Left on the kitchen counter for Ash to find before the party. Included are a snake wine bottle holder (bottle included), a throw pillow with a map of New Orleans on it, a snake ring, and a freshly made hurricane with added goat’s blood.
Dear Birthday Boy,
Sorry I had to split so quick this morning. I’m prepping some stuff for your party, but here are your gifts! I know they’re technically early since your birthday’s not until Wednesday, but I couldn’t wait. I might have went a little crazy, especially with the snake motif, but I hope you like it all! The guy at the liquor store told me the wine is a “good year”, whatever the hell that means, and it’s got rabbit’s blood in it. The Hurricane has some goat’s blood too. I figured you could pre-game before going to the beach ;) I made it myself with some heavy help from a Youtube video, so hopefully it’s not completely garbage.
I’m gonna get a little sappy here, so fair warning. You’re an awesome friend, Ash, and I’m glad you asked me to move in with you. I felt weird about it at first, and sometimes I do still miss living in my RV, but you’ve made me feel at home in your own silly little ways and I love it.
River was still in a little bit of disbelief as she lugged another box up the stairs to the apartment she now shared with Ash. An apartment. Roots. She hadn’t had roots in years. She’d flowed from place to place like a...well, like a river. She followed set paths, wherever her leads took her, so she was never aimless. But she never settled down in one place for too long either. Her RV, once a beacon of her loneliness, had become the shell of her hermit-crab personality. A security blanket.
The place was huge, apparently converted from an old warehouse into a beautiful loft. River felt bad she wouldn’t be able to split the rent 50/50 like she wanted. She knew it didn’t really matter, because Ash could afford to pay for the whole thing on his own, but she didn’t want to feel like a charity case either. Sort of too late though, since he’d already bought all the furniture, including a new bed for River. She appreciated it a whole heck of a lot, sure, but it left a weird taste in her mouth that she just tried to ignore. Ash loved to spread his money around though, and who was she to deny him of that?
Once she was a few steps inside, she dropped the box on the ground, her fingertips on fire from carrying it. She definitely couldn’t make it up another flight of stairs to her room in the loft without a break. “I’ve literally pulled an anchor out of the sea and still I swear nothing is heavier than a box of books,” she sighed, flopping herself down on the new sectional sofa to take a breather. Ash was adjusting some accent pieces on the coffee table. “I still can’t believe we found this place. It’s fucking rad.”
There was some furniture that still needed assembled and pieces of art leaned against the walls that needed hanging, but the main living area and the kitchen were mostly sorted. The same could not be said for River’s room, still stacked with boxes and new shit that Ash had bought for her when they’d went shopping. She refused to let the movers touch her room past putting things up there, insisting she wanted to place everything herself.
“You’re absolutely sure you’re okay with splitting 60/40, right? Like positively sure?”
Charlie drives River home from Iann’s place, and has to face Ash after killing him earlier in the weekend. Too bad neither of them can quite remember, and the awkward tension in the air is misinterpreted in ways that plant seeds of doubt in paranoid minds.
@ashcaplan
@charliesfins
Charlie rubbed River's arm to help her feel better, fingers still laced together. Charlie waited for River as she talked to Iann. "Sure," they said when she came back. "I can take you home." They felt a sharp pang of nerves at the mention of Ash, but Charlie still couldn't place why. "Are you go to stay there alone tonight? I could stay but..." They trailed off. For some reason, Charlie had the feeling that Ash wouldn't want to see them and would want them to stay even less.
River furrowed her brow, reaching out for Charlie's hand, tugging them up from the sofa and leading them by the hand toward the lobby and out the front doors. "But what?" she asked. It wasn't in a teasing way or anything. She was honestly a little concerned about how Charlie was taking all this. River wasn't over her initial shock by any means, but the more traumatic memories were slowly fading with each passing moment, and that made it easier to focus on the now. "Are you okay? You know, considering?"
Charlie swallowed hard. "I... I don't know." Charlie stopped moving, unable to even imagine driving quite yet. "I feel like I'm missing something, and it's big. It involves Ash, but I don't-" They raised their hands up, pressing them against their face. When they spoke again, it was practically a whisper: "I did something wrong."
