thought we’d be home by now.”

“I know, baby,” he whispered. “But we have to help her understand these things. It’s what would be best for her.” He sighed and leaned into him. “Come on. We have cookies to make with our daughter.” He tilted Keith’s face toward him and kissed him.

They left the room and found Violet sprawled on the floor doodling next to Coran. As Keith and Lance got closer, she scrambled to hide her drawings and shoved them into Coran’s hands. “Hide them, hide them!” she whispered. Coran chuckled and held her drawings near. “Papi, Daddy, can we make cookies now?”

After a few failed attempts to make cookies, Hunk ended up taking over while Violet tried to get Pidge to play with her.

“I’m sorry, munchkin, I would but my leg is hurt. See?” Violet peeked over and looked at the ice pack Pidge had taped around her leg since they got back. Violet sighed and nodded, walking away with dramatic slowness.

Keith smiled and followed her until she turned and looked at him with a somber expression. “Hey, buttercup. What do you say I take you into the training room?” Her eyes lit up. Keith hadn’t taken her to the training room before. He was always worried she’d hurt herself. He thought she was too small to start handling weapons, but he hated how sad she looked with nothing to do.

“Really?” He nodded and took her hand, leading her to the training room. “Are you gonna teach me to use your knife?”

Keith laughed and ruffled her hair. “Not yet. That’s a little too dangerous.” She deflated and Keith turned her so he could put her hair up in a quick bun. “But I can teach you to fight, if you want.”

“Then I can go with you to fight! And I can help!” Keith felt his heart drop, but he tried not to let his face show the amount of fear and pain those sentences gave him. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and gestured to the mat.

“Okay, first you need to stretch. That way you don’t get hurt.” They went through a few stretches and exercises before Keith handed her a long wooden stick. He grabbed his own and stood beside her, showing her defensive moves, blocking methods, and attacks. She jumped excitedly each time after she managed to mimic her father’s movements.

“Okay, okay, I wanna fight now. Come on, Daddy let’s fight!” She pulled his arm and turned to him, holding her staff like he’d taught her. Keith smiled and began offering feeble attacks that Violet blocked and fought against with fervor. Keith smiled as he watched her fight and work so hard. His heart swelled with pride and he chuckled as he stepped back.

Violet was breathing heavily and Keith offered her a high-five. “That was really good, buttercup. You’re a fast learner. Let’s go find Papa and show him what you learned.” He leaned down to carry her and kissed her cheek.

“Daddy, if we’re both Galra, how come you don’t have ears like me?”

Keith bit his lip and pondered how to answer. When Violet was four, she’d asked why her ears were different from her fathers’. It helped to have Allura and Coran there to show her that others had different ears too. She didn’t know that it was the Galra they had been fighting for the last several years. The team had begun referring to the Galra as “the enemy” or “the empire.” Keith had only told her they both shared alien blood.

Now, he had to figure out how to explain why he didn’t look more like her when they both had alien blood without explaining how he was able to hold her in his own body. He sighed and looked at her. “Well, a lot of people look different from their parents. My mom was Galra but I look more like my dad. I only have different eyes. It’s all science stuff. You got the ears and my eyes. But you look a lot like Papa.” He touched her nose and she smiled, leaning into him.

“Will I ever meet my grandmas and grandpas? And the aunts and uncles Papi tells me about?”

Keith sighed and thought about what Lance said when it came to be honest. “I don’t really know, kiddo. I hope so though.” She hummed, but didn’t ask anything else.

“Mis tesoros!” Lance cooed when he saw them coming back.

“Papito! Guess what? Daddy taught me to fight!” She squirmed away from Keith and toward Lance, excitedly explaining what she’d been taught.

Later in the day, Violet was pacing around the room restlessly. The constant patter of steps eventually made Lance burst. “Violet, please stop walking around and sit down,” he sighed.

“But I’m bored!” she whined.

“Then find something to do,” he said. “Draw, or write, or learn something-”

“I don’t wanna!”

“Do not yell at me,” Lance warned in a low voice, crossing his arms. Keith sighed and rubbed his head. Suddenly he heard sniffles and cries.

He looked up and saw Violet crying, her face red and wet. “What did you do to her?” Keith snapped, walking over to her.

“I didn’t do anything,” Lance muttered. “Violet, stop crying. No one’s yelling or hurting you.” She mumbled something unintelligible and Lance sighed and leaned down. “What? I can’t understand you when you’re crying like that. Look at me. Violet Esperanza, I said look at me.” Violet’s bright purple eyes flitted to him. “Now I need you to take two deep breaths.” She did. “Now speak clearly.”

Her face contorted again and more tears fell. She looked down and mumbled, “I said s’not fair.”

“What’s not fair?” Keith asked gently.

“That I’m the only kid,” she said with a quiver in her voice. “I don’t have no one to play with and I’m always by myself because everyone’s big or busy. It’s not fair! I want a little sister to play with!” As she spoke, her voice rose and she began crying again, hiding her face.

Lance stood up and stared at Keith, dumbfounded. Keith looked pale. He glanced at Lance and they both seemed at a loss.

Suddenly Allura came in with Coran behind her. “Why is Violet crying?” she asked.

“Um… well… apparently she wants a sibling,” Lance choked.

“Ah, so she told you,” Coran chuckled.

