Miraculous Warstaff AU!!
Yo this quality fucking sucks
Let’s uh explain with some visual aids (tw long post, ignore if you don’t want to support my mission to destroy Meta HQ)
So in this AU it’s actually not the ladybug and cat miraculouses that are the main ones instead it’s the bee and the fox because I think the ladybug and cat are way too overpowered like yeah obviously the main character uses those to save the day omg try not to have plot armor final boss. Anyway I think the bee and fox are cooler anyway so yeah.
The ladybug and cat miraculouses are being kept in Merlin and Morgana’s tombs respectively but nobody knows that because it’s supposed to be a secret where they are so evil people don’t obtain the miraculouses. Douxie knows where they are though but he’s all like “I need to make sure I can trust you guys first and it’s for your own good and blah blah blah.” Douxie’s the guardian btw and has the tiger miraculous because it’s a cool alt accessory.
So now the toxic yuri!! Why are Barbara and Ophelia making out? So Ophelia (Claire’s mom) is Monarch (her name stays Monarch the whole time she doesn’t need to keep changing it to stay relevant unlike Gabriel) and she wants to defeat Fennec and Apiarius so she can destroy their miraculouses and take them to the guardian to flex her superiority so she can get the ladybug and cat miraculouses so she can THEN bring back her dead husband (Claire’s dad). Too convoluted? Welcome to Noodle Nation this happens every month.
Barbara discovers everything at some point and let’s say for the sake of this AU they’re actually like good friends. Barbara feels some sort of obligation to help Ophelia in any way she can or has to, so she uses the Peacock miraculous that Ophelia had lying around damaged and shit. Will she get sick from it? Absolutely! They’ll fix it eventually though so it’s fine. Now they’re in a toxic yuri situationship but Ophelia lowkey don’t gaf about Barbara so it’s actually just kinda sad.
So where does Jim come in? When Ophelia/Monarch dies at the hands of Fennec AND Apiarius (more on that later) Barbara now wants to get the ladybug and cat miraculouses so she can bring OPHELIA back. Like a DUMBASS.
Barbara takes in Claire after Ophelia dies so now she lives with them and her and Jim have a sibling like relationship (BECAUSE I DONT SHIP THEM !!! YAHOO) but that’s besides the point. Jim quickly discovers something is up with his mom and comes to realize that she has the butterfly and peacock miraculouses. Something something mother son loyalty he apprehensively agrees to use the peacock miraculous but only if Barbara doesn’t akumatize Toby and Claire which she says she wouldn’t (but she lied she’s a fucking liar). But she’s not a bitch in this guys I swear she’s just really pathetic!
Out of character? Certainly. Do I give a darn? Do I ever?
Chat Blanc but it’s Apiarius so now she’s Hornet
I thought it’d be cute if Toby/Fennec calls her Honeybee idk don’t shoot me. Anyway, I don’t feel that the issue in the original episode was that they knew each other’s secret I think it’s just how they revealed it to each other. In the middle of the fucking street.
So in this AU, by the time it’s time to defeat Monarch, Claire and Toby have already revealed their identities to each other. They both find out that Ophelia is Monarch and they use the cat miraculous (they don’t have the ladybug one idk if it’s required they do I didn’t watch the show after season 4) to destroy the place.
Toby is paranoid that Claire finding out her mom was Monarch is gonna make her turn insane but it turns out it’s made her very locked in. Like scarily locked in. Like omg woman take a break. She’s trying to cope by being an extra perfect hero because as long as she’s an extra perfect hero then she won’t ever have to worry about turning into her mom 😋 or about her loved ones getting hurt again 😋😋 too bad that might happen sooner than we think 😋😋😋
So I didn’t watch any episode after season 4 right? But I did watch like half of heartfixer because I wanted to know more about it for this AU and omg that episode fucking sucked it did not live up to ANY of the hype
Why, of all the terrible things happening to Marinette this season, did a fucking cheating fakeout illusion make her get akumatized? Don’t piss me off. AND SHES ONLY IN THE FORM FOR WHAT A MINUTE? In cartoon time that’s like 30 seconds.
So instead Toby’s increasing worry for Claire’s mental state has led to him doting on her an AWFUL LOT. Claire doesn’t appreciate him treating her as if she’s gonna break. She lashes out at him about how it feels like she carries all the weight while he barely does anything but make her feel worse. THATS what gets him turned into Heartfixer. Plus it preys on Toby’s insecurities. He wants to be useful. If he can’t do that, why should Claire (or anyone else for that matter) love him?
Jim is at school during this (well they all are) so he isn’t able to stop Barbara from akumatizing Toby. Also Toby, instead of like a thorny jump rope or whatever Marinette had he has a hammer wrapped in thorns. One, to reference his original warhammer (since the fox miraculous comes with a flute) and two, because it reminded me of that “break your heart” animation meme.
Self indulgent and weird as hell. Ain’t no AU like a Noodle AU! I love them they have me in a chokehold