River was surprised when Charlie stopped moving, dropping her hand once they'd gotten outside the doors. She turned to see the absolute terror on their face, and she reached up dutifully to grab the hands contributing to their expression and squeeze them, kissing their fingertips softly. "The blood moon made us all crazy. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it is," she said, completely oblivious to how serious the situation was. "What do you remember?"
Charlie shook their head. "No, it didn't make you crazy. It made crazy come after you." Squeezing River's hand, Charlie looked up at the now waning moon. "I know I wasn't a good person. I wasn't a good person before you... But without you, I became something else. I was angry, so angry. I don't remember why or what I did, but I know it involved Ash. When I try to remember, there's just panic and shame and guilt. I don't know what it is. I don't know what I did. But I know that if Ash remembers, it won't be good." They finally looked back up at River. "Will you hate me if I became a monster without you?" It scared Charlie to say it, and the correlation wasn't really fair since the moon had done most of the work. They hadn't become so angry because River was gone, but it certainly hadn't helped.
River's hands scrambled up to Charlie's face, holding it steady to make them look at her. To calm them with a soothing touch and loving eyes. "But it did make me crazy, Charlie. I'm already an angry person....I don't want to think about what I would have done this weekend if I'd...if I'd been around...." She couldn’t bring herself to say 'died' anymore. Like it wasn't in her vocabulary suddenly. "I was angry too. So fucking angry. That's why I was on the verge of a panic attack when we went to the lighthouse." The things they were saying made her so sad, and she just wanted to kiss the pain away. "Why don't you think you're a good person?" She jostled their head a little between her hands, her voice sturdy and strong. "I could never hate you, Charlie. Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault." Though she would be lying if she said she wasn't worried about Ash now. She let her hands slide down to their shoulders and she squeezed them firmly. "It's not your fault. Say it."
Charlie leaned into River's touch, almost starving for it after the insanity of the weekend. "I don't know," they admitted, "but how can I forgive myself for something I can't even remember? Or maybe I won't remember it. Maybe I've pushed it back because my brain decided that I shouldn't feel guilty about it, but I still do. How do you atone for something you don't know?" They pulled River in closer, breathing in her presence as they tried to follow her directions. "I don't know if it was my fault. With the moon, maybe I wasn't fully responsible." But how could that be true when they couldn't even think of Ash without panicking?
River realized that was probably the best she was going to get out of them. If she was in their shoes, she'd probably be self hating just as much, if not more. She pulled Charlie into an embrace, planting a kiss on their neck. Not hot and sexual like the spot was usually reserved for. No, it was warm, soft, caring. "You weren't, baby. You weren't." She gave them the same advice she'd given Ash before, still not able to take it herself. "Don't let guilt consume you, especially for something that isn't your fault." She pulled them tighter, tears actually coming to her eyes now, though she wasn't sure why. "But you can always talk to me if you feel like it is," she whispered, her voice cracking a bit. "I'll never judge you, okay?"
Charlie swallowed hard as they listened to River's advice. "I can't make promises, but I'll try," Charlie said. They offered her a soft smile. "For someone who was... not active all weekend, you've pretty sage." They held her a bit longer before asking, "Are you ready to go home?" They wouldn't blame her if she was tired or just wanted them gone. Today was a rather taxing day, and based on what little Charlie has seen on their way to the inn, it had been one for everyone. Hopefully Ash--whatever had happened--was coping well after dealing with the moon's effects.
River let out a soft, airy laugh. "I have my moments." She pulled back from Charlie a bit, nodding. "Yeah, if you're good to drive? I don't want to make you face anything you're not ready for." She wanted to stay with them all night. Maybe the next couple, honestly. She felt like there was missed time to catch up on. But she also needed to see Ash, and if something bad had happened, she couldn't leave him alone. She felt torn between two people she cared about in the worst way possible.
