Getting diagnosed with IBS is probably the hardest thing that's happened to me since my Mother passed away. It's painful, and inconvenient. I make jokes constantly that it's the best diet I've ever been on, and trust me, the weight loss has been nice, but I would have prefered to work out and lose half the weight in twice the time than deal with the discomfort and pain I've had to deal with in the last year.
Sometimes, it's just as simple as being constipated. Uncomfortable, absolutely, but I can carry on with my life. The daily inconvenience is the worst. I can't eat like everyone else. When going out with friends, we have to put so much consideration into where we go, so there's something I can eat that won't irritate my stomach. When I go to Disneyland, I can't just eat anywhere, and it has caused fights with my friends, when they want corn dogs and I cant' eat them, and we have to talk across the park looking for something I can digest.
And the pain. The stomach pain. Sometimes, it feels like I have the stomach flu. Just nauseated. And I just have to sip cold water and wait until it passes. I've used more sick days in the last year than I have in the 12 years I've worked prior. I've worked on sprained ankles and torn cartlidge in my knee, but now i get stomach aches so debilitating that I have go home, sometimes after only being at work for an hour. Sometimes, I just sit with my head in my little sister's lap and cry because I just want to go through one week without a stomach ache. I just want a fucking Big Mac, but I can barely eat fries sometimes.
I had it under control. For months it was mostly fine. The problem is my job now has no microwave. And so I'm stuck navigating a mall food court. And my boss, who you would think would be understanding as he's a diabetic, likes cold food, so he doesn't see the need to get a microwave. Now that I'm stuck eating crap food day in and day out, I'm in constant pain. I get the runs at least three times a week. And now I'm seeing side effects to the IBS that I didn't even know existed, let alone had experienced. Heart palpitations. Weekness from not being able to keep food in for long. Headaches. Oh my god, the headaches. I used to be someone who only got headaches during my period. Now I get them several times a week. I'm at the end of my rope. I honestly think I'm going to use any extra money earned this holiday to buy a microwave. Otherwise, I may consider going on disability, which I really don't want to do. I love my job, I love working. But I feel like crap when I'm there. The only days I feel good are my days off, when I'm eating my own cooking.
