#voidcalling

[foundcarcosa]

It stormed on the day the decision was made. It is storming now.

At least the universe knows what’s up.

[foundcarcosa]

I don’t know whence (or, er. from whom) this sudden storm of wind and lightning and cosmic fury came, but I sure hope my gratitude for it was obvious

[foundcarcosa]

My current stage of Learning: freedom from compulsion, and from false witness.

The way it feels reminds me of when Roland Umber forcibly extracted himself from the colour palette/eye thing that that guy in Hannibal had tried to put him in. I’ve been glued into this cycle that I am beginning to see the flaws in, that is starting to repulse me, and now I have to rip myself out of it. It hurts, and it’s hard, and I think I won’t be able to do it -- but I’m doing it. I did it. I will do it again.

But I am learning my power, my agency. I am learning to discern between my own voice/Can Calah’s/O’Dim’s, and the voice of whatever stupid cyclical fear-bound thoughtform thing I unwittingly created those years ago when I first saw the Tower.

“It is time to die. The cycle requires it. You must!” Yeah, yeah. There is a death that the cycle requires, False Witness. And it ain’t mine.

[foundcarcosa]

My deck’s always so nice to me so I picked a spread where some real talk is kinda unavoidable and this is how it went: “okay, yeah, you got some quicksand here and you definitely wanna watch out for this and I hate to say this but you really gotta work on this but also YOU’RE A GOOD KID AND YOU’LL BE AIIGHT IN THE END OKAY I BELIEVE IN YOU 8D”

me: thanks, mom

[foundcarcosa]

me: “hey it’s a Wednesday I should do a spread”

me: *picks this one*

me: *gets an actual handful of Swords*

me: 

me: “you know what"

me: “I really should have seent that coming”