TRC Translation Notes Volume 15 (Chapters 109 - 116 + Omake)
Another installment of excellent translation notes from the wonderful @giniroangou, now fixing Acid Tokyo one chapter at a time.
Highlights include: the return of gratuitous exclamation marks, when a basement isn’t a basement, Improved Kurofai scene (oh my lord, it’s so much clearer, I’m so thrilled), justice for Nataku, Yuuko prices making more sense, and Mokona being Mokona.
Chapter 109
p.5 - “Strong” is the proper translation for Syaoran’s impression of Kamui, so I think this is just shounen manga nonsense, lol.
p.6 - The word translated as “game” here is just a katakana “e” (エ, pronounced “eh”.) It’s a made-up term and the lack of kanji strips it of all meaning until the manga gives us a bit more information, which I’ll elaborate on once we get there.
p.9 - I’m finding it hilarious now that “e” was translated but “ku” wasn’t, oh my god why. “Ku” is the word for a district or a ward.
p.23 - Since you were using these (understandably) as a basis for characterization, there are actually no exclamation points involved in any of the dialogue on this page. There are a couple sentences ending in “yo” so that comes close I guess but IDK, the gratuitous exclamation points in this translation are always going to bug me.
Chapter 110
p.40 - Fuuma’s “It looks like you don’t want to listen to reason,” was originally, “It looks like you’re not in the mood to hear me out,” which I feel makes a bit more sense.
Chapter 111
Cover Page - “The Capital of Water” is the original title of this chapter.
p.51 - Font note: Kakyo’s lines are not italicized in the Japanese version, but they’re bold and written in a slightly fancier font. Kusanagi’s on the next page are just bold.
p.52 - It might just be me, but the use of “basement” feels a bit odd here - the original word used is “chika” (地下), which can be used to refer to a basement, but also any other underground place - it literally just means “underground.”
p.56 - Fai’s translated line about Syaoran having been through some tough times sounds hilariously vague. In the original line he points out that it would be difficult for Syaoran to carry on like this (ie with an arrow sticking out of his leg.)
p.62-63 - The thread of this conversation gets a little lost in the translation. The point of it is, having an underground vein of water alone isn’t enough to save people here, given that the acid rain can penetrate the earth, so the reason why their water is so precious is because it’s beneath a building that’s relatively intact.
Chapter 112
p.73 - When Kurogane says that Fai’s reason for running is none of his business, he says “Ore ni wa kankei nee” (俺には関係ねぇ), which we’ll see repeated later in this scene. More literally this means, “It has nothing to do with me,” or to capture the full versatility of the phrase, “It doesn’t matter to me.” There’s the potential for this line to put distance between Kurogane and Fai, as the initial “none of my business” seems to do and as Fai first interprets it, but there’s also the potential for it to mean that Fai’s past is irrelevant to Kurogane’s current relationship with and perception of him.
p.74 - The phrase “Just now” in the translation was originally “ima no omae,” which is a bit awkward to convert to English but essentially means “the present you” or “the person you are now.” Kurogane is separating Fai’s more guarded past self from his current incarnation who shows genuine care for Sakura and Syoaran.
p.75 - The exception to Fai’s “not dying” rule isn’t dying for someone else, but dying because of someone else. Fai references their conversation in Koryo, but Kurogane shifts more towards their conversation in Outo, which was about Fai not valuing his life.
p.77 - The word that’s been translated as “unhappy” is “fukou” (不幸), which can mean unhappiness but also misfortune in a general sense. Basically Fai doesn’t want bad things to happen to anyone because of his involvement with them.
p.80 - In the Japanese text it’s a lot clearer that Kurogane isn’t really hurting Fai here (or at least that his protest isn’t genuine) - the ending of Fai’s “That hurts” is dragged out into the tone he uses when he’s saying something jokingly. Once again, this seems to be an unsuccessful attempt to distract from their conversation and lighten the mood. It’s quite likely that he’s trying to make Kurogane let go, but I don’t think pain is the reason.
