TRIGGER WARNINGS: Anorexia, abusive relationships, and hint of previous rape.
“I really appreciate you letting him stay with you guys… He doesn’t want to go and…” Blaine trailed off.
“We don’t care at all.” Adrian smiled as Kyle walked in from their kitchen.
“Honey, are you sure you’re okay if I go?” Kurt asked, looking at Nick.
“I’m fine, Daddy.” Nick sighed.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go? Dad and Carole won’t ask you about it.” Kurt asked.
“I don’t want to go.” Nick’s voice rose a bit and he begged Kurt to leave it be with his eyes.
“I just hate to be away from you.” Kurt pulled Nick into a hug. “I’m a phone call away, alright? And I’ll get a flight to you if I need to, okay?”
“He’ll be fine.” Kyle promised, smiling after waving at Blaine. “You guys enjoy Ohio. We’ve got the diet restrictions, we know when his appointments are, and we know where he is. We’re good.”
Nick looked relived, offering Kyle a small smile.
“He’ll be fine. We’ve also got David’s number and we know which ER that Eric works at in case anything happens—but it won’t.” Adrian added.
“Okay, well… Soph and Kris are in the car so we should go.” Blaine frowned. They had really hoped Nick would change his mind last minute and come with them—but obviously that hadn’t happened. Then again, having a conversation with Nick was hard to come by unless you were Kurt (and that was only sometimes) or his therapist.
Kurt hugged Nick again and touched his face. “Be good, okay?”
“I’m nineteen, Daddy.” Nick retorted.
“You know what I mean. Stick to the plan.” Kurt pulled him in for a last hug. “I’m just a call away.”
Adrian smiled when Kurt gave him a quick hug. “I’ve got him. It’s fine. If we need you guys, we’ll call.”
Blaine stepped up to Nick, pulling him close.
“I love you, Dad.” Nick hugged Blaine back.
“I love you too.” Blaine kissed the top of his head and then pulled back. “Call me if you need to.”
Nick nodded, waving as his parents left.
“C’mon. We’ve been sitting outside. We’ve got a heater on so it’s not even cold.” Adrian wrapped an arm around him.
“Thanks for letting me stay.” Nick spoke softly.
“You’re always welcome here.” Kyle said. “Are you thirsty? We’ve got water, juice, milk… we know you can’t have soda.”
“Uhm, I can get myself a water bottle.” Nick said. “I know where they are.”
“No. I’ll get it and bring it to you outside.” Kyle turned and went towards the kitchen.
“Kyle’s done research.” Adrian laughed, leading Nick outside. “He’s been looking up recipes for us to try this weekend… I told him it was a better bet to ask your input first.”
Nick forced a smile, sitting on their large porch swing. He pulled his knees to his chest, looking around.
Adrian sat next to him, falling silent.
Several minutes passed before Nick let out a small sigh.
“Are you okay?” Adrian asked him.
“I miss Daddy.” Nick admitted, hugging his legs tightly.
“We can call him.” Adrian pulled out his phone.
“No.” Nick said softly, taking a sip of his water bottle that Kyle had given him a few minutes before.
“How are you doing?” Adrian watched him carefully.
“Not so great.” Nick looked out into the yard, looking at a small ‘playground’ in the corner that he remembered playing in when he was younger and staying with him. It had always been so much fun to stay with Adrian and Kyle on weekends.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Adrian didn’t take his eyes off Nick.
“My ex texted me today.” Nick frowned.
“He wants me to come back, the usual.” Nick sighed but seemed to have relaxed a bit, no longer clutching his legs so tightly that he fingers were going white.
“Nick…” Adrian frowned. “Can I tell you something? Something I haven’t even told Kurt or Blaine?”
“I did professional modeling until I was nineteen.”
“Are you going to tell me you had an eating disorder too?” Nick frowned. “Because that’s not—”
“No. I’m going to tell you that when I was seventeen, I got into an abusive relationship.” Adrian took a deep breath.
