Plot: Lyle demands that you find some nice clothes for Wayne so that he can be seen with him in public and not be embarrassed. Simultaneously, you're dealing with a particularly bad Tinder match sending you eggplants.
You help Wayne to be presentable and Wayne helps you to make a wierdo leave you alone.
Warnings: Sexual references as well as mentions of dick picks.
*I wanted to write for Greasy and Wheezy Weasel... but also Jim Bickerman... this is the natural conclusion XD
Tagging: @masqueradeball and @slxsherwriter
"Ooookay, look... " You feel like a master chef judge except theirs no cake, there's just Wayne. Disappointing. "The outfit is fine, you cant go wrong with a clean shirt and jeans." Clearing your throat, you turn promptly to the men's jackets section of T.K. Max, wondering to the medium section and giving the choices a quick overlook. "You just need a good coat- because this jean jacket and hoodie combination is not it. You're a 60 year old man not a 19 year old drug dealer, dress like it."
"Thought I was."
"No."
Giving a sigh as you look through the options, because this is absolutely not what you would like to be doing today (Though, it still beat answering the phone right now), you pick out a few of the coats and hand them over to Wayne. You choose a coat in off-white, too, but pause. You look at him and screw up your nose in a wince, considering what he does for a living. He shakes his head. No. Bad idea. Put it back.
Shame; he'd look good in white.
"Anyway, we'll also pick up a few more shirts and jeans because you cant live on a rotation of 3 to 2 ratio. No. We might get you a haircut too, and maybe- "
"God. You wanna shave me, too??" He cuts you off, and you hear the exaggerated sarcasm clear as day, but still give him a deeply unamused.
"No, the beard's sexy." You say bluntly, feeling your phone buzz in your back pocket and fighting off a frustrated sigh; knowing exactly who it was from. "-Thats your only redeeming feature right now. Don't say crazy stuff like that!, because I do not have the patience for it today."
The man gives you a sheepish shrug, but looks wholly shut up. "... jeez... You're a real ball a' joy, today."
You feel the tell-tale buzz again, and let air whisper out from between your lips in frustration. "... you have no idea."
"Great." Wayne rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at this whole situation just like you. And you get it- if your cousin said he was embarrassed of you and demanded someone else take you out and dress you at the crack of dawn on a Saturday then you'd be pretty damn annoyed, too. You're about to offer an olive branch, ask if he wants to get something to drink before you start, but then a mischievous vulgar grin spreads across his rough-looking face and immediately you groan. Before words even come out. This goddamn man- "... Hey, I do like to hear ya think I'm sexy, though. How about that, huh?"
Without a word, you deadpan-point him towards the changing rooms.
~
Its a couple of hours later and- to be honest- you are in a better mood, now. This is definitely better then answering your Tinder messages, at least. For sure.
At first all the two of you did was argue, until you marched him out of the store to get a coffee. You found, after that, that you were both far more likeable people with a caffeinated/sugary drink in your hands. You got along a lot better, then.
After a few try-on's, you both agreed on a plain old grey long coat. not quite a trench coat, because he's creepy enough you think, but nothing fancy either, with nice deep pockets. That feature particularly made him happy, and you couldn't blame him. Pockets make you happy, too. You didn't think about what he might want to put in the pockets, though he did try to tell you. You didn't want to know.
"No- but wait, see here?? I could totally fit a- "
"Thats okay Wayne, I don't need to know."
"B- "
"No."
*Huff* "Suit yourself. ... Hm, but I might even be able to get me in here some- " This man chose to look up and wriggle his eyebrows at you, almost causing you to choke on a laugh. Almost. "You know."
Okay, you're not made of stone. At this you did snort; shaking your head. "No, I don't know."
"... you wanna?"
"Nope."
Now Wayne was just trying a few pairs of jeans (He offered to let you in so you could 'help him'... you politely turned that oh so very kind and beyond charming offer down with a 'no you're a big boy; I have the utmost faith in you that you can do it' and an encouraging pat on the shoulder), and while you sat outside the changing rooms with the coat hung over your legs and a basket half full with some more shirts in various cobalt hue's, you finally see fit to open up your phone for the first time in the day and... oh, boy.
You wince.
"Yep," You mutter, shaking your head and shifting to make sure no one was around to see. "Thats a penis."
