Odd Neighbors and Odd Religions
There is a Playstation 3 and a Playstation 4 in my living room. Lying next to it was a note that said "I'm sorry, totally my bad, take these and please forgive me."
... who the hell sent these? There is no damn name, nothing, was this an accident, did I have another onslaught of amnesia?
Whatever the heck it is I'm going to just put them in a box and leave it at that. The last time I played a video game I was absorbed into it and had to help some angry pale man get vengeance because of vengeance and screaming or whatever the hell was wrong with him.
But on some good news, I looked in the mirror and notice that the massive terrifying parasite is gone and I can move along with my life.
Moving on, I got some gardening done, it took me a good two hours and it was some really nice work. Gathered all the tentacles in a pile and set them on fire. Had to wear some really big sound proof headphones, cause those bastards screamed really loud.
It was right around the first 10 minutes of tentacle burning that I noticed something, there was a 13 foot long fence to the right of my house. I did my best not to freak out, but then some guy in a Hawaiian shirt, brown shorts, and a silly hat walked over to the fence and leaned on it with a cup of what I am guessing was coffee. He was completely casual, as if he always did this and it wasn't really freaking weird or awkward. He watched the tentacles burn for a few minutes, juts ... sipping that coffee, before he motioned for me to come over.
"Nice weather we're having eh," he talked in a middle American accent in perfect English.
"Yeah" what the hell else was I going to say? I still kept my finger on my Remington R51, I had no idea what this whole scenario could possibly be.
"So me an the missus were wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tomorrow?" the man said jabbing his thumb over his shoulder to a house I'm guessing he believed was there.
"Sure, what time?" the hell was going on here?
"Oh about 8:73, should give us plenty of time to get the Unicorn all nice and cooked."
"Unicorn?"
"Yup, caught her myself, chainsaw and everything" a proud smile spread across his face as I tried to work the absurdity of everything I was hearing.
"Sounds tasty" Unicorn causes aggressive tumors in everyone that eats its flesh, who isn't a virgin. If you are a virgin, you gain superhuman powers. Did I ever tell you guys about my life saving surgery, that involved getting rid of tumors. "Well I better get going, got a few more chores to get done before ... stuff" what the hell was I supposed to say to this man?
"Well you take care of yourself, can't wait to watch the next gladiator match." Gladiators, what the hell? "I hear the Giants are playing the Raiders, and that they might release some lions during half-time." Wow this guy sounds excited.
"Yeah, hey I've been trying to set up your contact info on my cell, but I'm pretty sure I'm spelling your name wrong" I pulled out a fake cell phone I keep for the same reason I don't just outright wear body armor everywhere I go.
"Well it is spelled kinda weird, my parents were into that whole 'Ythogtha will devour the sky and the seas' thing." he said while reaching for my phone and then typing out his name.
"Yeah, Ythogtha is just ... an odd group" was that an elder god?
"I'm more an Vthyarilops man myself" He finished typing in his cell phone number as well "Well I gotta go, stuff to do and wives to please." He rolled his eyes and then winked at the last part.
He walked away and in what felt like an immediate flash of my senses quickly blanking out, he was gone, along with the fence. I smelled coffee for the next hour.
What a weird day, and the name is even stranger. His name is Grace who the hell names their baby boy Grace? I decided to ask the house a quick question, "Hey house, do I have a neighbor?"
I got 3 yes, 3 no, and 2 bitch you crazy. Whatever, I have no idea what is happening and I could really care less. Guess I have a dinner date tomorrow with people who don't exist in a house that doesn't exist, eating food that would horribly kill me. Fun times.
Well I'm gonna go to this dinner, but not before I get ... is that Final Fantasy 7?
Gotta go, need to get some levels up before my fight with this silver haired pretty boy with mommy issues.