#voidetrap

[enigmaris]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Fic for @voidetrap for the 2019 Holiday Truce.

I already posted it on tumblr but this is the link to like the better edited version because tunglr.com doesn’t like me when I try to edit things. 

[phandomphightclub]

Round 1 Match 17: @voidetrap vs. @canofspooks

Writer: @reallydumbdannyphantomaus

“Hey fuckers,” Bug said, popping into the announcer booth. “I really hope Tali’s profanity filter doesn’t catch me cussing.”

Tucker leaned over to Danny. “What the fuck are they talking about?” 

Danny shrugged.

“I thought you weren’t announcing this time?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“And I thought that I’d have graduated college by now. Death is weird, homie.” Bug grabbed their sparkly pink microphone. “Hey y’all fuckers, your favorite dumb bitch is back! Here to announce another legendary battle!”

The crowd erupted.

“Iiiiiiiiin this corner, returning for their second year as a phighter—” Bug checked their notes and grimaced “—the absolute worst who just made me lose the game in 20-fucking-20, it’s @voidetrap!”

The crowd stopped cheering to groan. A few ghosts piped up to mention that they’d lost the game. When Void stepped out, parrot on their shoulder, the crowd booed and threw popcorn at them. They bowed.

“Aaaaaaaaand in this corner, a first-time phighter. an absolute trash gremlin, who apparently thinks legs are… for cowards.” Bug covered the mic and turned to Danny, showing him the cue card. “Am I reading this right?” Without waiting for an answer, they turned back to the crowd and yelled into the mic, “I give you, @canofspooks!”

Spooks floated in, spectral tail fluttering in the wind.

“Your tail looks stupid!” Void said.

“Give me your teeth,” Spooks said.

“Okay, binches! Ready, set…” Bug hit the gong. “Phight!”

“Get ‘em, Parry.” Void flung their parrot off their shoulder, directly at Spooks’s face with a crunching noise.

Spooks winced. “Ow, oof, my bones.”

“Do. Do ghosts have bones?” Sam said.

Bug snorted. “Fartman only wishes; crunchy bones are just Spooks’s weapon of choice.”

“And he. He keeps them in his face?”

“Apparently.”

“Eat my boooooooooones!” Spooks tossed a femur and a mandible at Void, who failed to dodge.

“Good thing I don’t actually have a form, right?” Void said, disassociating.

“That’s what you think!” Spooks ran forward, tackling Void. He reached in their mouth and pulled out their teeth. Void screeched before passing out.

“Now that’s just unsanitary,” Tucker said.

Bug hit the gong. “Void is unable to battle! Spooks wins!”

[phandomphightclub]

Welcome to the Phight, @voidetrap.

[enigmaris]

Holiday Truce Gift!

Here’s my gift for @voidetrap. 

I hope you enjoy the fic! I’ve never written anything about Wes before so I hope I I met your expectations!!

The fic is Wes Weston vs. Jazz Fenton.

Check it out below the cut!

Why No One Believes Wes Weston:

Wes settled down into the chair, his heavy backpack clanking as he placed it on the floo beside him. He had to be careful, if he damaged any of his camera equipment, he wouldn’t have the chance to catch Fenton in the act. Last time Fenton had purposefully transformed in front of him when he saw that his camera’s lens was broken.

The bastard.

After Wes had confronted Fenton for the first time, Fenton had started messing with him consistently. Wes hadn’t gone to the rest of the school with his suspicions, and he wouldn’t until he had real evidence. Which is what the cameras were for. Soon enough he’d record the transformation and then it would be undeniable.

Not that Wes was planning on hunting Fenton down right then. No. He was here for a tutoring session. The tutoring sessions were held in one of the older classrooms, that went more or less unused since the ghost Poindexter had had his old locker moved in there by the principle and claimed it as his own. Despite this the ghost was hardly ever even there, but his haunted locker gave most everyone the creeps.  Other than the old locker the classroom was filled with wooden desks and chairs and an old dirty chalkboard. Wes had never actually been in this room before but it looked like most every other classroom in the school.

