#warhammer imagines

[emps-with-a-steel-chair]

At some point being married to Konrad Curze you'll have a "hey, what's in your mouth?" And "WHY ARE YOU CHEWING FASTER. KONRAD, SPIT IT OUT!" moment.

[myresin]

I was bored so I drew my interpretation of that one post where I talked about Curz’s daughter drawing a picture of him as the Night Haunter, and how he’d hang it up in the background of his skinning videos.

And he’d be hella covetous over it; like it would NEED to be there every filming after. Girl could be dead and he’d still insist that be there.

[damoclesdarling]

squad damocles hand holding hcs!!! i love these three so much

꒰sᴍ𝟸 ᴛʀɪᴏ ʜᴄs! - ʜᴏʟᴅɪɴɢ ʜᴀɴᴅs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ s/ᴏ꒱ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

ah how sweet and heartwarming!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ pls hold these guys close, the horrors of the 40k universe must do numbers to their mental,,, id faint even seeing a cherub HSAJK- 

Gadriel

Tries to be nonchalant about it. 'Oops, didn't mean to touch your hand..' type deal.

You don't buy it for a moment, though. If it was such an accident, why is it happening for the third time this week?

After a few more attempts at playing the cool guy facade, you go ahead and make the first move. 

"You're so cute, Gadriel." You shoot him a knowing look, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Oh, and that was an accident, too." 

You'd run away, leaving the space marine behind. 

Next time you wouldn't get away that easy. He'd grab your hand just before you would take off, and offer a rare smile. 

Bonus points if Chairon happens to be walking by when it all goes down. He is NEVER gonna let him live that one down! "Oi, Lover Boy." 

Chairon

A lot more straightforward than Gadriel. Who knows if he'll be here tomorrow? He makes it a point to tell you how he feels before it's too late.

Chairon holds your hands, one of his more than enough to encompass both of yours. He'll bring them to his face, your knuckles feeling the texture of his surprisingly soft lips.

He's a romantic at heart, one in a million in this world. Will pick you an exotic flower from whatever plant he was dispatched to. (This may or may not have lead to a fire in the barge. Captain Acheran scolded him about "getting laid at th expense of his brothers.")

 He now settles for pretty rocks. A radiation risk waiting to happen, but I digress.

"I made sure to thoroughly clean off the guts this time." Chairon would lean against the door, surprising you with an early return. "I and don't just mean myself."

Titus

Imagine you're out assisting his squad on a mission. (Okay, lore accurate maybe not but work with me here. ;;) You hang back, providing fire from behind Titus, picking off any snipers. 

You're too concentrated on your lover that you failed to notice the two hormagaunts jumping for your skull. 

Titus, the knight in shining blueberry armor he is, rushes over to your rescue. He throws the first tyranid to the dirt, stomping it flat. You heard its thorax collapse under the weight of his boot, it's structure cracking and crumbling like rotten wood. 

Once that was dealt with, Titus snatched the second bug out of the air. He put his hands on either side of its head, plunging his thumbs into it's now oozing eye sockets. As you fell backwards, your lover ripped the monster in half. The sight of it's organs stretching to accommodate the tear; it almost made you throw up.

"Are you alright?" Titus dropped the corpse to the ground, forgetting it in favor of you. You gazed up at him, your bloodied protector held out a hand for you to take. 

And that's the story of how you first held hands with Titus. It was a lot more romantic to the man then it was to you. 

[emps-with-a-steel-chair]

Going for a nature walk with Horus ends up becoming a family outing with the mournival. This was supposed to be a romantic outing. Now you have four idiots and Abaddon trying to see who can catch a fish barehanded in the river.

They catch nothing. You make them dinner anyways. At least they're lovable idiots.

[emps-with-a-steel-chair]

So to piggyback of being short around your primarch spouse, picture being short around your step gene-sons.

Some are going to be real respectful. Others? They'll think it's the funniest thing.

The mournival got real sassy one week and started to squat to talk to you. They even had Horus doing it for a while. Torgaddon laid down one day so you'd have the high ground for once. No one got dessert that week.

The space wolves will pick you up physically to remove you from a situation they don't like you in.

Titus will kneel on one knee to discuss things with you if the conversation goes on for too long. The other ultramarines started to do it as well. Roboute thinks it's a reasonable action.

Dante once pulled a chair to sit in while you chatted. Just to be at eye level with his gene-mother. Seth got you a step stool. Sanguinius had to hold back a snort.

The salamanders will get you things from shelves you can clearly reach. They also made you one of those grabby claw things.

[emps-with-a-steel-chair]

Would you be so kind as to grace us with some headcanons about primarch body composition? Like who has the broadest shoulders, who's rockin the best tits, which one is sporting the fattest ass, etc? And maybe how they react to very direct compliments from us about each feature 😌

(Also your blog is hilarious I love it here. Thanks for all your postings!)

I gotcha.

CW: slightly spicy

Lion El'Jonson

Has a very nice back.

"You should be shirtless more often." You teased, running a hand up and down his back while he tried to get dressed, swatting his shirt away. Lion let out a small grumble, with a slight pink hue touching his cheeks.