God, what is wrong with men?
'U gotta send me some now' the guy, Brandon, texts you then seeing that you were online. 'Thats fair'. You groan. Oh no you do not.
When Wayne comes out of one of the changing rooms, tucking his shirt into his new jeans, you quickly switch off your phone and lower it into your lap. A second ago you were having a good day (A good day! With crazy Wayne of all people!), but now... aghhh, you just wanted to go home. Be alone. Lament over the fact that, at this rate, you're never going to find a man you have any kind of real chemistry with. "- that looks great." You say quickly, flashing a kind smile and getting up. "We'll get a couple of those. Its all on Lyle, anyway. Come on, lets ring up. You wanna get Taco Bell on the way back?- "
"Uh uh uh," As you're attempting to walk by Wayne and head for the registers, he grabs you by the crook of your arm and stops you right there. "What just happened here?"
Taking a deep breath, you cross you arms and face him; never mind the proximity he set. "Nothing. We've been out for hours, and I'm tired."
"You are not." He growls, then you peer and watch a sly grin spread across his face. "You cant lie to a liar, sweetheart, trust me. But hey," Suddenly he plucks your phone right out of your hand, making you yelp and go wide-eyed. Oy- "lets see for ourselves what the problem is, huh?"
"No, no, no- " You reach for the phone as soon as you see it, but he turns around.
Your phone comes to life and, holding the device just out of your reach (Well, you could move and grab it, but at this point you're frozen out of mortification), Wayne flicks to the most recently opened app. Then the photo's slide across the screen again and your nose wrinkles. "Ahhhh... " You roll your eyes deeply. You can imagine the nasty grin on the dirty old man's face without even seeing it. "... So? You gonna uhh... repay the favour, or not? Hm??" He chuckles. and you groan.
"What do you think?" You ask his back, rubbing your face.
"Well I'm sure I don't know- "
"No! The answer is no!"
"Heheh,.. " Suddenly an odd calm settles over Wayne, and you hear rather then see the phone shut off. Then there's a consoling tone in his voice that makes you nervous. "Alright, we can go. I'm all done here, after all, aren't I? Nothin for my Cuz to be embarrassed about anymore, hm? Lemme just put my old pants back on."
"Okay... thank you... ... hey, wait, gimmie back my phone, first- "
"Not just yet."
... that sure makes you nervous.
For the few moments you're waiting for him you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, worried. You just want your phone back! You want to delete. Tinder. damnit.
When Wayne's in there for a few moments too long, you awkwardly approach and knock on the door. "... Way- "
He opens the door almost as soon as your knuckles hit the surface, startling you, and hands you the phone back with a terrible, satisfied look on his face.
... you squint. "What did you do."
"Nothin'." He tells you back, noncommittally; shrugging and adjusting his pants as you open up your phone and navigate back to Tinder.
...
...
...
..
...
..- "OH." Immediately you turn off your phone all the way again and cross your arms, fighting to urge to throw it. THATS not gonna give you nightmares at all. After a moment, your eyes flick to Wayne grinning proud. "... why."
"Well he aint gonna bother you no more now, is he?"
"The concept of your penis does seem to have that effect on people." You say... but cant help it. You laugh, shaking your head; more an inappropriate cackle then a laugh, really. It feels good. "Come on lets go,.. Flaccid, and everything. Very sexy, Wayne."
"I thought so." He's still grinning with pride, and that only makes your giggles worse.
"Move it, Jackson."
~
You did end up getting lunch on the way back, opting to eat in the parking lot on the hood of the car, and you're still sipping coke when you pull into Wayne's driveway. He lives with Dale, its the only way the two of them can afford a semi-decent place with the wages that Lyle pays them, and as you slowly roll over the driveway you see Dale's motorbike in the open garage. He must be working on it today.
When Wayne pipes up from the passenger seat, you turn and watch him while chewing the paper straw in your taco bell cup. "Welll, this has been sorta fun, sweetheart. Coulda been more fun," He gives you a meaningful look and you shake your head, but grin with the straw still between your teeth. He clears his throat, opening the car door. "But, eh, not bad."
"Not bad??" You ask, teasing. "My company is just 'not bad'??"
There's a wicked look in his eye and on his face. "... yep."
"Ass."