His grades in science were slipping and his teacher had promised him extra credit if he attended five sessions. She’d been offering that deal to every student, but most kids didn’t take her up on it because tutoring was the lamest way to spend an afternoon. Wes had done it to get his parents off his back. He didn’t know who was running the session, maybe one of the biology teachers, and he didn’t much care. He just had to get through an hour of this and then he could get back to following Fenton around for evidence. The door to the classroom opened and Wes looked up to see one other student walk in.

Jazz Fenton.

Dubbed the hottest senior girl by Wes’ gym class, Jazz Fenton was the anomaly of the Fenton Family. She wasn’t weird, she didn’t scream about ghosts or have to go to the bathroom constantly. She was also human and not a ghost masquerading as a human. She was beautiful, intelligent, and kind. People liked Jazz Fenton and Wes was no exception. He just wondered if she knew what her brother was. Was she even safe from him in Fentonworks?

“Oh!” She said. “Someone’s here.”

“Do people not normally come?”

“Oh, only around finals.” She joked. “What’s your name?”

“W…Wes. Wes Weston.”

“Alright Wes. What class are you in?”

“Chemistry.”

“Mrs. Anderson’s class?” She asked and Wes nodded in lieu of an answer. “Well great! I know what section you’re on then, open up your textbook and let’s get started.”

Wes pulled his textbook out of his bag and listened to Jazz begin to tutor him on stoichiometry. Wes sort of understood what that was but that didn’t mean he was any good at it. It relied on a lot of math that had never been Wes’ strong suit. He’d totally bombed the quiz on it last week and he was almost grateful to be getting the review. She wrote out a few practice problems and walked him through it very carefully. Wes followed along step by step, enjoying having her pretty eyes on him and listening to her friendly voice. Once she was sure he’d gotten it, she gave him a few to do on his own.

“So. Are you the only tutor?” Wes asked.

He wondered if he should tell her what he knew. Maybe then she could help him. Besides if her brother was dead then she needed to know. Living in denial couldn’t be good for anyone.

Wasn’t she all about psychology anyway? She’d love the warning!

“Yep. No one else wants to stay at school after hours since there’s more ghost activity in the late afternoons. Poindexter usually comes by but he and I have an agreement.” She answered. “I volunteered to do most of the afterschool work. It looks good on college applications too.”

“You know you’re pretty cool.” Wes said, trying to subtly warn Fenton’s hot and awesome sister that her younger brother was actually a ghost. “Normal, I mean. Danny’s a bit...”

The girl stiffened and then looked at the Wes with the fakest calm look Wes had ever seen. She looked frightened, as if Wes was threatening her.

“What are you talking about?” She squeaked. “Danny is the normal one.”

What?

Wes spent the rest of the tutoring session in a daze, asking questions and trying to understand why Jazz had reacted like that. Jazz spent the rest of it emphasizing how normal Danny was compared to her, just a normal boy with normal abilities.

She knew.

And what’s worse, she didn’t care.

If Jazz Fenton considered Danny normal then…

Then what was she?

When Wes got home, he started to frantically pace his room. Think Wes. Think. Jazz Fenton seemed normal. She wasn’t a ghost, Wes’ ghost detection equipment would’ve went off around her like it did Danny. So, then what? She was beautiful, pale, intelligent, and most people just got lost in her eyes when she talked. What if she was using some sort of mind control? What if people only thought she was pretty because she had something supernatural going on?

How deep did this thing go?

Wes put a picture of Jazz, taken from the online newspaper from the time she won the science fair, on his cork board and started sticking post-it notes around her, listing out everything he could possibly think of to describe Jazz. Mesmerizing. Strong. Capable. Smart. Welcoming.  As he muttered to himself, he started connecting various lists together using yarn. By the end of it, Wes looked up at his tangled mess and gasped.

“No. No. No.”

It can’t be.

He rushed over to his computer and brought up google. He typed in a search term and looked at the various Wikipedia articles that came up all while denying his conclusions.  

Strong.

Pale.

Beautiful.

Intelligent.

It was all there.

“Jazz Fenton is a vampire.”

He felt a trickle of fear run down his spine. Ghosts. Ghosts Wes could handle. Everyone in Amity knew how to handle ghosts. If you had ghost weapons you fired, if you didn’t you ducked out of the way and waited for someone who did. But vampires? No. That was new. That was dangerous. No one had vampire hunting equipment in Amity. Why would they?

They’d need them now.