“What?” Coran dug into his pocket and held out some folded papers. Keith took them and unfolded them. He saw bubble figures of two girls covering each page. Playing games, playing tag, standing with Keith and Lance. The word: “sistr” was written over the smaller girl with the second s backwards. “Oh God,” Keith breathed.

“Vi, since when have you been feeling like this?” Lance asked, his voice softer than before. She shrugged and sniffled. “Aw, princesa, I know it can get lonely. But it’s hard enough to keep you safe right now.”

She nodded and looked down. She wiped her nose and walked away, leaving her parents to process what they’d learned. “She wants a sister?”

“Well, it makes sense. She’s the only child, she gets bored,” Allura pointed out.

“It makes sense, but it’s not… it’s not an option right now. For one, the pain was unreal. Having Lance leave all the time made me anxious beyond belief. And having to leave behind two kids? To protect two children from all of this?” Keith shook his head and rubbed his face. “This is just….”

“Really fucked up?” Lance suggested. Keith nodded. “Could we get a moment?” Lance asked the Alteans. They nodded and left. Lance walked over to Keith and ran his hand through Keith’s hair. “Can I ask you something?” Keith hummed. “If there was no war…. Would you want another kid?”

Keith looked up and sighed. “I mean…. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I love Violet so much, and I know now that I can do this. That we can do this. And we’re married now. I want Violet to be happy more than anything, I’d love to raise her in a family of siblings like you were. But there is a war. And we’re on the frontlines. Every single time we leave, she holds back tears. Each time we come back, I can feel her shaking in my arms. I don’t want to bring another child into this.”

Lance nodded and wrapped his arms around Keith. “I know. Violet happened… out of nowhere. And I know that each time something happens, you feel guilty for bringing her into this kind of life. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I don’t regret having her,” he insisted.

“I didn’t say that,” Lance said gently. “I’m just saying… Violet was a surprise. A new baby… well we’d be prepared. We would plan.” Keith raised an eyebrow. “I just… I don’t know if it’s healthy for her to grow up so isolated. She has no one to interact with besides a handful of adults.”

“A baby shouldn’t be a solution, Lance. It should be… something we just want. Not a suggestion from a six year old or a way to socialize her.” Keith sighed and shook his head. “I just wish this war was over.”

Lance interlaced their fingers. “I know. You’re right. But we need to do something about Violet.” Keith scoffed and looked at the ceiling. What the hell had happened to their lives?

***

In the span of a few weeks, Violet had slowly become slightly withdrawn, quieter. Keith could see it in her eyes; she was upset. She was lonely.

One night when Lance was braiding her hair before they tucked her into bed, Keith sat in front of her and took her hands. “I know you’re sad, buttercup. And I wish I could change that. We’re in a war, and it wouldn’t be safe to have another baby right now.”

“I know, Daddy,” she sighed.

“You know, you’re still lucky. Even without a sibling.” She frowned and looked up at him. Lance’s hands hesitated as his eyes drifted over to Keith. “When I was little, my mom went away. She left me with just my dad. And then I lost him too. I was all alone for a long time. I didn’t have anyone to talk to or play with. I became angry and it became hard for me to talk with people.” Lance snorted, but Keith ignored it. “And then, I went to a school for pilots and I met Uncle Shiro. He became like my big brother. And then he got lost.”

Violet gasped. “Twice,” Lance added. Violet looked between them wide eyed. Keith nodded, confirming it. “Did you know Daddy and I didn’t like each other when we first met?” Violet frowned and tilted her head. “We were always fighting, getting mad at each other, making fun of each other.”

“But it was just because I was so used to being alone,” Keith said. “I was scared that everyone was going to leave me if I let anyone close. I didn’t really know how to love someone or what it was like to be loved.” He tugged lightly on Violet’s hair. “But you have two daddies that love you very much.”

“And aunts and uncles that love playing with you. You know, when you still weren’t born yet, Uncle Hunk said he was going to be your favorite uncle.”

Violet giggled. “And you have a Nino who would do anything to keep you safe.” Keith pinched her cheek playfully and smiled at her. “So… even though we can’t have a big family like Papa, you’re still a very lucky little girl. Because you have people who love you so much and who want to protect you.”

Violet looked down and nodded. “Yeah. I’m lucky.” She pulled herself onto her knees and hugged her fathers in turn. “I love you,” she whispered.

“We love you too, preciosa. Now get into bed and go to sleep.” Lance leaned over and kissed her forehead. Keith followed suit before leaving her room. Lance wrapped an arm around him and sighed. “That was good,” he murmured.

“I thought it would help her to know.” They reached their room and settled in to sleep. Keith like sleeping on his stomach while Lance preferred to sleep on his side. The cuddle days were over. Now it was just a matter of not tossing Lance over the side of the bed for snoring too loud. Still, every morning they managed to wake up with their legs tangled together.

The following day, the team was set out to help a planet that had been nearly completely destroyed by a Galra attack. It was free of any Galra trace, and after the realization that Violet needed to be socialized, Keith was considering taking her with them.

“You want to take Violet onto the planet?” Shiro questioned. He’d decided to vocalize his suggestion while Violet was playing in another room.

“It’s supposed to be safe, right?” Keith pointed out. It was already going against his better judgement. But he couldn’t keep Violet cooped up in the lion castle for another six years. “I want her to see some of the children. Make friends.”

