#warning: rant

[strawberriesoup]

okay, so as a new fanfic writer (like seriously i hadn’t written anything besides school essays before this blog) THERE ARE A FEW CONFESSIONS I HAVE TO MAKE.

(rant below the cut)

first of all, writing 10 or 20k fics seems completely unachievable for me, and i consider a 6k fic a long fic (based on my writing) so, i’m really working on making each fic longer and better than the last

SECOND OF ALL. this one is actually embarrassing. okay SO i don’t know if you can tell by my writing, but i have not experienced so much as a KISS in my life. so i feel like an imposter writing even the smallest bit of physical affection in my fics. and this is definitely not to say i’m innocent (y’all would know lol) but it’s just not something i’m totally comfortable with writing! which isn’t to say i won’t write it, i just have insane imposter syndrome.

on a related note, i love love LOVE world building and lore (rubs hands together in zombie apocalypse au) and i worry that if the story isn’t necessarily love story centric that nobody will read it

ANYWAYS. these are the main reasons i haven’t been feeling much motivation recently, but i am so back and currently cooking up my little felix fic ‼️

(@jisunggy @fly-you-dam-fools you two are what keep me going ily ❤️)

[stopaskingme]

not afraid to say the last scene pissed the hell out of me. did Xiao heng survive to return to her? how? The visuals from the battle clearly showed he was outnumbered and ready to face his death. they didn't show his face either, which is a cop out because seeing his reaction to reuniting with her would make it real. while this drama wants to keep the ending ambiguous.*

(*I heard there was a special epilogue? but it's not included in the original run, so I am discounting it.) not to mention, we only ever see A-Li in full red in those flashback fantasies with Shen Yurong; you know the one where he be playing the flute and she's dancing and pleasantly entranced in the harmonious love they shared.

it's an idealistic moment, which probably never happened, and is there to serve as a symbol of 'when times were good' between the two of them.

so, taking all that into account, and in the final scene, A-Li is wearing all red, AND, she'd explicitly discussed her plans if Xiao Heng died in battle and never returned ("I'll wear my hair up like a widow for the rest of my life," she told Jiang Yuanbai.) - I absolutely read this scene as a reunion in heaven. She's in her full red, and we never see his face even as he comes charging in on a horse; white jade cat dangling from his belt.

it's a joyous reunion in death. and I hate this for them because everything in the writing was signposting as happily ever after for the couple. This ending was most definitely drawn up to get people talking, even after the show ends, but it betrays the spirit of the show so much that I'm just pissed.

you can argue that the Dai kingdom took Xiao Heng alive, and somehow, the Emperor brought Xiao Heng back for this triumphant reunion. But that would be reaching.

Textually, it's absolutely implied that Xiao Heng does not make it. Even if the overwhelming enemy soldiers do not convince you, Lu Jin and Wen Ji's death should.

Sigh.

Su-guogong, su-guogong. After your dramatic entry in the first episode, the way you endeared yourself to the audience with your thirst for drama and then the way you and A-Li made us kick our feet when you started to fall in love and flirt. what an utter fucking waste.

[iwasborn4this]

tmnt idw comics (rant) (spoiler warning for this whole post)

for the record i am a new tmnt fan. rise was the first version i saw literally just last year. i started the 2012 show (i stopped on season 2 for no particular reason but plan on continuing it soon) and then recently picked up the idw comics after seeing a lot of people say it was the best iteration of the turtles. and what do you know i fucking loved it. i started the main series about a week ago and now i’m on issue 127. i should’ve been doing college work, but it was so good i couldn’t stop reading. i became obsessed.