Where were her fangs? Obviously, she wore fake teeth, or maybe they could retract to a normal length when she wasn’t feeding. Wes had seen Jazz Fenton fight ghosts with a whip, no one human could be that strong and that skinny. It was all coming together. The Fentons had adopted two undead teenagers and Jazz thought Danny was the more normal one because he was at least human half the time.

Now Wes just had to prove it.

The next day at school Wes snuck around at lunch trying to catch Jazz Fenton in the act of not eating or drinking blood or something. He didn’t even know where to start and he had to be careful. One false move and she’d be on his neck and then it would be game over. Wes couldn’t die, not when something as dangerous as a vampire walked among them. He didn’t see her in the lunchroom though. He also didn’t see Danny. He frowned and snuck out of the cafeteria. It didn’t take long to find the two Fenton teens talking to each other in an empty hallway.

“I’m serious Danny. The guy asked so many weird questions.”

“It’s just Wes.” Danny scoffed. “He’s not going to figure it out.”

“What if he does? We can’t let this get out, what about our-”

“Jazz. I swear he’s not going to hurt you or anyone else. He’s harmless.”

Wes narrowed his eyes. He’d show Danny harmless.

“Okay. I just. With information like that he could really hurt you.”

“You should be worried about yourself. You’re the one who has to interact with him for hours at a time. Don’t let him get to you. Don’t give anything away.”

The two teens kept talking about but it stopped being interesting, so Wes snuck back without them being aware that he’d listened in from behind a corner. He sat back down in the cafeteria and pulled out his notebook. He grabbed a cheap clicker pen and started to write out on the top of a clean page.

How to hunt a vampire:

1)      Garlic:

      a.      Wear garlic necklace (or put garlic in pocket) to next tutoring session.                   Look for averse reaction to smell.

2)      Cross:

      a.      Borrow mom’s cross and hide it in palm, shake hands with potential                     vampire, look for burns

3)      Sunlight??

      a.      Are vampires weak to sunlight? Jazz Fenton never seen outside on                     sunny day, always studying? Potential hazard? Open blinds during                       tutoring?

            i.      Warning could be defeated by thick sunscreen, check for zinc smell.

4)      Holy water?

      a.      Need to go to church with parents.

            i.      Plan heist of cathedral???

5)      Mirror:

      a.      Test for reflection

6)      Invitation:

      a.      Does Jazz need to be welcomed into a home to enter?

            b.      How to test??

                       i.      Hold a party?

It was a start Wes thought. He could try the first two easily tomorrow at his next tutoring session.

Wes’ mom kept asking him why he needed the garlic in the pantry, but she let him have it and she didn’t even notice that he’d borrowed her rosary. Wes kept the garlic in his pockets all day and occasionally rubbed it on his skin just so that he smelt very thickly of garlic. People avoided him in the hallways which meant he knew it was working. When the tutoring session started, Wes held out a hand, rosary hidden in his palm. Jazz saw it though and paused.

“Is that a cross?” She asked instead of shaking his hand. “It looks nice.”

“Don’t like crosses?”

“I’m not very religious.”

Right.

Test 1 failed.

At least he still had the garlic.

He put the rosary back into his pocket and pulled out his work. He’d placed a fan in the room so that it was blowing air from him to Jazz, ensuring the scent of garlic was going directly to her face. She didn’t seem to notice at first. But within a few minutes Wes noticed her sniffing.

“Do you smell something?”

“Uh no?”

“Oh. Must be some phantom smell. My parents experiments sometimes smell horrible and it sticks with me for hours after.”

Her parents made her immune to garlic. Damn.

The next tests were also not very successful. He couldn’t get her to look at a mirror without it sounding weird and the classroom didn’t have any reflective surfaces. He asked his parents if he could hold a party and they said no, he had after all gone home covered in garlic and gotten her rosary tainted with garlic smell. He tried to get Jazz to touch crosses multiple more times, but she always managed to slither her way out of it.

Fenton noticed Wes’ suspicions and got really protective. He kept Wes from doing anything to Jazz outside of the tutoring sessions.  

It all came to a head two weeks after Wes’ discovery.

