writing prompt: cisco and wally try to pull a lighthearted prank on iris, things don't go as planned
“Holy shit.”
“You said that.”
“Holy fucking shit.”
“You said that, too,” Wally nods resolutely. In times of crisis, he likes to make a little game of tallying the amount of swears Cisco can fit into a minute. Last count, 23.
Cisco turns on him, “Dude, this is bad. She’s gonna kill us. I’m talking actual double hom.”
Wally studies the boots before him. Iris’s boots. Thigh high leather ones, one of them filled to the brim with shaving cream.
He looks back at Cisco, “Maybe since I’m her brother she won’t kill me,” he shrugs, “I might be at an age where she still finds me cute.”
Cisco looks incredulous, “You’re 22.”
Wally shrugs again, “She missed my kid years, who knows-”
“So you’re just gonna hang me out to dry? Dude, this was your fault!”
“Um, you’re the one who said fill her Jimmy Choos with shaving cream. So..”
Cisco blinks, several times, and so quickly that if Wally weren’t a speedster it would look like he’d never blinked at all.
“I said,” Cisco starts, stretching his mouth wide as he over enunciates every syllable, “fill her tennis shoes with shaving cream. TENNIS SHOES, Wally! I leave the room for five seconds..”
Oh. “Ah. Well…maybe we can replace them. What do these run for, like $100?”
“Add $800.”
Wally’s heart falls out of his ass. “What?!” He grabs his head in both hands, “Holy shit she’s gonna full fucking kill us.”
“You knew they were Jimmy Choos but you didn’t know how much they cost?”
“Listen-”
“Guys…”
“Fuck!” The two shout in unison, spinning to see the face of their shared doom.
“What are you doing in my closet?” Iris laughs, light but cautious. “Cisco, I told you the jacket has a women’s fit, it won-”
“Th-hat’s not-” Cisco chuckles forcedly shooting a glare at Wally’s questioning gaze “-I mean I’m kind of hippy I still might-”
“Dude,” Wally jabs him in the side.
“-Right that’s not why we’re here. Weeeeeee…” he holds the word out for about five more seconds “..ee were just here to tell you…how much..we love you.
Wally nods wordlessly.
Iris’s brow creases downward, but the smile still stays on her face. Then, her brow smoothes, “Aww, you guys.” She moves forward to pull them into a hug.
Wally and Cisco respond in kind, her head coming to rest in the space between theirs as they envelop her.
For all of half a second before she’s slipping through them.
“A-HA!” she shouts, lofting the offended shoe at them. “I knew you two were up to something with the way you were dodging me this morning. ‘Get out of the house Iris!’ ‘Yeah, go get a pedicure Iris, my treat!’”
“Iris we can explain,” Wally starts.
“Yeah Iris, your brother-”
“Wow,” Wally gapes at him.
“Cindy would be so sad if I died. And Barry.”
Wally chimes, “I’m your baby brother, your own flesh and blood!”
Cisco adds “Well Joe said once that I was like the nephew he never really wanted but loves anyway-”
“We ain’t cousins-”
“HEY!” Iris’s voice slices through their bickering, and Wally and Cisco’s mouths click shut. They await their fate.
Iris holds a glare for 9 years-or, however long it takes Wally’s stomach to growl and for him to consider grabbing a quick pre-death meal-before her expression wobbles and she does something he doesn’t expect.
She starts cracking the hell up.
“Uh..” Cisco shoots a glance at Wally as Iris keels over.
“You-” Iris wheezes between fits of laughter- “you know I’ve b-been standing behind the d-door for like…” she drops the shoe to cover her face with her hands, takes a breath, “ten minutes? I drove home, the second I knew something was up.”
They don’t get the chance to respond before she’s continuing, “First of all, dingbats, Barry told me all about your little plan.”
“Barry,” Cisco grumbles under his breath.
“Second…” she picks up the shoe again, “These aren’t Jimmy Choos. They’re just…shoes. They were like 30 bucks. Ain’t nobody got the funds right now to be dropping a whole grand on shoes.”
Cisco coughs abruptly, then turns a glare at Wally, “Why’d you think they were Jimmy Choos?”
Wally shakes his head, “They’re nice…looking….look dude, I only saw The Devil Wears Prada once.”
Cisco’s head cocks to the side, but he says nothing.
“I can’t believe you two ruined your own prank,” Iris says, cracking up again.
“So…” Wally says, “You’re not gonna kill us?”
“Oh, no,” Iris chuckles, shaking her head. “You are gonna clean out my shoe.”
“Yes ma’am,” Cisco says with a salute.
“And,” she adds after a pause for thought, she’s got an evil glint in her eye that Wally doesn’t like the look of, “One more thing.”
Barry’s not sure what he expected to find when he opened the door to his and Iris’s loft.
That said, Wally frowning in concentration as he tentatively applies red polish to his fianceé’s toes was probably not even on the list. Right along with Cisco standing behind her, carefully setting big rollers in her hair.