“These families are hurt, Keith. They’ve been attacked. It might be too much for her.”

“Staying in a bunker until we come back isn’t right. This isn’t a fight, she won’t be in danger. If anything happens, I can get her into the lion to keep her safe.” Keith sighed and looked at Lance. “What do you think?”

Lance bit his lip and shrugged. “I want her to experience things. But this might not be the best way to start.”

“If I may,” Coran said, holding a finger up. “Perhaps you’re underestimating young Violet. She knows that we’re at war, she understands quite a lot for a small mind. Why not warn her, take her, and if it’s upsetting, someone brings her back?”

Lance and Keith shared a look, coming to an agreement before taking a deep breath. “Allura, is there any way we can get armor small enough for her?”

She nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.” She excused herself and left the group.

Meanwhile, Keith and Lance went to find Violet. When she saw them, she tilted her head and sighed. “Are you leaving again?”

“Not yet,” Keith murmured. “Come here.” She stood and walked over, looking at them with wide, curious eyes. “We were thinking that maybe you might be old enough to come with us.”

“Really?” she gasped. “Do I get my own lion?”

Lance chuckled and shook his head. “No, there’s only five lions. But before we do take you, we want to explain what things you might see.” She frowned. “Some of it is really scary.”

“Like what?”

“Like… someone crying because someone they love got hurt or died.”

“Or some who are very hurt and scared so they might look scary or say things that can scare you.”

Violet frowned and looked down at her hands. “You know how Uncle Shiro has a robot arm?” Keith asked. She nodded. “Well that’s because something happened to his human arm and it was replaced. Sometimes we see things like that too, but we can’t help them replace it.”

“Some of them could be sick.” Lance pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s things that little kids shouldn’t see.”

“I can do it,” she said. She looked up with a look of determination that mirrored the one Keith was known for. Filled with stubborn certainty and defiance. “I’m brave. I can help them too.”

Keith smiled and pushed her hair back. “I thought you’d say something like that.”

“Well, she is your daughter,” Lance said with a smile.

***

The smallest armor was still about two sizes too big for Violet, but she kept assuring everyone that it was fine, that she could walk and see and everything. The castle ship landed on the planet and the paladins exited. Violet stood between her parents, and looked out with wide eyes.

The planet was a murky green color. Its inhabitants were humanoid, with webbed hands and feet, They were dressed in what looked like plants. There were piles of technology that were steaming, broken. The inhabitants, the Malkae, were laying down in rows of mats. Others were walking among them, distributing salves and wraps. Children were in clusters, some crying, some sleeping, some doing nothing.

At the sight of the paladins, many of the Malkae struggled to sit up and look at them, murmuring in a smooth, melodic language. Keith felt a slight pressure against his leg. He looked down and saw Violet looking at a Melkae child with a missing leg and a wrap around their arm. Keith wondered if she wanted to go back, but before he could lean down to ask, she stepped forward and sat on the ground next to the child.

“Do you speak English? Or Spanish? Or Altean?” The child sat up and looked at her. “I’m Violet. Who are you?”

“Noriu,” he murmured. “I speak your tongue.” Violet smiled. “You’re a paladin?”

Violet looked down at her armor and shook her head. “No. But my daddies are.” She pointed back and Keith smiled, looking at Lance for a second. “They said I could come with them to help today. Do you want help?”

Noriu shook his head. “No. I can’t do anything anymore. I don’t have a leg.”

“You can still do lots of things!” she said. She stood up, lifting one leg and hopped around in a circle. “You can jump everywhere and you’ll have the best balance. Or you can cartwheel. Aunt Pidge taught me how, look.” She lunged forward to do a cartwheel, then toppled halfway through when her helmet slid off. She plopped down on the floor and looked at the Melkae child. Then they both burst into laughter, causing many adults to look over.

Lance pressed a hand to Keith’s arm. “Let’s go help others. She’s okay.”

For a while, the paladins went down the rows, helping with healing or feeding or finding supplies. They were scattered, and Violet often drifted to find them, greeting Melkae as she passed with a shy smile. Children began to flock to her, at least those who could move from their places. And Violet seemed excited at the sight of so many children near her age. They began playing a game, holding hands and twirling in a circle, taking turns turning backwards and giggling. Keith smiled and continued to work on a Melkae woman with a severe wound in her middle.

“She’s yours?” the womn whispered hoarsely. Keith nodded with a timid smile. “She looks like you.”

Keith looked over at Violet, the only child without webbed hands, but she didn’t seem fazed at all. She’d helped Noriu hop over to the group and was telling the others to be careful with his arm. Her hair had frizzed out of her braids and half of her armor had fallen off, leaving her in shorts and her favorite shirt. “Ah, she looks more like her Papa. The paladin in blue.” The woman glanced over at Lance and smiled.

“She looks like both of you.” Keith smiled and tried to clean out her wound. “It’s been a long time since I heard children’s laughter.”

“You don’t have children?” Keith asked gently.

She nodded. “I do.” She gestured. “The one with a limp and the one behind her like a shadow.” Keith looked over and saw the children she was referring to. The oldest had a protective stance in front of the youngest. The youngest looked like a toddler.

