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MIKE RIPPING OFF THE BAND-AID

inspired by this post.

considering how will went from acting extremely disinterested in the whole “girlfriend drama” in s3 to actively making an effort to listen to mike and help him fix his relationship with eleven in s4, it wouldn’t be really that surprising if mike thought this was another way of confirming he lost will.

mike realized he might not love el the way he was supposed to at the same time he also realizes how much will actually meant to him. he realized he didn’t actually want to “grow up” if it meant losing will. all in that same day that he left. he then doesn’t hear from him for a year, none of them reach out to the other and the day before he’s going to visit he finds out will likes someone, a girl, and he’s painting for her. when he used to be the one who kept all his drawings.

and mike feels extremely lost. he knows he doesn’t love el the way she wants him to, but he’s scared of breaking up with her. he’s scared of losing her. he’s also terrified of his own feelings for will. he couldn’t risk telling will the truth, because that would mean he could never turn back. if he admitted he didn’t love her, all hopes for him to ever be normal would be lost, it would be over for good… but when will tells him to stop staring at her last letter, he drops it immediately.

truth is, he wants will to give him an out. he wants will to want him and el breaking up. he doesn’t want will liking some girl, painting for her, pushing mike back to his relationship with el like any good friend would. he wants back the will he used to know. the will he thought would understand, would go “crazy together” with. and he thinks he almost did, will’s painting in his hands, watching his best friend bathed in sunlight, talking to him about a type of love he’s never felt while he was with el. thinking, hoping, deep down, “please let it be him. please tell me this is coming from him. please tell me he feels that way too” another chance, the last one.

until it isn’t, because el is dying in front of him and will is telling him that he’s the heart and that she needs him. and will is saying this because he believes it. because it’s true. all hopes that will could ever be like him, want him back, love him like that… all of that is gone in a second. will moved on, “grew up”, mike lost him and he has to accept it. he has to rip off the bandaid. there’s no way out of it now, so he lies again. goes back to el. he has to help her, and this might be the only way. there’s nothing else he can do.