Nick turned to face him, shocked.
“We got together when I was barely seventeen. He was a few years older and a model.” Adrian began shakily. “And it was great at first but six months in we would get into these really, really horrible fights. They got more and more terrifying; he’d tear me down with words. It was stereotypical really. The next day he’d surprise me with a gift, apologize, and say it would never happen again. But eventually the fights turned physical… on his end, not mine, because I never hit back.”
Nick watched him, barely blinking.
“Pretty quick after that, he quit caring if I would get bruised or cut where it was noticeable. It got worse and worse until I get fired from my modeling agency because it was too hard to cover up the bruises and the cuts… and my heart was never in it because I was pretty miserable.” Adrian took another deep, shuddery breath. “And eventually he just… well, one time he forced me to do things and after that morning, I went to the police. There was an inspection but nothing ever came from it. Lack of…”
“Evidence.” Nick bit his lip. His dad had gotten a call from the UCLA campus cops stating that as well.
“And I felt worthless. Like I didn’t even deserve to be alive because I’d ruined modeling which I’d always wanted to do… for the wrong reasons, probably but… it was the plan I’d picked, you know? Listen, I don’t know how bad your relationship was but anything that brings you to this point… it’s bad. You can’t take score. But I know how it feels to have everything pulled out from under you. To have put up with abuse and everything fall apart and then to just exist and wonder why you’re even here. Or why you even want to bother with… with getting better.”
Nick swallowed, wiping his eyes roughly.
“And I’m so sorry you went through it.” Adrian started to cry. “Because I know how hard it is to have to come back from everything b-but I wanted you to know I understand m-more than your parents might or… or maybe anyone you know. And that good will come from it. It takes a long, long time. But good will come out of it.”
Nick covered his mouth, crying.
“I mean y-you’ll get there sooner than you think and y-you’ll go to school and you’ll slowly pick up the pieces and one day you’ll meet the right guy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I know it’s hard to believe but I promise you it will happen. I’ve been there and… and I wouldn’t want to go back but sometimes going through this stuff throws you off b-balance but it puts you back into balance in the p-perfect place even if you didn’t know there was another perfect place.” Adrian leaned over, wrapping his arms tightly around Nick. “Because you’ll get to your perfect place, okay? I promise you, it’s out there.”
Nick nodded, trying to cry quietly so he wouldn’t draw Kyle’s attention to them.
“It gets better. It does.” Adrian ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head. “I promise.”
Nick took several deep breaths, trying to stop his tears. “H-How did you make him go away?”
“I didn’t stay in the area. I left. The texts and calls lasted a few months… Until I got married, he actually tracked me down like five times and would be waiting at my house when I’d get back from school or work. One day Blaine walked up on that happening but he had no idea what was going on. He just thought it was someone I didn’t want to talk to.” Adrian admitted.
“Yeah. He showed up at our house when Kyle and I were engaged… I don’t know what Kyle said or did but I’ve not heard from him sense.” Adrian sniffled and wiped his eyes. “How often does he text you?”
“It used to be every day… now it’s a few times a week.” Nick whispered, wiping his own eyes again.
“Tell Blaine. Get a new number.” Adrian whispered, hugging him. “Your parents are famous… he’d be very stupid to try to see you in person.”
“Is it weird that I don’t want to get a new number? That I… want him to text me?”
“It’s not weird but it’s unhealthy.” Adrian pulled back. “Eventually you have to cut the ties. He wasn’t there when you were going to the hospital, he didn’t visit you in the hospital, he didn’t contact you for two months. He doesn’t care about you. He’s playing with your mind.”
“I know. I know.” Nick let out a shuddery breath.
“Get a new number. Block his number, delete him from your contacts, delete your social media pages. Just get rid of it and void any chance for temptation or weakness.” Adrian bit his lip. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Nick.”
“Thank you for telling me… about you.” Nick met his eyes. “I won’t tell my parents.”