He hadn’t slept well in days. Nights were filled with fears and doubts about vampires and ghosts. If ghosts and vampires were real then what else was? Bigfoot? Werewolves? Mermaids? How many things were trying to kill people? How was no one else noticing this? Were they all blind?

He saw Jazz Fenton drinking a red liquid from a thermos during lunch and snapped.

“THAT’S IT!” He shouted loud enough to be heard throughout the cafeteria. Everyone quieted down. “EVERYONE LISTEN UP! I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT JAZZ FENTON!”

Wes stood up and climbed onto the top of his lunch table. He struck a very dramatic pose and pointed at Jazz.

“She is a vampire!”

A beat of silence and then the entire school burst into laughter.

“No No! Look, she’s drinking blood!”

“It’s tomato soup.” Jazz denied. “Look.”

She thrust the open thermos over to one of her table mates who sniffed it and confirmed it was tomato soup.

“I’ve never seen you in the sun!”

“I’m on the school’s swim team.” She argued. “Get plenty of sun that way. Wait is that why you kept thrust a cross in my face?”

“Oh my gosh.” Danny said loud enough for everyone to hear. “You’re crazy next thing you’re going to be telling all of us that I’m a ghost!”

He then laughed loudly and the entire school followed suit, even Dash was willing to laugh along with Danny at the expense of Wes.

And from that day onward no one ever believed the boy-who-cried-vampire.

[phandomphightclub]

Round 2 Match 8: @ma-tsu-the-male-goddess vs. @voidetrap

“On to match eight!”  Tali announced.

“There really is no such thing as linear time here, is there?” Tucker asked.

“Either that, or none of these ghosts know how to count.”  Danny shrugged.  “This should be the next-to-last match, though.”

“Really?  It’s gonna be over already?”

Danny grinned. “What, you’re not ready to go?  I thought you were sick of this place already.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not so bad.  Now that Bug’s not here, anyway.”

Danny just laughed as Tali went on to announcing the phighters.

“From depths of the Nightmare Valley, where they’ve been marinating in darkness for the past nineteen years: Ma-tsu-the-male-goddess!”

There was a burst of flame from the ring, which flickered out to reveal a figure in a teal-and-purple leopard print robe.

“Yikes,” Tucker said.  He might have no sense of fashion, but even he could see that that was just bad.

“Yeah, that one’s definitely a yikes.”  Danny nodded.

“And a ghost from the Far Frozen who claims to be very frail: Voidetrap!”

Voidetrap cartwheeled into the ring, somehow not dislodging the parrot clinging to her shoulder.

“PHIGHT!”

As Tali said the word, the speaker system began blaring.

“I really hate you, Stop getting in my way

“I've lost my patience, When are you gonna decay?”

Tucker frowned.  “Okay, at least it’s not Cotton Eye Joe, but - what the heck is this music?”

“I Hope You Die in a Fire,” Tali answered.  “One of the phighters requested it.”

“Dude, you just gotta learn not to ask,” Danny said.

Meanwhile, Matsu and Voidetrap squared up, Matsu holding a plastic alligator and Voidetrap holding some kind of wide-barrelled gun.

“Is the music getting to you yet?”  Matsu asked.

“Nah.  I made sure to bring earplugs.”  Voidetrap pointed to her ears, where what looked like pieces of cake were shoved in them.  How she could hear Matsu at all was a mystery.

“Huh.  That’s too bad.  Guess I’ll just have to yeet you out of the ring manually, then.”

Matsu swept forward, robes billowing, and swung at Voidetrap with the alligator.  Voidetrap ducked and tried to shoot the gun - only to realize she hadn’t loaded her parrot into it yet.

“Dang it,” she muttered.

“Dang it!  Dang it!  Squawk!”  The parrot echoed.  In the moment of distraction, Matsu got another solid swing in. The plastic alligator collided with the gun and sent it flying.

“Please don’t hurt me,” Voidetrap said nervously.  “I am actually very frail.”

“Are you giving up, then?”  Matsu asked.

“Uh…” Voidetrap eyed the alligator, which blinked at her despite being made of plastic.  She paled suddenly.  “Yeah.  I’ll do that.”

Tali sounded her kazoo.  “Voidetrap is unable to battle!  Ma-tsu-the-male-goddess wins!”

[phandomphightclub]

Welcome to the Phight, @voidetrap.