"Never claimed to be anything else, did I now?" With that light-hearted but very true remark, Wayne turns to get out of the car- but a crazy split-second urge has you putting down your drink and stopping him.
"Wayne?- "
"Huh?- "
When your lips meet in a deep kiss with the old bastard you didn't even know you wanted until then, you feel every nerve in your body light up. Its slow and a little dirty, and you love it. You didnt know you could be kissed like this. So when you pull back you cant help the smirk that matches his.
"... well, now I think you're company's a lil better, Y/N." You snort, at that. "What? I manage t' seduce you with that photo? Hm?"
Plot: The scene with the cop stopping them in the road. You reach a hand between the seats and stop Wayne from doing something stupid. You also kinda reflect on your relationship with him 😅
Warnings: Attempted murder references and maybe a couple sexual ones too.
You're so uncomfortable around cops, these days. Before you met these men (before you met Wayne, particularly), you were very normal! Cops made you a little nervous even if you didn't do anything-- but now it was so much worse. Because you have done things... and you don't always know the everything you've done. You try to trust Lyle that you wont get too mixed up in all of this, but thats a hard thing to do. So you try to trust Norman... but thats hard, too.
So when the cop stopped your car on the side of the highway, you slumped in your seat behind the passenger seat, chewing on your thumbnail. Dale nudges you; Gives you a 'be fucking cool' look, but you s u c k at that. The only reason you're here is because of Wayne- you're not meant for this life!!
But still, you take a deep breath through your nose and flash the Officer a sweet grin when he peers into the back seats past Norman and Wayne. You even give a little, curt waive.
He nods, and keeps talking to Norman.
You can hear the blood pumping in your ears as you score your memory for any reason the Officer could arrest you right now, but your heads so jumbled you can barely think. you're so stuck in your own thoughts you miss out on what Dale said- it sounds to you like you're underwater.
But you do notice when, a few minutes later, the cop starts coming back to the car from his and Wayne (in front of you), pulls out his gun. Eyes widening immediately, your heartbeat speeding up awfully in your chest; hammering against your collar. Norman tells him to put it away, but he doesn't.
Before you can even think, you're reaching carefully past the back of Wayne's seat and taking hold of his arm. Numb fingers squeeze him there comfortingly as the cop strolls over. "Wayne." You whisper, desperate and hopeful. He'll listen to you, you're very well aware of the unlikely effect you have on him. You don't know how, or why, but he listens to you-- when you need him to. When you're scared.
The cop is getting closer, and you watch him with baited breath as you feel Wayne stop, taking in a tense breath, then lower his arm again. Letting out an unbelievably relieved breath, you slide your nervous gaze from the cop to the car's side mirror; in which Wayne's already looking at you.
Thank you, you mouth. You try to take your hand away, but as the Cop's leaning down to talk to Norman again through the drivers side window Wayne lifts his hand to holds yours where it is; giving you a little squeeze as his jaw tenses tighter, holding himself together.
... okay. You think, nervously. Now you're basically holding hands. Its nice. Fuck- you're never going to get over this. How s o f t this terrible man is with you, how you're actually with someone like him. You never in a million years expected that you, the shyest person ever, ended up with a criminal more than/double your age. You've seen how terrible he can really be; you should have run away the first time you did. The time he almost killed someone because that someone hit on you.
You remember the scene vividly. How you didn't really realise what happened, why your butt stung for a few moments- but Wayne had; yanking you behind him and pulling out the gun always tucked in the front of his jeans. How you had to b e g him, not to shoot the guy. Even though you were mortified.
Then the blood on the floor when he didn't listen to you. Your frantic 911 call. The cops-
... but you didn't run away, for some reason that you still don't quite understand.
You remember how Wayne was smiling when the cops came; a wicked proud smile that told you he wasn't sorry at all. He grinned like that even with the cuffs on and when he was behind the iron bars, flirting with you through them like this wasn't a big deal.
... or maybe you completely understand it, you do, and you just don't want to admit it. Because admitting you like that part of him- at least when its defending you-- is terrifying.
You especially remember the gentle way he touched you before the cops and the ambulance came, cupping your jaw in one hand and telling it was worth it sweetheart. sorry. we're gonna be apart for a lil while, now, but you'll wait for me wont ya?