however all good things must come to an end because it got kinda ?? bad ?? after issue 105. absolutely loved issues 1 through 105. the down time after issue 100 was definitely needed, and i totally appreciated the turtles getting time to grieve and break down and pick themselves back up during 101-105. but then the whole mutant town arc Really started and it felt like the tone of the whole comic shifted very drastically ??? i usually love when side characters get some attention for a bit but now it kinda feels like they’re getting too much attention. specially the kids, i don’t find the weasels very likable and i think lita should get just a bit less attention. specially did not like the decision to have big lita come from the future and Say Plot Points At Them (im also completely ignoring her comment about leo and koya of all people. what ??? who made this decision). and it’s been getting gradually worse from there. i’m currently on issue 127 like i said and it just feels like the comic has some downtime and then it never picked back up. commander zom literally died on issue 126 and i didn’t feel any type of way about it except “well that was underwhelming”. shredder astral projecting to whisper in people’s ears is kinda weird. what even happened !!! how did the quality of the story-telling change so drastically !!! i wish i was better at identifying what specifically i dislike, and better at articulating it and explaining myself but yeah.

about specific characters:

- what’s up with casey. he kinda sucks now. started sucking after the breakup i feel like. i don’t need april and casey to get back together or anything but i feel like his character started getting meh after that and now we never see him and when we do he’s…. uhhh

- leo and raph’s independent emotional arcs make sense, i just wish there was more going on like there used to be before. love mikey starting a radio show, more of that please (this ties back in with me wanting more of the conflict with the outside of mutant town as well). and is it just me or is donnie not doing much of anything rn ??

- jennika: i’ve seen a lot of people complain about her but i actually quite like her. i think it makes sense that she would get a lot of focus from the story right after her mutation, and that we get to see her struggling with being a mutant and splinter’s death as well. i also don’t dislike the idea of her having an older sister dynamic with the other turtles, i just hope the narrative doesn’t overstep her place in the story. like i hope the story doesn’t start treating her like she’s on the same level as the og 4, or that she’s actually their older sister or something. maybe later on but currently it doesn’t feel like she’s known them for that long or is close enough with them for the sister thing to really work. and as for the 5th turtle thing just in general i don’t think introducing more turtles in any iteration is inherently a bad idea, i just don’t think it can work if you try to put said 5th turtle on the same level as the other four. it just feels wrong. but anyway

well that was longer than i wanted it to be. if someone actually bothered to read this post let me know what you think!! also i’m not totally caught up yet, does the story pick up again during the armageddon game arc ??? looking forward to it if so. i've been reading only the main series so far (oops, i'll get around to the other stuff i promise) but once the armageddon game arc starts i'll definitely read all of the (armageddon game-related) material chronologically

[scythesms]

What inspiration do you draw on for your family? From media, history, other simblrs, etc? Super curious!

thank you for asking this!!

Inspiration behind my legacy came from wanting to portray Black people in American history that are more than their trauma without dismissing it entirely.

I have an unreasonable amount of trust in media. I created a reference list of historical movies, series, and books from every era dating back to the 19th century with a focus on Black Americans. This helps me with slang, fashion, family dynamics, and sooo much more.

As for history, I have many many many bookmarked resources for references and accuracy from highlighted issues and landmarks within the black community throughout the last century and all-black towns & colleges to historical buildings & interior and writing historically accurate (i'm trying) letters.

Every single decades simblr account that I follow is an inspiration for my own gameplay in some way. The difference in creators, their sims, and storytelling, especially, motivate me to be a part of it all lmk if you'd like a recommendation or two

[deesi-academia]

I ABSOLUTELY HATE DEPENDING ON OTHERS. AND THEN THE CONSTANT "I DID THIS FOR YOU AND YOU'RE NEVER GRATEFUL"

LIKE DO I MAKE A NEW SHRINE FOR YOU EVERYDAY????

IVE SAID THANKYOU IVE EXPRESSED MY HAPPINESS AND GRATEFULNESS MULTIPLE TIMES BUT YOU WILL NEVER FAIL TO REMIND ME HOW YOU HELPED ME ACHIEVE SOMETHING.

[jenny-snoopers-world]

Happy Anniversary To...My Blog (Plus A Rant)

So yesterday my blog had just turned one. I’ve been on this site for a whole year, and I simply can’t thank you guys enough for making it the best year of my life, being supportive of me and my selfship. To those who say that Super Snooper and I are their favorite OTP, YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

Now onto other, less-than-cheerful news...