"Control yourself. Was last night not enough?"

"Of you? Never."

Fulgrim

Incredibly soft skin

Fulgrim was partially asleep in your lap as you gently stroked his face. He cracked one eye open to see you grinning down at him.

"You have such soft skin. It's like silk."

Fulgrim grinned up at you, waking a bit more, and pulling you down for a smooch.

Perturabo

The best ass. Caked up on a Tuesday.

"Stop that." He scolded, his back turned to you.

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're staring again-" A firm hand landed on his ass. He groaned, attempting to swat it away. Face flustered, unable to understand your obsession with it.

"It's not my fault. It beckons me with its wonders." You reply, dodging his swats to get two playful handfuls. "I've never seen an ass so fine."

"You're lucky I love you." He mumbled, grabbing you and placing you on his workbench so you'd be out of reach.

Jaghatai Khan

Has gorgeous long hair

He takes it as the highest compliment when you begin to ask to braid his hair. You looked at it in wonder when he removed it from its ties, hands running through it.

"Jag, this is gorgeous. I wish my hair was like this."

"Thank you, my love, but I prefer how lovely yours is."

Leman Russ

Stomach

Leman knew true flattery when one of the few spots you could actually fall asleep on was his stomach. You loved how soft it was and kissed it gently before drifting off. He tried his best not to move for hours as you slept on him.

Rogal Dorn

His forearms.

Rogal had the habit of pushing up his sleeves when he was focusing on building plans, displaying those wonderful full arms. You told him over and over again how attractive they were. Rogal brushed the compliments off at first, but they did make his day.

Konrad Curze

Much to everyone's surprise, the softest hands

"Konrad, how the hell are your hands so soft?" You asked in wonder, running your hands over his. Konrad squirmed at the unfamiliar compliment. He had only grabbed you to move you out of the way.

He hissed at you in an attempt at intimidation.

Sanguinius

Long legs

You had a tendency to whistle when he walked by, as well as an exaggerated head movement. He always knew why. You had always been a fan of his legs.

"Long and lovely," you had called them, causing his face to burn a deep shade of red.

Ferrus Manus

Great shoulders

Ferrus had to temporarily ban you from his forge for a week. He had taken his shirt off while working on a difficult build, sweating up a storm.

One look at him and you turned into a hound. Touching and kissing his shoulders. Complimenting them. Little work had gotten done that day. Nor the next. Or the day after. He didn't understand why you loved them so much... He also wasn't complaining either.

The only reason he banned you was to get some work done. Granted, his sons did little to stop you from entering.

Angron

Hands

You always held them so gently in yours. Weapons of war and death. Yet you always treated them like the finest glassware. Kissing them gently when the nails weren't biting, whispering sweet tunes to him. Angron doubted you immensely. He also wasn't going to stop you either.

Roboute Guilliman

soft lips

You had found out the first time you two had kissed that Roboute had very soft lips. He hadn't understood why you were jealous! They never chapped or cracked. They were just in a constant state of softness.

No effort needed on his end.

The main benefit was the constant stream of kisses you supplied to him. Walking by? Smooch. Reading? Smooch. Roboute loved it.

Mortarion

has the best puppy/doe eyes

Mortarion often looked annoyed, his face constantly in a glare. You were very well aware. One day, in a moment of peace in his garden, he hit you with the softest doe eyes while showing you new growth. Soft and gentle.

It made you melt.

You made it your mission to tell him and boost that confidence. He doubts you every time, yet tries not to look as annoyed around you.

Magnus

His Biceps

Magnus flexed his biceps once for you. ONCE. A switch had flipped in you.

"I need you to do that again."

"Why?"

"Magnus, I need you to know how attractive that is."

"Nonsense."

He did lightly misuse this newfound ability, walking around sleeveless to catch your attention and draw you away from your work. It worked every time.

Horus Lupercal

Phenomenal thighs

You nearly went feral the first time you saw them. Horus' thighs were like sculpted marble. It took all your willpower not to try to bite them. You failed. You failed terribly, leaving markings everywhere.

And Horus? Oh, Horus loved it. Loved how you admired him.

Lorgar Aurelian

prettiest eyes

Lorgar had been talking to you about something probably important. Not that it mattered much anyway. The only thing that had your attention was his eyes. They shone like amber and honey in the light.

"Mesmerizing."

"War isn't mesmerizing, love."

"Not war. Your eyes. Lorgar, they're very pretty."

He flushed, and you remembered several of his sons stood around you as well.

Vulkan

Pectorals

He laughed as your hands found their way under his shirt again, rubbing up and down his chest.

"Dove, you're going to tire me out, or finally rip this shirt off of me"

"I can live with you being shirtless."

"I'm aware of that, but it would make it awkward for others."

"I can live with that too."

Corvus Corax

Soft hair

"I don't know how you get your hair so soft, Corv. It's wonderful." You adored him, running your hands through his hair. He had let you brush it out.

"It's nothing special." He mumbled. If this had been when you first started dating, he would've shunk to the shadows. Luckily, he stayed.