Charlie nodded. "I think I'm good. If I did do something, I want to know. If he remembers, I should face him about it." The idea still filled them with pretty extreme levels of dread, but with River there, they felt more manageable. Plus, it was probably best not to let the emotions continue to build up until Charlie couldn't cope. They pointed out into the lot. "I parked over there." Taking River's hand again, they led her toward the car. Partially to be a gentleman and partially because they still wanted to go easy on her, Charlie opened River's door for her.
River was comforted by Charlie's resolve, not saying anything but offering a reassuring smile. She let herself be led to the car. It felt nice to be somewhere so familiar. It made this whole thing seem that much more real. But she was craving her bed something fierce. When Charlie got into the driver's side, River reached over and took their hand, not wanting to be disconnected for too long just yet.
Charlie smiled as River reached for their hand, glad they weren't the only one wanting to seek out physical touch after all this. "You look tired," they commented, meaning it as a pure observation and not an insult. With the recent events that had transpired and River's recent status, they deserved to sleep as much as they wanted. Charlie started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. While they'd never gone from the inn to River and Ash's place, they'd been to both enough that the trip was simple enough.
River nodded her head lazily. "I am," she confirmed. "It's weird how being....gone, took so much out of me." She squeezed Charlie's hand and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the seat. It seemed like she'd only blinked and they were home. It didn't take long to get anywhere in this town. She glanced over at Charlie, trying to read their face. "Are you ready? I'll be right there with you."
Charlie was careful as they drove home. As they parked at the curb in front of the apartment, Charlie swallowed hard. "I think so," they said. "And maybe it's all in my head." They added the idea mostly for River's benefit because they didn't think they were about to convince themself of anything of that sort. As Charlie got out of the car, they glanced up, frowning as they realized the balcony railing was broken on Ash and River's apartment. "That's strange," they murmured. "I wonder what could have caused that."
Ash had woken up on the ground. Not the floor. The hard ground underneath the upstairs window. He had groaned, rubbed the back of his neck, and wondered just how drunk he had to have been to allow that to happen. River had texted him something about being safe and Maya something about being cooped up at Fane’s, but he had no idea because his phone had been sitting on the living room table until now. He was about to answer River when he heard the car in the driveway and soon her and Charlie joined him inside. “Oh there y’all are. Apparently it was a crazy couple nights? I drank so much I don’t even remember it. I woke up on the freaking driveway.”
The moment River was sure Charlie was okay, she got out of the car and rushed inside, not even noticing the broken railing or the fading bloodstain on the pavement. All this talk of something terrible happening to Ash had River beyond worried. So when she saw him in the living room in one piece, claiming he just drank too much, River wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said. But as the moments passed, she became less and less sure why she was so worried in the first place, the memories quickly slipping from her mind without triggers around her as reminders. She took a step back from him and turned to glance at Charlie, holding out a hand for them to take if they needed it.
Charlie entered slowly, still apprehensive about facing Ash, even if they didn't know why. River had rushed over, which was probably for the best because it gave Charlie time to collect themself. They hung back until River beckoned them forward. Although River had their hand out, Charlie didn't take it. For some reason, they felt like it wasn't the best thing to do right now. "How are you feeling?" they asked Ash, still feeling awkward. They thought they'd be able to place it once they saw him, as certain pieces related to River had fallen into place, but this wasn't the case. Charlie knew they should feel guilty, but they didn't know what for.
Ash wrapped his arms around River, resting his chin gently in the crook of her shoulder with a relaxed smile as she came rushing to him. "Hey pretty girl. It's okay." He got the idea he wasn't getting the whole story, as if something had happened that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Her heart was hammering. He could feel it against his chest. He lifted his head to give Charlie a small smile too. For some reason, he felt awkward. Maybe because he'd been parading around in just his tail and hadn't been prepared for visitors, but then Charlie had seen his tail before, and he had seen their boobs. Maybe it was just because they were dating River now. "I'm feeling fine. Like, hung over as fuck, but fine. There's fresh coffee, by the way. I made so much of it."