Being a part of a self-shipping server can be a rewarding experience and it’s a great place to make some new friends. But if there’s one thing you should never do, it’s being hurtful and manipulative towards other users over even the simplest of mistakes they have made.

I was a member of a self-shipping Discord server (Self-Shippers United) that used to be my favorite place in the world...until that incident. If you break a rule, even if it was by accident, you are deemed Public Enemy#1 and possibly harassed and bullied for it. I mean, really? Putting a former member on a hit list just because he/she did something wrong when they didn’t mean it at all?

It was just a slip of the tongue. That’s it. And I had already apologized then. I don’t deserve so much clout for a minor mistake, and neither does my best friend.

While I don’t harbor any bad feelings towards SSU as a result, I’ve already moved on and I don’t think I’ll be coming back there again. Now I’m in charge of my own self-ship server, Self-Ship Haven, which you’re all free to join at any time; if a user breaks a rule there, all they’ll only get is a slap on the wrist and a warning. Repeated offenses will result in either a kick or a ban, but under NO circumstances will I ever persecute you outside of Discord.

I’m saying that it’s okay to make mistakes from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, and your flaws are what makes you you...a beautiful person on the inside and out. On top of all that, your f/os love you just the way you are, and will always be by your side regardless.

Lastly, if you’re one of the members or mods from SSU reading this, I'm sorry it turned out to be this way. It's a simple warning not to be like one of those two-faced people who think they have an excuse to attack or judge others for their perceived faults, though to be honest you were pretty cool to me and up until now we used to have a lot of fun together on the server. You were all guests at my Valentine’s Day wedding with Snooper there back in February 2019, and it remains one of my favorite moments to date, besides the festival/carnival that followed afterwards. Those were good times, indeed.

But now things have changed and I hope to make many new and wonderful memories in my new server from this day forward and beyond. Still doesn't mean I won't be here, because I'm blessed to have friends on the site who have been very supportive of me for the past year since I joined the self-shipping community.

That’s all I have to say for tonight.

[circular-time]

Twin Dilemma re-watch: "Yuck”

I could only stomach part one.

I haven’t gone back and rewatched Six’s episodes, because I had such a hard time with them when they first aired. I was... 13, I think. 

I do so love Colin now, thanks to his excellence in Big Finish and his all-around decency as a human being and a proponent of Doctor Who. (I love his article on behalf of Whittaker in the Guardian.)  So I thought I should rewatch his stories as an adult.

I know there will be good things in future serials, but after watching Part One of Twin Dilemma again, I am struck by how much it seems like a NEVER DO THIS list of the worst possible ways to introduce a new Doctor...

It followed directly after Caves of Androzani. So instead of the usual practice of introducing a new Doctor after a summer of antici----pation, he barged in while most fans were still in the initial NOOOOOOOO!!! phase of the Five Stages of Grief/Loss for his predecessor.

Androzani ended with an emotional exit for the Fifth Doctor, sacrificing himself for a companion (whom we barely knew, and I confess I resented her, too, because of that). Then, Six sits up and sneers at Peri, the person Five just died for, throwing a bucket of cold water over a raw, touching moment. Subverting sentimental moments with cyncism can work, but it relies on mood whiplash for the viewer, so it must be done with care. 

Twin Dilemma starts not in the TARDIS but instead in a crappy set with wooden actors. Suspense is fine, but the contrast with Androzani is painful.

Back in the TARDIS, the new Doctor pats himself on the back to tell us how handsome, intelligent and thoroughout wonderful he is. I remember wanting to shove a pie in his smarmy face. It should be funny, but again, in context of Androzani, it’s childish and irritating.

The worst possible way to establish a new Doctor is to spit on the grave of the last Doctor while fans are mourning him. Which is exactly what Six does, mocking Five for being “sweet” and “feckless” and claiming that wasn’t his true self. He sneers at Peri for being attached to him— and so, indirectly, he sneers at Five’s fans.

Every Peri & Doctor scene is intercut with the uninspire’d B-plot’s more wooden acting, crappy sets and cheap-looking costumes, and a Who monster design nearly as clunky as the Myrka. End-of-season leftover budgets don’t serve a new Doctor well.