“Can I ask you something? As a parent?” She nodded and winced slightly as Keith began bandaging her. “Sorry. Um…. When we had Violet, it was… unexpected. And now that I have her, I love her more than anything. I have no doubt that I would do anything for her. But when I look at the devastation, the length of this war… I wonder…. Sometimes, I think….” Keith sighed and shut his eyes. He looked at Violet and furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m not sure if I did the right thing bringing her into a place filled with violence and war and loneliness. And when I think that… I feel horrible, like-”

The woman put a hand on his and gave him a strained smile, softened by her luminescent eyes. “You can’t shield children from everything. You didn’t do a bad thing by giving her life. You did something… wonderful. For you, for those around you. Look.” Keith looked at where she pointed. Violet was sitting with the children in front of a Melkae who was animatedly performing tricks for them. “She’s brought joy to Melkae who haven’t smiled in deca-phoebs. She’s given you reason to fight. Reason to be strong. She’s given you strength.”

Keith looked at his daughter and thought back to the day he’d found out he was pregnant. How appalled he was, how terrified, how angry he’d felt. He remembered the day he felt her kick, the day she was born and the day she called for him for the first time. How every single one of those moments gave him a break from the terror of war and made every fight worth it. He had been reckless before, quick to act and attack. Now, he was smarter. He had a reason to stay alive, to get back in one piece. He’d felt love in ways he’d never thought possible with Lance and his space family and of course Violet. All that love had given him strength and reason to not give up in this fight.

“I was afraid when I knew I’d have another child. She’s only two deca-phoebs. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to protect her. If I could protect them both.” Keith looked over at the children and saw that Violet was next to Hunk as he worked on making a make-shift crutch for one of the elderly Melkae. When he was done, he handed it to Violet who raced to give it to the one who needed it and smiled brightly, speaking what must have been encouragements. He looked at the other children and saw the two that belonged to the woman together, the small one clinging to the older one’s back like a koala. “But now, I know they protect each other. They have each other. They can play together when they’re scared, and they give me hope. And even if something happens to me, I know they’ll have each other.” Keith bit his lip and looked at the children. “Children bring hope for peace in the future, paladin. Perhaps your daughter will be the one who finds an end to this war. Or perhaps she’ll pave the way for it. Don’t feel guilty for not being able to control what happens in the universe.”

Keith looked back at her and nodded. “Thank you. You should rest. Your wound will take time to heal.” He stood and smiled before leaving her to tend to others.

When the light of day was fading, the paladins began making in large portions to distribute among the Melkae. Violet was walking with a smaller child and Noriu, talking and laughing. When most of the rubble had been cleared and the food distributed, Lance went to get Violet so the team could get back to the castle.

The entire day, Keith had been thinking about what the Melkae woman said. He hadn’t known her name, but what she’d said soothed him. He felt calmer somehow.

When they put her to bed, Lance kissed her forehead and smiled. “You did really good today, pequena. Made a lot of them smile.”

Violet smiled. “I made friends. I hope I see them again.” She looked down, and Keith tried not to show shock at her words. “Goodnight, Papi. Goodnight, Daddy.”

“Goodnight, buttercup. I love you.” They shut the door to the room and walked back to the room. Lance took Keith’s hand, the silence settling comfortably. They often needed that after long days like the one they’d had. When they got to their room and settled in for bed, Keith stared at the ceiling.

Lance’s hand slipped into his. “You okay, mi amor?” Keith nodded slowly. “What are you thinking?”

Keith took a deep breath and squinted at the ceiling. His thoughts raced, making calculations, plans, moral decisions in the span of five long ticks. “I’m thinking…. I want another baby.”

Lance sat up in bed, gasping a “What?” so loud he started choking on air. Keith sat up in shock and leaned over him, waiting on him to catch his breath. Lance finally relaxed and took a breath. “Are… are you serious? What about… everything you said before? How much danger and-”

“I know,” Keith said. “But really…. Danger is everywhere, and we can only protect Violet so much. I do want another kid, Lance. I wouldn’t even hesitate if we weren’t paladins because being a dad… feels great. I thought being a pilot was all I could ever want, but… I was wrong. And I was only scared because I didn’t know what that meant for everything, but you’re right, we can plan, we know what to expect. Violet can have the sibling she wants just like she would if things were normal. And it wouldn’t be a solution to a problem, it’d be… an additional thing to give us strength and hope.” Lance put a hand against his cheek and furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“Are you sure about this? About having another?” Keith nodded slowly. “A hundred percent? A hundred and twenty percent?”

“Yes, Lance,” Keith chuckled. “I mean it. I want to.”

“Well then, we’d better get started!” Lance tackled Keith onto the bed and kissed him, with Keith laughing against his mouth, teasing insults swallowed by Lance’s lips.

Before Keith could even stop laughing, they heard a knock. Keith stood and let the door slide open, revealing Violet with a stuffed purple lion Allura had found for her. She looked nervous. “Can I sleep with you?” she whispered.

“What’s wrong, buttercup? We just put you to bed.” Violet hesitated, and when Keith knelt down to be at eye-level with her, he saw her tears brimming in her eyes. “Violet?”