As Norman starts up the engine again and peels away from the Officer, Wayne's familiar voice breaks you out of your thoughts; causing your eyes to lift up to his in the side mirror again.
"'T's lucky my little sunflower was here to rein me in there, huh?" He gives you a wink.
"Yeah, lucky." Norman rolls his eyes, focused on the road.
"... Sunflower??" Dale snorts. What? You think, knitting your brows together. You like that! "More like rider. Right??" He chuckles, mortifying you with the dirty innuendo. Your eyes widen in surprise, before you hide your face in your hands, as the teasing for the rest of the ride back to Lyle begins.
Poly!Dale Acton + Wayne Jackson x Reader || Excerpt
Plot: Its the middle of summer, its hot as hell, and Norman is Not Putting Up with you and Wayne acting like hopeless pervs when Dale takes off his shirt. He's just not putting up with it.
Warnings: Thirstiness 😂😅 Unedited.
Tagging: @masqueradeball @obscureother and @slxsherwriter
Your eyes double in size the moment that Dale sheds his usual white shirt outside in the sunshine, and you know you should look away- You. Should. Look. Away! You. Should. Be. Normal. About. This! He's your boyfriend. - but you cant. "Oh- "
Next to you in the air conditioned kitchen, suffering equally from both the hot weather and now Dale- Wayne clears his throat. Doesn't bother to conceal the half-grin on his face.
... Not until Norman notices the pair of you, at least. "For shits sake you two."
" -Uhhh... " When you quickly manage to tear your eyes off of Dale, you look to Wayne for help with alarmed eyes and an embarrassed and awkward half up-turned grimace. He shrugs back; equally Caught. After half a second, you mutually and silently decide to pretend you were Not, in fact, Staring. Mhm. 'Casually', you prop your elbow up on his shoulder and flash Norman what you hope is a cool, innocent grin. Easy breezy. "... What, Norm??" act Dumb, act Dumb, act Dumb- "W- what's up? Hm?"
"Uh-huh. Yeah. What?? Y- you look a little warm. Y'need a popsicle?" Immediately you give Wayne a glare, knowing exactly what he's doing. Don't you dare leave me- "I'll getcha one. Y'like purple? I'll- I'll getcha purple."
He slips away from you and reaches safety in the freezer for a few moments, like a c o w a r d, while you set your hands so politely in your lap and shrug at Norman still looking Pointedly at you. "... um. Wh- watcha looking at, Norman?"
Norman doesn't miss a beat. "Could ask you the same thing."
" -There ya go." Thank god Wayne's back- and he hands you a red popsicle after forcing the purple one upon Norman. you take yours gratefully, happy to have a distraction (And something cool 😭 Its so hot today 😭); unwrapping it quickly and shoving it in your mouth so you don't say anything else while he sits back down next to you.
... unfortunately Wayne doesn't have a solution for your wandering eyes. When your eyes wander against your will back outside to the front lawn, where Dale's doing some weeding, Norman gives a heavy sigh, and gets up. "Its too hot for this shit. I'm gonna take a shower. You two behave."
"Em. Always?" Wayne agrees, making you have to contain a laugh.
After Norman's gone up the stairs, you give Wayne a sneaky look. "... Should we go out and say hey?"
So I was thinking about how Wayne seems to always take Normans orders- even when he really wants to do something else. Like watch Dale cut up Luke. Or shoot a policeman (at the very least threaten him). And he seems a little nervous when Lyle asks him a direct question (it's not just me right?? This bit:
). He's even more willing to take orders, from his cousin, then Dale is. And Dale's the only outsider in the group, so surely he should be the more nervous one.
It makes me wonder. Is Wayne just spineless, or has he experienced punishment from Lyle before for going off script and now he knows better?
Topic: You're the femme fatale of the group (a.k.a the only lady travelling with these thugs ).
Warnings: Sexual references.
Tagging: @slxsherwriter
First of all, Lyle is not part of the gang 😅 He's the leader- so he's kinda removed. He has his own car, and he always gets a motel room but you guys don't (it depends on how much money you guys have at any point-- but h e will a l w a y s get one) and have to sleep in your (one) car. You're his thugs. So he's not really gonna be in these hc's; we're gonna focus on Norman, Dale and Wayne.