River let her arm fall to her side when Charlie didn’t take her hand, but she chalked it up to the tension she could feel in the air. River herself was fine, but these two...her girlfriend and her best friend...they were looking at each other like they’d rather be anywhere else, but they weren’t sure why. “Oh coffee, yes please,” she said, acting as playful as she could to try to cut through these tangible awkward vibes. “I feel like I could drink a couple pots myself right now.” She felt like she had something big to tell him, but she couldn’t remember it now. The smell of coffee must have been clouding her judgement. As Ash slithered into the kitchen, River leaned back and gave Charlie a peck on the cheek. “See, I told you,” she whispered, “everything’s fine.”
Charlie nodded. "Yeah, coffee would be good." Charlie was typically more of a tea drinker, but right now they could use all the caffeine they could get. It was interesting that Ash felt hung over because from what Charlie remembered, not a lot of drinking had happened over the weekend. Then again, they didn't remember much. If they'd gotten smashed with Ash, maybe that was why they didn't remember. As River gave them a small kiss, Charlie pulled her in with an arm around the waist. Was it passing River back and forth like this that was making things awkward? They didn't think so since she seemed at ease between them. Well, as at ease as was possible given that the energy in the air. Charlie walked over to the kitchen counter, leaning against it as they watched Ash prepare the coffee. It seemed best to just be blunt. "Do you remember anything weird happening this weekend? Like, with us?"
Ash exhaled and went about making the coffee. He, of course, had a ridiculously expensive coffee machine that did just about everything you could want, but he settled for three Americanos right now. Anything strong and black would cut it. Charlie was acting strangely. They weren't even trying to hide it. He shrugged, doing his best to dismiss the feeling as he handed them a coffee. "Weird? Uh..." He couldn't remember anything weird happening. Just a strange feeling, like something might have happened in a dream. "Wait..." He looked around for River, turning even paler than usual and lowering his voice. "We didn't like, hook up or anything?"
River had decided to stay in the living room for a bit when Charlie left her side. They’d looked determined as they’d marched over to the counter, and she didn’t want to intrude on any private conversation they might need to have. Instead, she flopped on the couch and took her phone out, starting a note documenting what she’d learned about her mom so far, just in case that started to fade too. But when she heard Ash’s question, as hushed as it was, she couldn’t help but perk up a bit. She didn’t make it obvious she was listening, but she could feel her face starting to flush.
Charlie leaned back, eyes wide as they tried to remember what had happened. Hooking up would fall mostly in line with the feelings of guilt, but Charlie's guilt was directed toward Ash, not River. They were pretty sure if they had hooked up with Ash, they'd feel more guilty about what it would mean for River because her best friend and lover sleeping together would be a violation in so many ways. "I don't think so," Charlie said, glancing at River as they spoke. Based on the shade of red her face had turned, she was definitely listening. "I mean, from what I've heard, we're both good enough in bed that we'd have to remember, right?"
Ash almost dropped his coffee mug. It was usually pretty hard to fluster him about sex but if anything would do it, it was Charlie talking about the two of them so openly with River just in the living room. Their place barely even had walls. "Wh-what?" He cleared his throat, shaking his head. "No! I don't think I'd do that to River, no matter how drunk I was." He was still speaking in a hushed whisper, but probably nowhere near quiet enough for River to not overhear them, sincerely as he was trying. "I don't think anything happened, anyway. It was just the full moon making us all... wonky." He started carrying River some coffee, lightly squeezing her shoulder and then realizing he was shirtless, technically naked, as he usually was when he wandered around in his tail. "I'm gonna go put some clothes on..."
Charlie flushed as they realized a joke intended for River to overhear had made Ash so uncomfortable, but they didnt know how to apologize for it without making things worse. "Probably just weird moon stuff," Charlie agreed. "Probably nothing sexual or too bad in other ways." They couldn't put their finger on whatever it was, so if Ash couldn't either, it probably was best to just move on. When Ash made it clear he was uncomfortable with his level of clothing, Charlie looked away until he left the room. "Well this is awkward," they muttered as they fell into the couch beside River.