She sniffed and looked at him. “I’m just sad,” she whimpered. “I made friends, and I might not see them, and so many people were sad and I don’t want them to get sad again, and I know I’m supposed to be brave so I can go with you but I can’t help it, Daddy.” Keith felt his heart break in two and he pulled her into his arms, shushing her gently.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, shh.” He lifted her and took her to the bed, where Lance scooted over to make room for her, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Being brave doesn’t mean you don’t cry. And just because you cry, that doesn’t mean we won’t take you again. You did a good job out there today.” Keith ran his hand through her curls and laid beside her. “It’s okay to be sad. I know it’s scary. And you’re just a little girl.”

Lance wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in close. “We’re very proud of you, you know?” he whispered to her. Violet wiped her eyes and hugged her lion closer. “You can cry if you want. You might feel better. And we’ll have you in a Papa Sandwich.” Lance threw his arms over her and onto Keith. Keith mirrored it, encasing their daughter between them. She laughed, and then her laughter turned into soft, shaky cries.

It hurt Keith’s heart to listen to her cries, but Lance was right. Maybe she needed to be able to cry instead of pushing it down. Hadn’t he learned that the hard way? Violet remained between her parents, hugging her stuffed lion tightly with one hand, the other holding onto her fathers’ arms. She shook slightly, crying softly. Then Keith heard Lance’s voice begin to sing a lullaby softly, raspy, and tired, but soothing and melodious. It was the lullaby he would sing to her when Keith was pregnant and for the first year when he put her to sleep.

Before long, all three of them were asleep.

***

It was their fifth anniversary. Lance had managed to get Hunk and Pidge to watch Violet for the night so he could celebrate with Keith. There wasn’t much to do to celebrate in space, but Lance knew that Keith liked to look out at the stars from the highest peak of the castle. And he took him there each year.

Keith loved being able to feel safe and calm for those moments when he could feel Lance’s presence beside him and had an endless expanse of stars and galaxies to mesmerize him. He intertwined his hand in Lance’s and sighed. “I love you,” he whispered.

Lance leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I love you too.”

Keith looked at him and smiled, wondering how he could feel so at peace with Lance. There was a time when being near him and feeling his blue-eyed gaze on him caused a million butterflies in his stomach and made him blush. That was gone. But it wasn’t a bad thing like Keith thought it would be. Instead, those jitters had been replaced by a level of peace and comfort Keith hadn’t known before. Lance was like an extension of him. Being near him felt like the only right thing in the universe.

“You know, I miss my family a lot. My home. I miss a lot of stuff from Earth. But after all this time…. It feels like I found a home in you,” Lance murmured, caressing Keith’s cheek. Keith leaned into his hand and kept his eyes on Lance. Home. That was the word. He felt like home. “We made our own family.”

Keith smiled and pressed his forehead against his. “You gave me a family,” he whispered. He leaned in and kissed him lightly.

Lance hummed and pulled Keith onto him as he laid back. “I can give you something else too, if you want,” he smirked.

Keith groaned and pulled himself up. He glared at Lance who was looking at him smugly as his hands ran up Keith’s sides. “God, you’re lucky you’re cute,” Keith grumbled, leaning down to kiss him. Lance chuckled and tangled his fingers in Keith’s hair.

Amidst soft laughter, gentle murmurs, and sweet nothings, clothes were discarded and Lance was touching Keith in ways that made him squirm and gasp and moan. He never did know what changes his body made. He never wanted to know, he just knew Lance didn’t mind and liked to make him feel good through said changes. But ever since Violet, Keith hadn’t let Lance top again, for fear of another pregnancy and lack of contraceptives.

Now, he was suddenly remembering how mush-brained he’d been those first few times. His toes curled and they were only beginning. Lance liked to be slow about their lovemaking, admiring and kissing and marking every part of Keith he could before really getting anywhere. Long, warm fingers traced over his skin in feather-light touches, his lips planted wet kisses over his stomach and shoulders. Lance lifted himself up, looking Keith in his eyes as he pushed in. He watched as Keith’s mouth fell open, his eyes rolled back, and his eyebrows furrowed. He lifted his head like a reflex before letting it fall back and letting out soft whimpers.

“You okay?” Lance whispered.

Keith nodded and moaned, gripping his arms. “Forgot… how good… a-ah.” Lance smiled and leaned down to kiss his neck, thrusting in and out slowly, drawing out beautiful sounds from Keith. Before long, Keith was pushing his heels into Lance’s back, whining softly. “More,” he breathed. “Harder. Faster.” Lance nodded, kissing him desperately as he complied. Keith bite onto his lip, gasping for air as Lance made his body spark with need and want and fire.

He wrapped his arms around Lance’s shoulders, holding onto him as Lance pushed into him, rocking their bodies. With each thrust, a small moaning mewl escaped Keith’s lips and a low, husky grunt escaped Lance’s. Keith slid one hand to Lance’s cheek and looked at his face. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed before a gasping moan slipped through.

“Keith,” Lance breathed. “I’m… I’m close.” Keith nodded and pulled him closer, using his feet to push Lance’s body into him. Lance grunted and gasped for breath, and Keith felt him finish in him, felt the warmth filling him and heard it as Lance continued through it. Lance’s hand slipped down and Keith arched his back, losing focus for a moment as Lance touched him. Lance pulled out and scrambled down, tongue licking upwards and it was that which sent Keith over the edge with a muffled yelp. “Happy anniversary, my love.”

“Happy anniversary,” Keith murmured, shutting his eyes tiredly, hands roaming Lance’s warm body. He kissed his sweaty forehead and looked at the expanse of stars again, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky.