When you're introduced to the group (by Lyle), it takes a few months close-quarters with them for you to go from 'a pretty little thing for them to look at' to 'sister in arms'. And it's hard, and it's annoying, because you're not into any of them that way (okay. Maybe one. But shhh!)- but when they finally relax around you and stop acting like dumbasses around you (this is more Dale and Wayne acting like dumbasses, of course- but Norman does have his own subtle way, too), it's good ^^
After that, living with them constantly, is pretty smooth sailing! ⛵⛵⛵. ... pfft.
What I mean, is its pretty smooth sailing... in comparison XD Now you're struggling the same way the others are XD Which is a lot better then the misogynistic horny boneheaded bullshit you were getting from them before... but still not great XD
I said before that Lyle will always get the motel room while y'all sleep in the car- but what if you do have money for you guys to have accommodation also?? What if you have money for more then 2 rooms, even?? Enough for one each! ?... Well you still have to share with Norman, Dale and Wayne. Yeah. Lyle's not coughing up the cash for even a suit. 2 single beds, a couch and a rollaway is the extent of what your budget will allow you guys.
And these are not gentlemen here that we're talking about. No, no 😅 They will not offer you one of the beds just cuz you're a 'lady'- you're gonna have to fight for it with Wayne and Dale. (Norman always gets one of them- he outranks the 3 of you).
These arguments usually go on for as long as the drive is to the motel (thoroughly annoying Norman), and then it's just whoever plants themselves on it first 😅😅😅 So its usually you or Dale (Wayne's slow). The car comes to a stop and then you both fly out of the car and argue at the door until Norman comes back with the keys to unlock it, then race towards the bed like 2 bats out of hell.
Dale will also race you to the shower. Sometimes you guys are on the road for days and by the time you reach a rest stop you are SCREAMING for a hot shower. Dale isn't, but he likes to annoy you so he'll try to beat you there and lock himself in for EVER-
Alternatively, Dale will not be bothered to annoy you and he'll forgo a shower. Wayne will do the same thing, he doesn't care. At that point you will have to step in, like "boys, your natural masculine musk is not as sexy as you think- get in the goddamn shower" .
One time when Dale annoyed the fuck out of you: Dale, you are young, virile man. If you don't shut the fuck up, I will take your 2 chances at creating an heir and c r u s h them-
Now- Dale is good for some things, though XD He's the only guy who's happy to help you with your 'feminine shit'. At first he was bored by it, just helping you cuz he had nothing else to do in the mornings, but now he kinda likes the chill time with you. He'll hold up mirrors for you while you do your make up and tell you if you're smudged or uneven, he'll spray the back of your head with dry shampoo and tell you if you still have white stuff showing after you ruffled it in. He'll also curiously look through your make up bag, his fingerless glove covered fingers flicking over everything you have, like oh. THATS what that does... huh.
**for y'all who have periods: As for feminine hygiene, you are totally on your own. Norman usually does the grocery shopping (no one else can be bothered, and besides they can't be trusted to get the right things) so you have to make it your business to go with him and get your shit, because he will not get it for you. Even if it's on the list. He doesn't wanna be seen in the aisle (coward 🙄). If you were his girlfriend, be would do it, but you're not 🤷♀️ so he won't 🤷♀️. Too bad.
When you're on jobs with them you're usually either partnered up with Norman or Wayne (unless you're doing your Femme Fatale Thing, obviously). Usually Wayne. Because SOMEONE has to keep his loose-canon, zero-subtlety ass from fucking up the plan 😅😆😆 You two are usually on look-out, so you have to keep him from getting his gun out or slipping away to do something not apart of the plan!!
You have chucked your legs over his lap to keep him in his chair before, seeing the evil fuck-up glimmer in his eyes. Like don't you dare. Stay put. I swear to god-
You can also distract him by bringing a pen with you and playing little games of tic tac toe on napkins.
Whenever you notice him staring at a woman, you're immediately just like 'no, no, you have nothing to offer that nice lady. you are old and stiff everywhere except the one place you should be, now get back to work grandpa- '
... he also spits in cups. You're trying to ween him off of that.
