certified sex hater

kickthepj fan account

[passionpeachy]

orange turtle 🍊 lightly salted

[apjvff]

this site is gonna get deleted tonight. supposed to be secret. but now you know.

[thelibrawrian-deactivated201912]

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

[tehzii]

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

[zazzedcoffee]

Who would win?

🐎

🦀

Voting ended onFeb 5, 2023

[zazzedcoffee]

voter fraud, GO!

🐎

🐎

Remaining time: 16999 days 20 hours

[brokenpostarchive]

Notes:

Second poll will remain open until 50 years from publishing

Bot options share a UUID, making a vote for either count for both

Previously, a vote in the first poll counted for both options in the second

A vote for the second poll increases the vote count for both polls, despite the first ostensibly being closed

[muntiller2]

What the fuck does the back end of this website look like

[fuckblast]

Say you'll stay with me blogging until the horse poll closes

[pseudophan]

How am I STILL seeing discourse about not pressuring Dan and Phil to get married on Twitter 😭

oh for the love of god they want us to speculate about this that's their entire aim with this. it's probably tour segment related somehow but regardless what it is it could not be any more obvious that they want us to talk about it

hell i'll take it a step further and say i think the reason they made a big deal out of not wanting to get married when hard launching in the first place wasn't to stop speculation, it was to start it. dan and phil are not stupid and they've been on the internet long enough to know that repeatedly announcing to the world how much you aren't getting married is not gonna do anything but make people theorise you're getting married. we can't speculate about the nature of their relationship anymore so they pivoted because they know what keeps this fandom more alive than anything else, and marriage is not some sacred thing to them that they care about enough to be bothered that we're in their business

will they actually get married? who knows! i mean personally i think yes like i think they're probably doing some marriage/wedding related tour segment and then getting married At Some Point after the tour. bonus points of the tour segment is specifically about how they aren't getting married. and i think they will exploit the fuck out of those wedding photos for instagram likes and another popbase feature because again marriage is just not that deep to them and they're addicted to the dramatics and attention of it all

[aropride]

if i was rich i would just go around giving people $20 all the time. i would walk down the street just giving people $20 if they needed money. hang around street corners and bus stops like a drug dealer but for a free $20. if someone made a good post or a post that made me giggle i'd cashapp them $20. so on and so forth

[apjvff]

If you don’t let go of your prejudices and past grudges, your heart won’t blossom. 2013 is coming, let’s make a change. We only have one planet so let’s show each other some kindness.

[crowboy-bebop]

2013 is coming… let’s show each other some kindness…

[thememedaddy]

[mamoru]

🇺🇸december 26, 2025🇺🇸: oreos distributed by gold star distribution inc. recalled in 3 states for insanitary storage and contamination with general filth including rodent piss and shit, bird shit, insects, and possibly salmonella and leptospira

[gumi-megpoidd]

[endophagia-moved]

the erasure of the rape element in mythological retellings is so heinous it borders on misogyny

[avicecaro]

it’s the idea that because rape as an act is misogyny, that talking about rape or including it in stories is also misogyny. as if acknowledging that women were denied agency and dignity somehow further denies us agency and dignity. when really, acknowledging the ways women were/are denied agency and dignity affirms that we are entitled to these things. a feminist story isn’t just a story in which no bad things happen to women. bad things do happen to women. pretending they don’t, and especially trying to superimpose that conviction onto the past, just because it isn’t as fun to dwell on, is not a feminist position.

[rhapsodyxvi]

man what the fuck ever

[rhapsodyxvi]

like i get it. i get that these are logical names that mean things. but you can't just say "i'm installing numpy" and not expect me to do a double take. poob has it for you

[juniper776]

if you tell a trans woman she is "enforcing passing culture" by wanting to pass and expressing it i honestly hope nothing good happens in your life ever after that

[foxxxighost]

Crazy that once I'm passing and starting to feel good about myself, fake allies are trying to tell me that being bricked tf out is actually the best.