“Unless we want someone to find us up here, we should get dressed and go back to our room,” Lance whispered, running his lips back and forth along his jaw. “We can go again.” He kissed the spot under his ear. “And again.” He kissed the sharp curve of his jawbone. “And again.” He kissed his neck. Keith sighed and ran his hand through Lance’s soft curls.

He smiled as Lance’s tongue swirled against his neck. “It’s hard to think that there was a time we weren’t this in love. This inseparable.”

“That we were rivals?”

Keith scoffed and looked at Lance, running his hand along the stubble on his cheek. “We were never rivals,” he whispered. “You put that in your own head. I teased you because you teased me. You seemed to love upsetting me.” Lance snorted and intertwined their hands. “I love you.”

“Te amo con todo mi corazón, mi vida.” Keith smiled at the Spanish he’d slowly begun to understand.

That night, between sleepy murmurs and tired laughter and lazy kisses, their room had been filled with sounds of love and want and desire. Even after five years of marriage, everything always felt new and beautiful.

***

Two months had passed. Violet was almost seven. Keith didn’t feel any nausea or feel any different. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to know whether he was pregnant or not. He wasn’t sure how to know when he could.

“Are you okay?” Hunk asked Keith one day while they were training. Hunk had gotten significantly better over the years and provided a challenge for Keith because he was stronger while Keith was lither. Keith grunted and kept fighting. Hunk gripped the staff he was using and yanked it away. “I’m serious dude. You’ve been acting weird.”

“I’m fine,” he breathed. “Really. Nothing different.” Nothing at all. Hunk looked at him with wide brown eyes, expectant and waiting. Keith sighed and took his staff back, leaning against it. “We’re trying to get pregnant and… it’s not working so I’m a little stressed.”

Hunk blinked a few times, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Um…. Wait, really?” Keith nodded. “I mean… that’s great, you know, but… why? I mean with how much you worry about Violet and the fighting and-”

“I know,” he nodded. “I do want another. I love being a dad. And I was scared about all of that but then…. I don’t know it just… seems right. Violet would have someone to grow with, we-I would have more reason to fight, more reason to be happy, and hopeful. And Violet really wants a sibling. I saw how she was with the Melkae children. She’d be such a good sister.”

Hunk smiled and nodded. “Well if it’s what you both really want. Maybe Pidge or Allura can look into the biology more and help you out.” Keith bit his lip and nodded. “Come on, buddy.” He put a hand on his shoulder and took him out of the training room.

Later, Keith found himself in the lab again while Pidge researched and Allura looked back at the records from when Keith had been pregnant with Violet. He felt self-conscious sitting there with EKG stickers on his abdomen.

“There aren’t any signs of a current pregnancy,” Hunk murmured, looking at the screen, unconsciously piling the scattered notes Pidge was making. Keith clenched his jaw and tried not to show that the words didn’t bother him.

Something about it hurt. What if he could only have one child? What if something was wrong with him and he couldn’t have another? Keith felt his throat close up and he looked down at the stickers and wires on his stomach.

“How long did you say you’ve been trying?” Pidge asked, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. She liked keeping it short, but it was longer than it was when they first met.

“About two months. I got nausea after two weeks with Violet, which is the only reason I know it’s not working.” He sighed and scratched his neck. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t want a kid when I got pregnant. Now that I want one, I c-can’t-” He shut his eyes and swallowed hard.

Pidge took his hand and squeezed. “Relax. Your body is obviously still capable. We just have to figure out the Galra pattern. It’s obviously not the same as a human’s.” Pidge bit down on her pencil moved next to Hunk to look over all the notes. They talked softly, consulting in voices Keith couldn’t hear.

Allura walked over to him. “Look what I found,” she said, holding a few papers. She handed them to him and leaned against the cot.

Keith looked at the papers and smiled to himself. “They’re like ultrasound pictures,” he whispered. He looked at the first scan he’d ever had during his pregnancy. The one that had sent him into panicked hysterics. He flipped through the pictures, watching as his daughter grew and grew and grew. And then there was a picture of the day she was born. Small, fragile, bundled in a blanket. “Wow. We were just kids,” he murmured, looking at his and Lance’s faces. Free of facial hair, with the smooth edges of youth, free of battle scars.

“You never told me what changed your mind in the beginning.” Keith hummed and gave Allura a questioning look. “About Violet. You seemed… so certain you didn’t want to go through with it, and then suddenly you did.”

“Oh,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Well…. A lot of things, I guess. I was scared because I was embarrassed. I’m a guy, and I was young. It felt vulnerable and I didn’t think I could do it. I thought I’d be a horrible dad, and… honestly part of me thought Lance would go away one day. Everyone always did before.” He looked down at the picture of him holding his newborn daughter with Lance leaning over him, giving him a fond look. “Once I woke up to Lance talking to my stomach. He was talking quietly, I guess to not wake me up. Something about the way he talked to her… with so much hope and happiness…. He had so much faith that everything would be okay. And he called her our baby. I guess that’s when it became tangible for me. She would always be something that united us. I was still scared, but… not for me anymore, you know?” He looked up at Allura and chuckled. “I’m so happy I didn’t make that decision. My little girl….” He chuckled and thought back fondly of those first few months when he was able to hold her in his arms. “I love her so much. It’s a level of love I didn’t think possible. Endless, limitless. Infinite.” Allura smiled and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulders.