The distinction I made earlier about “It doesn’t matter to me” comes into play here again. There’s a bit of a different ring to “Your past doesn’t matter to me” vs “Your past is no business of mine.” I think it’s also important to note that Fai’s shift from dismissive to shocked here is in response to Kurogane’s adjusted wording - he’s making sure Fai understands that in saying “It doesn’t matter,” he’s not saying that Fai himself doesn’t matter, but that it’s his past specifically and his past alone. Fai thought Kurogane was drawing a line between the two of them, when he was really drawing a line between Fai’s past and current lives.
p.81 - This is a VERY IMPORTANT line that will come up later, and I’m not sure how they handle that with this translation, but what Kurogane is actually saying here is more like, “Cut this shit out and resign yourself to who you are now.” The phrase he uses - a form of “hara wo kukuru” (腹を括る) - indicates steeling yourself to face something unpleasant; he recognizes how difficult this is for Fai, but still wants Fai to recognize how involved he’s become with their found family and accept that as his fate.
Chapter 113
p.98 - In the original text, Syaoran’s single-mindedness is on full display - he straight-up says he’s going because he might learn something about the feather instead of just treating it as an example.
p.99 - The phrase “don’t waste your strength” feels a bit off here - the sentiment should be more along the lines of “don’t push yourself.”
Kurogane literally finishes Fai’s sentence at the bottom of this page. The sentence order makes this very difficult to translate into English in a way that makes sense, but a direct translation would be (Fai) “That… Syaoran-kun…” (Kurogane) “It wasn’t.” forming the full sentence of, “That wasn’t Syaoran-kun.” Fai’s words appear to be hesitant with Kurogane confirming his suspicions, but the original scene gives a stronger sense of them being on the same page than the translation does.
Chapter 114
p.129 - Rest assured, Nataku’s gender identity is preserved in the original text. This is a common trend with CLAMP translations given the large number of characters confirmed or assumed to be non-binary, but often when you see a gendered pronoun in an English translation, there is no corresponding pronoun in the Japanese text. The Japanese language doesn’t require pronouns in many cases, and even when it does people often opt to use each other’s names instead. It’s a great language for non-binary folks, but this also means non-binary gender is very easy to miss unless there’s a point made of it in other dialogue. I assume most translators don’t really think much of assigning gendered pronouns that weren’t originally there simply because a lack of pronouns is so common in Japanese.
Chapter 115
p.139 - The wording in Kamui’s vow of protection reveals that he is protecting something living - he uses the word “iru” (居る) for living things rather than “aru” (有る) for inanimate objects.
p.141 - “I want/need to take it back” is a more appropriate translation for Syaoran’s lines here than “give it back.”
p.143 - Fai tells Mokona that just he and Syaoran will go on any future errands (the “or” was a mistranslation.) Basically he’s saying, “Don’t come with us next time,” in the nicest way possible.
Chapter 116
p.152 - We finally have a name for Xing-Huo! I can’t speak to the transliteration and Chinese meaning, but the exact katakana for her name’s pronunciation are “shin fo” (シンフォ) and it’s written with the kanji 星火, meaning “star” and “fire” respectively. (It looks like lots of great info already came out in the comments when you first read this chapter, but I’m keeping this here for completeness.)
p.153 - I would interpret Yuuko’s final line on this page as: “Those children, too, are like fragments of an unfulfilled dream.”
p.155 - The first price Yuuko lists, “Connections,” is “kankeisei” (関係性), the same word she used for Syaoran’s price at the beginning of the manga, translated at the time as “Your relationship.” This word can refer in a general sense to relations with others, hence the translation on this page, but in the Japanese version it’s a clear call-back to that earlier scene in which the word specifically indicated Syaoran’s relationship with Sakura.
p.156 - In case this needs clarification, when Yuuko says this is within the limits of her meddling, she means it falls within the extent that she’s able to interfere.
p.157 - Once again, “I have to give it back” should be, “I have to take it back.”
p.164 - For the curious, since this term shows up in various places, the word translated as “dream seer” is “yumemi” (夢見).
Omake
p.176 - Mokona saying she’s afraid of pork buns (“manjuu kowai”) is a reference to a well-known rakugo story in which a group of friends are sharing their fears and one of them admits with some embarrassment that he’s afraid of manjuu. His friends are so entertained by this that they decide to tease him by buying a whole bunch of manjuu and leaving them in his room. Though he vocally protests, his friends realize after a moment that he’s eating the manjuu. Acknowledging that they were tricked, they ask what he’s actually afraid of and he says, “Right now I’m scared of a cup of tea.” Aka Mokona is attempting to troll her family for food, in true Mokona style.