OH! ANOTHER THING YOU HAVE TO RACE DALE (and Wayne) FOR-- THE PASSENGER SEAT IN THE CAR! We see them do it in the movie, and Wayne is so slow (the man is old, let him be), so again- your main competition is Dale XD And it's crucial you get that front seat sometimes, too, because sometimes you are sleeping in the car and passenger seat is the optimal position, as Norman (The driver, obviously) very much keeps to his space when he snoozes- hands in his lap or crossed over his chest, not spreading out or anything-- but Dale and Wayne do not.
If you end up sharing the back with Dale he's gonna be playfully kicking you and pushing you to get more of the back seat for himself (well- playfully for him. It's fun for him. Not so much for you 😒. Kick him back, if you dare. Norman will get frustrated with you both and possibly lock you both outta the car for the night but come on! Dale's asking for it!!- XD). If you end up sharing with Wayne (Which 90% of the time, you do) it can go 1 of 2 ways. Either he just crosses his arms, slouches down and conks out- or he gets handsy. If he does get that way, Norman has given you the reserved right to kick the old man out for the night (I have the best mental image of him literally toppling backwards out of the car after you kick him XD ). Either way though, Wayne's happy to have you stretch out over him if you want XD Legs over his lap? Head in his lap?? He don't mind~~~ 😂😂
If Lyle ever tried to offer you up to a guy as if to 'sweeten' a deal (like saying you're happy to spend the night with the man as a show of a good business~~ yeck)???? I'd like to think Norman would stand up for you and have a private talk with his brother about it. Try to get you out of it. This isn't your job.
You help Norman trim his beard!!! XD Aghhh 💕. You stand in front of him in the bathroom of a motel or you do it in the front seats of the car, and you carefully use little clippers to neaten it up. He's very stoic, standing/sitting with his chin raised high so you can reach all of his beard. Often times he's thinking; he's got a lot to think about. Sometimes though he talks to you, and you love chatting with Norman. He's more relaxed then the other two, and more mature.
Actually you end up sharing bathroom time with Norman a lot. Because you don't have a lotta time, it just makes sense that you share 'shifts' (and you certainly will not be sharing with Wayne). Norman doesn't really pay that much attention to you when you're in there brushing your teeth together, or hiding behind the shower curtain shaving your legs- he's pretty respectful and leaves you be.
(Wayne also asks you to help him with his beard but with him its just an excuse to get you close so you don't bother XD )
Hum hum hum... something about borrowing clothes from them. It's not romantic, or sexual, it's just that none of you have had the chance to hit a laundromat in a while and you don't have anything near clean to wear!! So you take a white long-sleeve from Dale's bag to sleep in, or Norman throws you an old button up of his that you tuck into your jeans and wear to do laundry, or you grab a random hoodie out of the car cuz its freezing and it turns out to be Wayne's. Whatever.
When you guys f i n a l l y have your hands on some good cash and get to go shopping, you try every time to get Wayne to update his wardrobe. "You could be so handsome if you just dressed better!!" "Psh, come on. I- " "Just try on the coat!! Please 🥺" "I don't need new clothes! Look, they're fine!- " "I am looking, and you look like you just broke out of a federal prison- they are not fine!" "Oh would you look at that- (items you like) are on sale over there." "What?- " *you look away for a moment and Wayne ducks behind a rack before slipping out of the store*
Norman on the other hand... is very open to your fashion suggestions! XD He's happy to have you come browse with him and pick things for him to try on. You two casually chat and discuss certain styles, and he values your opinion. A lot of his wardrobe now is stuff you okay-ed.
With Dale... he just really doesn't care XD If you think he'll look good in something then fine, sure, get him that one. He doesn't wanna be clothes shopping at all, so whatever will end this the quickest will be his favourite XD
You have been known to use your ~feminine wiles~ to get discounted, or even free, take out and room service for you and your guys before XDD It all started with Dale and Wayne claiming you couldn't do it and you arguing that you TOTALLY could, and how dare they suggest otherwise, and Norman ultimately challenging you to give it a try. It worked (Obviously, you are the FEMME FATALE of the group), and now its just tradition that you accept the food when they order it and save them some money 😭🤣
BONUS THOUGHT: If you did become romantically/sexually involved with one of them- it would be s o h a r d to find a quiet, private moment to get r-rated. Especially if its Dale or Wayne. Norman can kick the others out. Not exactly subtle, but better then doing it in a bar parking (Wayne) lot or public bathroom (Dale) at least. So goodluck.