Pidge returned to Keith, her hair unruly, half out of her ponytail like she’d run her hands through it way too many times. “There’s not enough on Galra. A lot of records are gone, and it’s hard to have a big enough sample to average out the time of ovulation, so to speak. It’s not necessarily the same thing for Galra, much less the males, plus you’re only part Galra. There’s too many factors and too many blanks for us to even get a guess on how it works. We’ll keep searching, but right now my only suggestion is to keep trying and we’ll keep scanning and testing you.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and shut his eyes. “What we can say,” Hunk added, “is that you’re definitely able to still. There’s nothing in your body that’s prohibiting you from being able to bear a child again.”

He nodded and removed the stickers on his stomach, put his shirt back on, and smiled at his friends. “Thanks for this, guys. I appreciate it. Allura, could you keep these safe for me?” He handed the pictures back to Allura and left the room.

He returned to his own and found Lance and Violet on the floor, Violet in his lap as he played a game on the phone Pidge had made him so he would stop stealing hers. He looked up when Keith came in and smiled. “Hey, baby. Where’ve you been?”

“Lab. Researching. How long have you been playing?” Violet peeked up at Lance and Lance looked down at Violet. “That look tells me the answer is something like, ‘too long.’”

“Daddy, can we go to the training room again?” Violet asked, scrambling off of Lance. “I want Papi to see me fight the robots.”

“You hurt your hand the last time we used the robots.”

“But I didn’t cry,” she said. She looked at him pleadingly, batting her lashes, her large purple eyes looking like something out of a cartoon. “Ple-ease?”

Keith sighed and smiled at her, nodding. He was weak for puppy-dog faces, and both his husband and his daughter loved exploiting that. Violet cheered and hauled Lance up, dragging them both out the door and to the training room.

A while back, with Pidge’s help, Keith made a special training sequence level for Violet that would be simple for her age. They moved slower, attacked with simple taps instead full-blown hits, and Pidge had managed to make the system call out encouragements as well. She’d only hurt her hand because she gripped her staff wrong and hit the metal. She’d yelped and dropped her staff, gritting her teeth. But she hadn’t cried. Keith really did have a habit of underestimating her.

“Papi, you have to watch me the whole time,” she insisted. Lance chuckled and sat on the floor. Keith sat beside him and nodded at Violet, who stepped out to the center of the mat. “Begin training sequence CS1!”

“CS1?” Lance whispered.

“Child-safety level one,” Keith answered. Lance nodded and smiled.

The robots started for her at a walking pace. Above them, a robotic voice said, “Get ready. Keep your stance. Stay focused. You’ve got this.”

Violet’s eyes narrowed, and she used her staff to sweep the legs out from under one robot, ran across the room to another, knocking its weapon- which only shot out beams of light, not actual lasers- out of its hand and shoving it back with one end. Lance whistled and nudged Keith gently. “She reminds me of you when you train.” Keith smiled and watched as Violet ran to each slow-moving robot, moving with her staff like he’d taught her.

“End of training sequence CS1. Great job!” the voice above complimented.

Violet scampered over to her parents and smiled proudly. “That was awesome, princesita! You did great!” Violet smiled wider, blushing slightly. “You know what you showed those robots?”

Then she lifted one hand over her head the other across her chest, and wiggled her fingers. “Razzle-dazzle!” Keith nearly choked.

Lance whooped and pulled her into a hug. “That’s my girl!”

Keith groaned and hid his face. “You showed her that?” Lance grinned and planted a kiss on her cheek as she laughed. Keith really did love his curly haired dorks.

***

Lance was optimistic. He kept assuring Keith that they’d get pregnant, and they just had to keep trying. Keith was slowly losing his hope. He was starting to come to terms with the idea of Violet being his only child, of not being able to give her siblings. But it’d been another three months, and Violet was going to turn seven in three weeks.

The most painful part was that every night for the last month, Keith would find himself crying into his pillow because all of their attempts were futile. At those moments, Lance always snaked his arm around him and pulled him against his chest, humming softly in his ear. Sex wasn’t the same simply because they both knew that Keith didn’t believe it would work. And despite Lance’s gentle reassurances, Keith still cried and seemed more aware of his empty abdomen.

Research had gotten nowhere. And Keith found himself in the lab every week or so. Lately though, he felt more like he was just counting down the minutes before he could leave, take a nap, then wake up pretending nothing was wrong. He’d began taking each mission instead of switching out with Shiro, using his frustration in his fighting. The others were aware, but none of them said anything.

It was late, and Keith couldn’t sleep. Lance was snoring beside him, and Keith felt particularly shitty. Lance had tried to make him feel better that evening and all Keith had done was snap at him and push him away. Then they’d both gone through the motions of sex if only to say they were still trying, but it left them both feeling hurt more than anything. He knew this was taking a toll on Lance too. He knew Lance’s hopes were getting crushed each time that monitor showed nothing new. He knew Lance wanted another kid just as much as Keith did.

Keith turned his head and looked at Lance. He’d shaved that day, so he looked younger. Keith reached out and touched a scar that ran down the side of Lance’s right eyebrow to just below his cheekbone. He touched the pale scar under his jaw where he’d dealt with a knife at his throat. Keith remembered feeling so full of rage and fear, it had taken everything in him not to act on impulse and put everyone in danger.