River felt her chest deflate as she let go of a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. They both sounded sure, and she wanted to trust them both. She did trust them both....right? No, right. She did. Of course. She jumped a little when she felt Ash’s hand on her shoulder, but she adopted a pleasant smile. “Thanks,” she said as she took the coffee before he slithered off to put some clothes on. Charlie came to settle in next to her and she immediately latched on to them, arguably with a bit of unintentional possessiveness. “It’ll be okay. He’s resilient,” she said. “You both are.” She couldn’t help the doubts suddenly streaming through her mind though. She knew it was just stupid jealousy and anxiety, not anything substantial, but it didn’t stop her heart from pounding in her chest.
Ash probably would have fucked Charlie. Once upon a time. Before River was dating them. To be honest, he hadn't tended to see them as a potential bed-mate even before that. They were a friend. You could sleep with friends, sure, and he'd have gone there if prompted, but it wasn't something he actively thought about, so why would that have changed during the full moon? It didn't make any sense. If something had happened, that wasn't it. He shrugged off those troublesome thoughts and switched back to his legs, pulling on some jeans and a casual but expensive white t-shirt. He had to steady himself before he came back. "Okay, that's... better." He exhaled, giving a smile and picking up his coffee.
Charlie reached over to take River's hand. "I think he's right," they said. "I've never really thought about him like that, and the only impulses I remember having were about you. I wanted you, River. Nothing would have changed that." They looked up as Ash came back in, wondering if they should offer to leave. "Feeling better, babe?" Charlie asked River as Ash picked up his cup. "I know you were tired in the car."
Charlie's words did work to calm River’s pounding heart and ease her worried mind, but she'd be lying if she said the doubt was completely gone. It never was, a curse in and of itself. She simply smiled up at Charlie and finally let up on her koala grip when Ash entered the room again. She frowned a little when she saw his tail was gone. She liked when he felt he could be natural around her, but she understood why he wanted to cover up at this exact moment. "Yeah, I am. Still tired though. Even this guy ain't helping much," she said, holding up the coffee before taking a sip of it. She wanted Charlie to stay, but didn't know how Ash would feel about that right now, so she didn't put an offer out on the table either way.
Charlie glanced up at Ash and addressed him, figuring they knew what River's answer would be. "Do you mind if I stay, or were you hoping for a you guys night? I can handle whatever."
Ash gave a wave of his hand, settling down onto the sofa, close enough to River, but not too close to intrude on her Charlie time. "Stay, we can make fun of our token cis." He kissed River on the temple, his old spirit returning. "And get takeout."
Charlie smiled, seeing an olive branch being offered. "Takeout sounds good," they said, squeezing River's hand. "We could do Chinese?"
River was glad things had turned out alright. She honestly couldn't even remember why she was so worked up when they'd arrived anyway, the most traumatic memories already almost gone. She had the note in her phone to remind her, but she didn't dare look at it now. "Sounds like a plan, jerks," she teased. She was happy to just spend some time with the two people she cared about most, even though a seed had been planted that perhaps had nothing to do with either of them.
“I can’t believe you’re making me watch this,” River said, watching the screen through her fingers. She wasn’t opposed to horror movies. In fact, they had planned this movie marathon night specifically around horror movies. But body horror was something River had always had a problem with, and Ash’s current pick, The Fly, was turning her stomach.
“Awww, it’s not that bad,” Ash retorted, munching on popcorn as they watched Jeff Goldblum’s skin fall off.
River just shook her head. “You drink blood. Nothing makes you squeamish.”
Ash frowned, nodding his head after a moment. “Fair. Okay, we’ll skip it. Even if you’re missing out on a classic.”
Next up was the Final Destination series, and as the movies progressed, both of them go more and more sleepy, cuddling on the huge sofa together as they were apt to do. Birds tweeting outside woke River up, and she realized they’d slept right past sunrise, Netflix asking them if they were still watching. Carefully, River removed herself from Ash, who had been leaning against her, and rested his head gently on a mound of pillows. After shutting off the TV and tugging the curtains shut so the light didn’t wake him, River bent down and gave Ash a small kiss on the forehead, brushing some hair from his face with a smile, before heading up to her room to get ready for work.
