#voidthoughts

[disruptivevoib]

two kinds of people exist in this world.

[thevoidbird]

I think I would’ve felt a little better if we got to watch them find each other multiple times throughout history. If that makes sense.

[appalachianoraclewitch]

Existing is exhausting and yet I can’t sleep at night lmao

[comfy-void]

Can we talk for a second about the way polyamory is treated in mainstream culture?

It’s becoming a bit more accepted now, but there’s still a long way to go. So I wanna talk about some things.

I wanna talk about how polyamory is portrayed solely to douchebags (whether or not the piece of media is aware that the character is a douchebag), people in the past, and religious zealots. How it’s represented as “man cheating on multiple people” or “old man keeps hundreds of women captive in a cult in order to exploit them” and never anything else?

I wanna talk about how as a result, sometimes poly people have a period in their life where they feel guilty and dirty for liking multiple people romantically and wanting to pursue a relationship like that? And how threesomes (even functional ones) are portrayed only as a sexual thing?

It’s not the worst representation problem we have, but it hit me all at once and I felt like talking about it.

[disruptivevoib]

What up ENA nation

[disruptivevoib]

sometimes you get a little overzealous and you take a bite bigger than you can chew, so maybe you choke! I guess what I'm saying is I've had this thing sitting around for probably like a year now at this point. As much as I love it, I also sort of don't have the motivation, focus, or time to keep working on it (in its current form). Trilemma as a concept is something I enjoy a lot, it combines my love of psychology with my love of the CCCC album and my love of games and art and worldbuilding.

That said, I began without a clear direction. I know and can do things now that I couldn't before, and thus knowing this, I would rather scrap all of this and restart- but that'd mean a lot of this art goes to waste.

and "waste" is part of the creative process. But it also sucks. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, maybe. I hold myself to higher standards than I could feasibly achieve within my peak creative bursts, then this pressure applies throughout the process, which turns into the decline and results in intense burnout. Sometimes this means I hate the thing I once loved, other times, I see the signs and take breaks, but I wind up taking too long of a break- one like now, where I look back and go "man I have 100 ways to make this more efficient."

I have to learn that this is fine, though, because I have a better idea on what I'd do and yes, this is all a big wash, but if I want to pick it back up, I'll know a bit better on how to be efficient and not make the process feel so much bigger than I can handle (canvas sizes, making the background loosely in blender so I can remember my angles. etc etc)

I'm also not the happiest with the later work where I became a bit sloppy with some of the panels or drawings to just "get it done".

Anyways. Under the cut are the rest of the planned panels for this. They're all thumbnails and very loose, not nearly as readable as the above.

I don't want to look at this as giving up... more trying to re-do the concept. rework it in my brain maybe at some point.

Like I said at the start, I tend to take too big of a bite out of something and regret it later. I also have a massive issue in asking for help- and beyond that, in feeling like I should be able of doing this whole thing on my own, because well- nobody else but me cares about it, so why should they have to help?

That goes beyond this, maybe.

All in all, creativity is not linear, be kind to yourself, and if you find yourself feeling "just get it done" then its not fun anymore and you should take a step back, probably.

[disruptivevoib]

"You'll what, kill her?

Why? Cause she's a witch?"

"Is this really so bad, we don't have to kill anyone, we just continue working together and having fun.

Is the person who wished for a life like that so evil, that she deserves to die?"

I think about Homulily a lot. mainly because I've rewatched Rebellion like at least twice this year with folks. I think about the perspective we get, I think about how she formed trapped in her own mind, how Homura cannot afford herself any sympathy. How self-loathing Homura is on so many levels and yet persistent to save Madoka- which really also comes down to wishing they could all just live simple lives, like Sayaka says to her in the movie scene.

And I think about what that becomes once Homura is drowning in herself. Devil Homura is the most extreme and warped version of what Homura truly wanted. To some degree, I think Homura knew that it'd be what she'd become if she didn't die in her own labyrinth then and there. Leading herself to that guillotine not capable of understanding why others would fight for her *and* understanding that her death would be the best way to protect them all. Sort of.

Homura is so deeply conflicted. I am excited for Walpurgisnact Rising for that reason and the implication of two different Homuras, or at least projections of her. Cause it always comes down to that..

The scene where Madoka is braiding Homura's hair back into its original braids after Homura's lost them (and her glasses) again in the labyrinth of rebellion, and how Homura's quiet self-realization that she has to be the witch destroys those braids again. if that makes sense.

[disruptivevoib]

Wonder What They're Talking About mmm.