The Doctor dons his new costume, the much-derided technicolor nightmare coat, after  sneering at another predecessor (Two) in passing. Peri expresses what most viewers must be thinking: “Yuck.”

At least the wardrobe scene shows that some of Six’s behavior is due to regeneration sickness. Unfortunately, by depicting regeneration’s after-effects as acute, violent fits of madness interrupting his train of thought, it implies that his sneering, arrogant, narcissistic personality is his “real” one.

And of course, if we weren’t already rattled as much as Peri, there’s the infamous strangling scene. This was still a show targeted at children as much as adults. That scene seriously, SERIOUSLY terrified me, far more than anything else in classic Who history. Consider: a trusted adult, authority figure, parental figure, or best friend— the Doctor is all these things to his young audience— suddenly starts verbally abusing Peri, gaslighting her, ignoring her, and acting erratically. Then he violently assaults her, winding up straddling her in a posture disturbingly reminiscent of sexual assault. Even for children and teens who haven’t suffered abuse in real life, that sequence was traumatizing. But for young people who have been emotionally and/or physically abused, for whom Doctor Who is escapism? Devastating. We could no longer project RL fears onto fictional monsters and enjoy the fantasy of a trusted authority figure/best friend/protector. Suddenly, he was the monster. 

After the Doctor snaps out of it, his non-apology consists of dragging Peri off to “suffer” with him on a barren asteroid. Another nightmare of children: adults take you somewhere against your will, and you’re afraid and powerless, and you’re afraid they’ll hurt you.

Peri spends the whole episode whining, whimpering and bickering with him. Which isn’t any fun either. 

The first episode ends with the Doctor viciously guilt tripping Peri for wrongly assuming there’s no survivors of a nearby crash: “you would’ve left your own kind to die.” The wording reinforces the gulf between him and us.

In response, Peri finally snaps and tells him off for being cruel and self-centered.

In short, the Doctor has been transformed from a compassionate Dad or big brother figure into an untrustworthy monster who neglects and abuses his companions. At age 13, I understood that message all too well; I mentally switched him to the “dangerous adult, cannot trust” category. 

I don’t blame Colin for this fiasco. He performed the script he was given to the best of his ability. It’s largely due to his skilled voicework and physical improv that Six’s intro is so memorable and terrifying. 

I know that the showrunners were trying to do something new, different, and edgy. But. “Let’s make the Doctor as jarring and unlikeable as possible” is a dangerous way to break the mold. They needed to provide some reason to keep watching.

After Twin Dilemma, viewers had to wait over a year to see the next story, a very long time to stew over what we’d just seen. Bad first impressions had time to set like concrete.

To make matters worse, this was about the time VCRs became common in households, so many fans could rewatch Androzani and Twin Dilemma to contrast/compare.

All of which leads back to my contention that Twin Dilemma was dreadfully unfair to Colin Baker: giving him a piss-poor intro, then expecting him in the following season to win back the fans the script had driven off. It wasn’t very fair to Nicola, either. 

I’m pissed at Michael Grade & company for throwing so many barriers in Colin’s way, above and beyond the usual headwind of fans clinging to the old Doctor and being wary of the new. And I’m pissed at my younger self for letting Twin Dilemma rattle me so thoroughly that I barely noticed when the true Six, the heart of gold under that pompous facade, started to shine through in later stories. 

[aurore-dupin]

A rant please don't mind me

Yes hello there I am a white bi Jewish girl and I attended the march in Washington this weekend. You didn't need to be perceptive to notice that there was very light security and law enforcement. This was 100% because the women who organized and largely attended were in fact, white. I have also noticed that people are dragging the fact that we were not inclusive or were dissing trans-women and poc. But there will always be people who do in fact believe those things. I myself do not and recognize my privilege being white. I just think people should just stop looking at the fact that this left out this or that and looked at the fact we can all unite to fight against a common enemy I think we can all agree that any movement against the POTUS is a good one. I don't want to be condoned for what others think or act like, I recognize my privilege and want to help the minority's point get across with it.