He let out a shaky breath and leaned forward, kissing his husband gently. His lips were unresponsive, but Keith kissed him harder, pulling him in. Lance grunted and Keith moved to his neck, whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you.”

Slowly, Lance woke up and with a raspy, confused voice he asked, “Keith, what? What’s wrong?”

Keith shook his head and kissed his lips again. “Nothing. I love you. I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish.” Lance looked at him with his brilliantly blue eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. “I’m not angry with you, but I act like I am, and I’m….” Keith sighed and kissed him lightly again.

“Oh, mi amor. I know you’re not. It’s okay.” Keith shook his head, but Lance stopped him with another kiss, this one longer, sweeter, deeper.

Keith found himself climbing onto Lance, moaning against his mouth. Before he knew it, their clothes were off and he was gasping against Lance’s ear with his arms wrapped over his shoulders as he lifted and lowered his hips onto Lance. This time it wasn’t like before. It wasn’t filled with frustration and half-hearted kisses. It was warm again. It was tender and sweet and wonderful and Keith wanted nothing more than to stay where he was, feeling like his heart would burst with the amount of love he felt for Lance.

Lance’s arms were wrapped around Keith’s middle, supporting him as he bit and sucked at his neck. Keith pulled back and rested his forehead against Lance’s as he moved, their eyes half-lidded and filled with adoration, their breaths warm against the other’s face. Lance leaned into him to plant soft, light kisses on his parted lips a few times before their movements became more erratic, and their breaths lost their rhythm. Lance thrust up with each time Keith let himself push down, and it took sloppy kisses to muffle their moans and groans. Lance moved one hand to wrap around Keith and began to pump, making Keith throw his head back. Suddenly his body felt like every nerve ending was bursting with fireworks and Lance was still pushing into him, kissing him, loving him. Keith whimpered and curled his toes so hard it hurt, but he didn’t care because everything else felt so good.

He felt warmth filling him and Lance’s open mouth was pressed into his collarbone, his breaths quick and shallow against his skin.

“I love you,” Keith breathed, his voice shaking and broken as he searched blindly for Lance’s lips, too tired to open his eyes.

Lance snuggled into his neck and laid Keith down before kissing him and pulling him up against his chest. “I love you more than you can imagine.” Keith smiled and fell asleep without crying.

Three days later, Keith was back in the lab, feeling annoyed but not quite so upset. As the tests were taken, Lance was beside him fidgeting. Allura sighed and shook her head. Then Lance blurted, “What if it’s me?”

Allura and Keith looked at him. “What?”

Lance gulped and bit his lip. “I mean… you keep looking to see if Keith’s body is okay, but…. What if it’s something wrong with me? What if it’s my fault we can’t get pregnant again?” Keith’s lips parted in shock as he registered what Lance was saying. He looked at Allura and saw that she was slowly realizing it was in fact a possibility.

“I supposed we can run some tests on you as well,” she said. “I’m not sure how long the results will take though.”

Lance nodded and kissed Keith’s cheek. “Go back to Violet. I’ll get back to you soon.” Keith nodded, and left, feeling like he wasn’t in his own body. An indefinite amount of time later, Lance returned and took Keith’s hand wordlessly as they settled for lunch. Keith looked at him questioningly, but Lance just squeezed his hands.

Later, when Keith was able to get Lance alone, he searched his eyes, looking for some sign of what his results were. “What happened?” he asked gently.

Lance shook his head. “Nothing yet. Allura said she was going to run a bunch of tests on my blood and well, my semen.” He blushed and rubbed his face. “If it’s me…. God, Keith, I’m so sorry.”

Keith pulled his hands away and kissed the knuckles. “Shh. Don’t do that,” he whispered. He looked him in the eyes and caressed his cheek. “You need to know that no matter what, I won’t blame you or hate you. We already have a beautiful little girl and when I married you, I promised to love you no matter what. If we can’t have another baby, that’s okay. I already have so much more than I deserve with you and Violet in my life.” He kissed him and smiled, wiping away a tear that had slid down Lance’s cheek. “It’s okay. I promise, it’s okay. I love you.” Lance nodded and leaned into him, fighting the guilt that threatened to choke him.

***

A week later, they were back in the lab. Keith was gripping Lance’s hand tightly hoping to reassure him that everything would be absolutely fine. Allura was finishing up her scans and putting together her results for them both. She looked confused, and it wasn’t helping either of their nerves.

She cleared her throat and looked at them. “Um… I’m not sure how you’ll take this,” she said slowly.

Keith felt his breath catch and Lance was shaking beside him. “What is it?” he asked, his voice stronger than he thought it would be. “If we can’t, then just-”

“It’s not that,” Allura interrupted. She furrowed her eyebrows and turned the monitor. Keith stared at it and frowned, trying to understand. It looked different and familiar but strange. He looked at Allura, waiting for an explanation. She chuckled nervously and pointed. “It looks like you’re expecting two children this time.”

Keith felt every ounce of air leave him at once. Lance froze completely beside him. “T-twins?” he asked. “I’m having twins?” Allura nodded slowly and Keith covered his mouth. It seemed like there was always a surprise.

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