"I disagree. It's quite nice. I'd love to have hair this soft"

"Your hair is perfect, dear."

You beamed, leaning down, giving him a quick peck on the forehead.

Alpharius Omegon

Cute nose

You had both of them resting their head on you. One on your legs, the other in your lap. They lingered in and out of consciousness. You, however, had given up on knitting. Instead, you studied their faces. Their brows. Cheekbones. But you really enjoyed their noses, handsomely curved. It suited them well.

"You two have very cute noses."

"No," Alpharius grumbled.

"Agreed," Omegon spoke.

"I'm glad you agree with me," You replied, knowing damn well he was agreeing with his brother. They both rolled their eyes tiredly.

"You have bad taste."

"Apparently, I have great taste."

---

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[emps-with-a-steel-chair]

You had strictly discussed that no nonsense was to happen when you and Abaddon were gone. Nothing. What did they do? Utter nonsense. You came back to several pieces of furniture missing, Loken with a broken arm, Aximond with a black eye, and the other lunar wolves refusing to meet your eyes like guilty dogs. Most likely from other things you hadn't found. Which is why you were now discussing it with the remaining mournival and Horus.

And by discussing, you'd had the four of them lined up for a lecture. An hour-long one. The remaining Lunar wolves standing behind, waiting for their turn.

But it was Tarik who was currently holding in a snicker while you were wagging a rolled-up stack of paper at Horus. He had an idea. A terrible, hilarious idea. Loken and Aximond shot him a questioning look before catching a similar bout of giggles, as if they knew what he was thinking.

"What is so fu-" Tarik Torgaddon partially squatted down, hands on his knees, to meet you at eye level as if talking to a child.

"Sorry, Mum. I figured I'd... get down to your level to understand the issue at hand. I don't want to fall short of understanding."

There was an audible moment of silence. The lunar wolves were distancing themselves from the mournival and your husband, memorizing the details of the carpets.

"Get down... to my level?" You spoke calmly.

"Yes, mum."

"Because I'm short?"

"Yes."

"Interesting... very interesting... Abaddon?"

"Yes, Mother?"

"Take his moustache." You replied, and for a brief moment, they saw the only look of amusement that had ever crossed Abaddon's face, and Tarik knew fear.

"With pleasure."

[emps-with-a-steel-chair]

Random Primarch thoughts and rambles Wednesday

Tw: period talk and some mild mentions of nsfw topics

Perturabo would slowly turn into the least caring primarch about their spouses to I love my spouse and would burn the world for them very fast. Don't let the rumbles and grumbles fool you. He cares and worries about you constantly.

Konrad got very confused about periods when you first got together. Offered to slay it for you the moment he found out it causes you pain. Very disappointed that he couldn't.

Speaking on periods, Sanguinius on the other hand got a little too excited about it. You've never seen his face get that tomato red that fast. Tease him about it and he'll crumble.

Lion will deny that he snores until his death. Man has the cartoonish rumble snore imaginable. You've very much contemplated hearing protection or tossing a pillow on his face before.

Roboute will often ignore the vegetables on his plate. You didn't notice at first until Tarasha informed you. Now you both are on a campaign to get this man to eat his carrots.

Horus while being bald is hairy everywhere else. Laying on his chest is like laying on a carpet, constantly avoiding breathing in hair.

Rogal likes his foods kept separate and was honestly worried about telling you. He didn't want to offend you or your cooking.

Mortarion will bring new houseplants home. Then he'll pretend they've been there the entire time. Mortarion, please there's only so much space.

Angron, when the nails aren't biting, loves quiet afternoons when he can just rest his head in your lap. The world is better like this.

Alpharius and Omegon love pranking you. However, you've caught on and have roped in random astartes to help. Or at least you hope so. It could be Alpharius playing along to prank Omegon.

Corvus is another one who loves lazy snuggling. Even better when it's a rainy afternoon. He'll pull you in tight.

Ferrus will make you trinkets constantly. Didn't expect you to keep them all. Was secretly touched when you started displaying the them.

Fulgrim loves to make clothing for you. It's one of his favorite past times. His beloved in fabulous clothes? It's divine to him.

Vulkan is a snacker. Constantly has some form of sweet treat on him. Don't worry he always keeps some for you as well. It's a habit his sons have as well. Mention you're hungry once and will be met with a salamander buffet.

Leman once got fleas from the wolves. Then his sons caught them. Soon they ended up in your bed. Ever chase around astartes to give them flea baths? They learned real fast that day that you are not to be underestimated.

Jaghatai loves horses. Will come home with a new horse randomly. Knows all their names and what they like. Whole personality report. Expects you to know as well. What if something happened to him and you had to care for them?

Lorgar gets jealous when you spend a lot of time with his sons and not him. He knows it's silly and he does love that you all get along. Lorgar just wants you for himself.

Magnus will drop hints about a topic he'd like for you to learn. Random books on the topic pile up around the house. He'll make off hand comments and kind of side eye you. He really just wants someone to yap about it with but doesn't want to press you on the matter.