[kayla-denker]

This is why I'll never shut up about the part of Whipping Girl where Serano says we gotta stop calling it "passing." It pretty directly accuses us of 'hiding' or 'fooling people into thinking we're women.' We aren't "passing as women," we are women, we're being correctly gendered as women. When people deride us for "passing", they're blatantly saying that they don't think we're women. Afterall, nobody says cis women "pass as women" when they're correctly gendered as women.

[tilthat]

TIL Ray Bradbury first titled Fahrenheit 451 “The Fireman”, then called a local fire station to ask what temperature it would take to actually ignite books. The responding firemen placed him on hold and burnt a book, then reported that the heat required was “Fahrenheit 451″.

via reddit.com

[fourlughero]

That’s such a fire fighter thing to do.

“You know what? That’s a good question. I’m gonna put you on hold while I find out”

[verdigrisvagabond]

My dad used to design kitchens at Lowe’s and one day he got a dude from one of the national labs looking to buy a countertop. Dad sent him home with a sample of a quartz-composite countertop to make sure the color will look good with his existing cabinets. The dude asks my dad what the composition of the countertop is and whether it’ll melt if he puts a pot on it (since it’s a composite and not pure stone) and Dad gives him some rough numbers and reassures him that it won’t melt if he puts a hot pan on the counter. The dude comes back with week later without the sample. The dude gives dad a detailed list of the countertops composition, to the nearest hundredth of a percentile, and the exact temperature it melts at, because he took it to his lab and melted it down. tldr, it’s not just firefighters.

[kaijuunibyou]

Imagine giving someone a sample of the granite you use to make countertops and they come back a few days later just to tell you they fucking dematerialized it

[ferrous-princess]

Ok, but this is just, like, what people do if they have access to equipment. We just… put shit in it. Just to see. At this point, I’ll try and hit just about anything with an arc, just to see. I’ll sand and polish anything you’ll let me, if I’m bored enough. If I had a machine that could melt something down and tell me exactly what was in it? I’d be just waiting for parts of my world to become “trash” so I could de-materialize it and turn it into knowledge of what it was.

[aropride]

people’s eyes in ads these days have been getting really blue recently. Has anyone else noticed this

[casgirl]

[arohog]

i draw a character as a trans woman and multiple ppl go "wow 🥺🥺 they/them genderfucked king" what if i killed all of you

[arohog]

idk man rule of thumb if i say a character is transmasc you use he/him unless specified otherwise if i say a character is transfem you use she/her unless specified otherwise. also happened with the last scourge piece i drew because he didnt have top surgery, people cant be normal abt trans characters

[diphowell]

2021 + 2026

[eptck]

IM SO TIRED OF SO MANY THINGS ABOUT DISABILITY BEING IN PRIMARY COLORS & CUTE BUBBLE TEXT

IM SO TIRED OF CAPTIONS AUTO-CENSORING CURSES & VIDEO CREATORS TRYING TO CIRCUMVENT THE ALGORITHM BY LEAVING PEOPLE OUT OF WHAT THEYRE ACTUALLY SAYING

IM SO TIRED OF FORCED BEDTIMES IN CARE HOMES & FORCED CELIBACY & SOBERNESS BY CAREGIVERS

WE ARE NOT CHILDREN . WE ARE ADULTS . WE CUSS AND FUCK AND DRINK AND DO DRUGS AND WE LIKE ADULT THINGS . HORROR MOVIES AND BOOKS AND SHOWS ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE . TREAT US LIKE ADULTS OR I'LL CUT YOU

[merrikiwi]

Btw i discovered recently that youtube subtitles censoring swears is based on the creators side of things.

It is turned on by default and id really like it to become more common for youtubers to turn it off. Its a fairly burried setting.

But i think a lot more creators should turn it off because of the above reasons. But also i think its an assumed default so people dont think to check if they have any control over it (myself included)