Stars
Alistair x F!Cousland Warden
Read on AO3
Summary: On their path to Denerim, Anneliese Cousland and Alistair watch the stars, as they reflect on their journey.
A/N: This is very short but its something that had been on my mind for awhile. Everytime I go back and replay the battle of ostagar i get this terrible sad feeling because of how things went down. I didn't have much to go with this but yeah.
word count: 873
It was one more night until they reached Denerim, after once again protecting Redcliff and gaining the titles of Champions.
One more night until she would be faced with the enemy.
One more night until they hopefully ended this Blight for good.
Anneliese Cousland had found a nice spot, a little further away from camp, to sit and look at the stars.
‘Even when everything changes, at least the stars will always stay the same.’ she would tell herself.
Anneliese should be asleep, but there were too many feelings inside of her to allow for a good night of rest.
It was not doubt - she had faith that they would be victorious. The dwarves, elves, mages and knights were ready. After all the work she had done to help those people, they were finally returning the favour. After all she had lost…she had come too far to lose at the end.
It wasn’t anxiety either. Anneliese always knew it would all come to this, ever since she awoke in Flemeth’s hut, even if at times the path ahead was obscure. For a moment, her determination had wavered. They were not getting anywhere near an end and it only seemed like they kept finding problems.
Fittingly, it was in the Deep Roads that she had found the strength she needed. Seeing the Archdemon flying overhead had reminded her of her duty. She would see this battle through, no matter the cost.
What she felt that night was not anxiety, nor doubt. No, it was the old beast that gnawed at her heart ever so often. The old beast called grief.
After the attack on Castle Cousland, she thought all she could feel was grief. For her parents, for her brother’s family, for Iona. But she had spent too long mourning them. She lost her home but there was still a Ferelden to save.
No, her grief tonight was for-
“There you are.” She heard Alistair’s voice as he walked towards her and sat down. “I thought I was gonna have to sleep all alone tonight.”
When she didn’t reply, he frowned. “What’s on your mind?”
“Ostagar.” Anneliese hugged her knees, as she continued to look at the stars. “Do you realize it’s been a year since…well, this all began?”
“I think Wynne mentioned it once or twice. Why?”
She sighed. “I don’t know, I just feel…we were all different people then.” She looked at him. “Does that make sense to you?”
“I think it does. I mean, I was just a bastard being raised to be a templar and now…now I’m going to be king of Ferelden.” He let out a heavy sigh. “At least I’ll have you with me.”
Anneliese gave him a small smile and placed her head on his shoulder.
“I keep thinking about that night, before the battle. All those men talking about how it would go. I remember Duncan saying there would be an Archdemon and Cailan doubting if this was even a real blight.”
“How wrong they all were.” Alistair said, solemnly.
Even after so long, Duncan’s loss still hurt him - much like her family’s still haunted her. At least, they had recovered his shield, something to remember him by.
Anneliese closed her eyes. She couldn’t stop thinking about that night. The two of them had complained when they were sent to light the signal. They were young and stupid and they wanted to join in the real fight, not knowing what would happen. Duncan had said he wanted no heroics from them.
Look at them now. Wherever his soul went, if Duncan was watching, would he be proud of what they achieved? Did he think they died in the Tower?
“I think we were all a bit foolish back then. No one could imagine what would happen.” She whispered. “Ostagar feels like a lifetime ago.”
“That’s what Loghain said.”
“I hate to agree but in that regard, he was right.”
After a moment, Alistair said “I think he was, too.”
Silence befell them again. Even if Morrigan’s ritual worked, there were still a number of different ways that they could be slain in battle. They could be betrayed again, the darkspawn could overwhelm them. Maker, even the Archdemon could prove to be too strong.
If they survived, they would never be the same. They would be heroes. They would be Queen and King, husband and wife. They would go down in history, whether they wanted to or not. Anneliese could not make sense if this was what the Maker had intended for them all along.
Once, she felt she was still a girl, wearing a soldier’s facade. Now, she would go to the battlefield as a woman. She wondered if Alistair felt the same, and part of her believed it so. He was still just one year older than her.
She sighed heavily, leaning more into Alistair’s shoulder. He covered the hands on her knees with his, as he gently placed his head on top of hers. She turned her gaze to the sky once again, feeling the gentle breeze of the air on her face.
There were many doubts about what tomorrow would bring but for now, they would sit in silence and watch the stars.
.
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