Best Buddies and so much more.
In the fall of 2008, while pursuing additional ways through which I could beef up my resume, I roamed the tables at McMaster’s Clubsfest looking for a new club or organization to join. I must have seen dozens of groups, specializing in anything from breakdance, to equestrian sport, to global health, to photographic art.
I don’t know what the draw was initially, but I ended signing up for a club called Best Buddies. It’s an organization that pairs peer buddies and persons with developmental or intellectual disabilities in the community, to foster friendships and irreplaceable life lessons about the capacity of the human heart. It wasn’t until early December that I was matched up with Henry, a 6’7” man with wispy hair and a smile that almost never left his face. His kindness was a 2:1 ratio to his stature, and I could never forget the instantaneous warmth I felt the minute I met him.
Henry and I went on to be buddies until he suddenly passed away in his sleep in the fall semester of my third year. We had a friendship grounded in bowling dates, dinner parties, and long walks, and the honour I felt to have known him while standing in the corner of the room hosting the celebration of his life, among his countless friends and family, still squeezes my heart in ache sometimes.
In my fourth year, I was paired up with someone new, a fella named Charles who had a distinct way of answering everything in threes. The conviction in his voice was always smile-worthy, and our friendship quickly grew to be based on honesty and quiet companionship. Living with his father Frank, I naturally gained an extra buddy out of coming over for dinner, and listened patiently at the joy and sometimes hardships Frank described of raising a 30 year-old son with autism.
Graduating from McMaster this past spring meant a goodbye to the McMaster chapter of Best Buddies, Community Living Hamilton and L’Arche Hamilton, the community day programs affiliated with BB. Upon coming to the University of Ottawa and roaming the tables at their clubs fair, the intent with which I sought out the Best Buddies table this year was a stark contrast to my nonchalant stumble-upon with Best Buddies four years ago. I knew what I was looking for, because Best Buddies had become engrained into my life, making me more patient, understanding, and appreciative of the simple things that could evoke laughter. It had stopped being a simple resume line the minute I shook hands with Henry.
Tonight I returned from a wonderful dinner evening out with Rachel, a fellow Best Buddies member here at uOttawa, her buddy Dorothy, and my new buddy Jim. The two of them live in a L’Arche community home called Wabana with three others, all colourfully and eerily accurately described in Joanne Laucius’ Ottawa Citizen article. Whereas I had interacted with Henry and Charles often on an individual basis, I find myself visiting Wabana and just enjoying hearing the candidly funny things said while dinner is prepared among the group. The community feel outlined in detail in the article is not hard to find sitting down at their dinner table. Though the core members range in age from 32 to 75, watching the five of them interact is like watching 5 distinct siblings sharing an evening. The way they help each other, they way they encourage each other is a Hallmark life lesson that all of us need to learn more often.
If you’ve read to the bottom of this article, I really encourage to continue reading the Citizen article as well, and to browse through the beautiful pictures attached. And if there is a chapter of either L’Arche or Best Buddies in your community, I strongly encourage you to dedicate a few hours every week or so in changing someone’s life, inasmuch they will undoubtedly change yours.
