#voldemort loses composure

[kingofnagging]

Harry: He Who Must Not Be Named? More like He Who Fails To Kill A Puny Nemesis All The Time.

Voldemort: Ouch.

Harry: No, really. Seventeen years. Countless attempts. Still here.

Voldemort: You’re like a magical cockroach with sarcasm issues.

Harry: And you’re a noseless Victorian ghost with control issues ten kilometers wide.

Voldemort: Victorian?!

Harry: You float. You monologue. You dress like a cursed opera understudy.

Voldemort: I strike fear into hearts!

Harry: You strike aesthetic. You look like you haunt a cursed piano.

Voldemort: I will end you.

Harry: You’ve been saying that since I was a babe. Clock’s ticking, drama queen.

[kingofnagging]

Voldemort: You think you're clever?

Harry: I know I'm clever. I’ve outlived seven Horcruxes and your fashion choices.

Voldemort: I am the most powerful wizard alive!

Harry: Then why are you always losing to a kid who only passed Potions because Snape had a complicated crush on his mum?

Voldemort: hissing intensifies

Harry: Oh look, the snake man is angry. Someone get him a Parseltongue pacifier.

Voldemort: Insolent child! I have transcended mortality!

Harry: Congratulations. You're now an immortal crypt keeper with commitment issues.

Voldemort: I will break you.

Harry: Mate, the Dursleys tried. You think you’re scarier than Aunt Petunia before her morning tea?

Voldemort: You mock me at your peril.

Harry: I mock you because it’s free, fun, and effective. Unlike your plans.