i wish i were brave enough to hold it all in.
i was so good at that before, before you.
with you, unbeknownst to us both, a decision was made. no secrets, tell him everything.
some things are too troubling to deal with.
if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
i love you. isn’t that nice? sweet, even?
i love you with all my fibers.
i wish i were strong enough to only write i miss you. to only write i love you. to only write how angry, hurt and confused i am.
i wish i were not so weak as to actually send the words. how many times have i done it now it’s gotten me nowhere.
well, i love you. there’s got to be some bravery in that. can you accept my courage?
i heard when you love someone, and you bite your tongue, all you’re left with is a bloody mouth.
i’d rather tell you everything than choke on my heart jumping up through my throat, more eager than me to say it all.
just wanted you to know that little thing if i never got the chance to say it again.
that’s how we’re living these days, well me anyway. like everything and nothing matters. like it could end at any moment and i wanted you to know.
it’s just the little things.
every day i have to learn what it’s like to not have seen you for that many more days. every day i have to learn what it’s like to not hear from you that much longer.
you’re right- i’ll never forget this time of turmoil, delusion, and confusion. trusting you was never an option, it was unconditional. and these were just the little things.
i love you. and that’s the biggest thing of them all.