“Thanks. Only Kyle and AJ know what happened.” Adrian gave him a sad smile.
“Not even your parents?” Nick asked.
“No. I didn’t live at home. And they loved him… I had a tough time of shattering that image back then because at the time, I still believed he was a good but very troubled person… and by the time I felt I could say it out loud so much time had passed and I didn’t want to reopen stuff for myself, so I’ve just… not told many people.” Adrian frowned.
“Having the most popular gay couple in America for parents kind of ruined that option for me.” Nick laughed a bit.
Adrian smiled. “I’m always here, okay? Even if you want to call me in the middle of the night… and Kyle’s really great to talk to as well… Just in case you ever want to talk to someone that’s a friend and not a professional… Therapists never really helped me much.”
“Group therapy does nothing but I like the therapist I’ve been seeing.” Nick admitted, almost feeling like weight had been lifted off of him by talking about it with someone who wasn’t Kurt or Blaine.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to them, but they were already having a hard enough time managing right now. Plus, if he complained that group therapy wasn’t working it would technically be breaking his exit plan contract. If his parents felt he was trying to slack off, he could be put back into the outpatient program again… and he really didn’t want that.
“Listening to other people complain always annoyed me.” Adrian sighed. “I think I went twice and then I would go see a movie by myself and pretend I’d gone.”
Nick smiled a bit. He’d never said he’d gone to an appointment when he hadn’t, but that was mainly for Kurt’s state of mind.
“Don’t do that.” Adrian warned. “Blaine will kill me.”
“I won’t.” Nick promised.
“You may be sick of hearing it but you’re doing really, really good. I can only imagine how hard it must be to have gone through an abusive relationship and have an eating disorder…”
“I’m trying.” Nick pulled his knees back to his chest. “Daddy’s overwhelmed… It’s why Dad’s taking him to Ohio.”
Adrian put his hand on Nick’s bad, rubbing it absentmindedly to comfort him. “I bet you wish you could go somewhere and take your mind off it, huh?”
Nick nodded and let out a deep breath. “I’m feeling kind of tired… is it okay if I take a nap until dinner?”
“Of course.” Adrian nodded. “Whichever room you want is fine.”
“Thanks.” Nick went into their house, sidestepping to avoid hitting Kyle who was walking by and looking at his phone.
“You okay?” Kyle asked, looking up.
“Just going to take a nap before dinner.” Nick responded.
“I’ll get you when dinner is ready.” Kyle smiled. “Whichever room you want is yours.”
“Thanks.” Nick said, smiling a bit—Kyle and Adrian may have been opposites, but they were also so similar.
He went into the guest room that he and Zach had always slept in when spending the nights when they were younger.
He plopped on the bed and pulled out his own phone. Two more texts from him.
Fuck you, Nick texted back before blocking his ex’s phone number.
He then went into his contacts, selecting Zach and beginning to type out a message to him.
Hey, can you guys come to the house sometime soon? I miss you.
Miss you too, Zach sent almost immediately. Nick’s phone dinged a second time. You’re staying a Adrian and Kyle’s right? How about dinner tomorrow?
Sounds good, Nick typed back and took a deep breath and then sent a follow up text.
Can you call me tonight too? Later?
I’ll call as soon as I get Ellie picked up from daycare and get her fed. I’m leaving school soon.
Nick let out a relived sigh. He didn’t know why he’d pushed Zach away the last several months—talking to Kurt eased him a bit, but Zach always seemed to know the right thing to say.
About five minutes later, he received a text of Ellie strapped into her car seat. She was fast asleep, a bottle in one hand with her head tilted up and a line of milk coming out of her mouth.
Nick snorted loudly and looked up when Adrian peeked his head in the room.
“Hey, dinner’s done if you’re ready for some.” Adrian whispered.
“Okay.” Nick pocketed his phone and followed Adrian to the kitchen. “I blocked his number.”
Adrian smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Do you feel better?”
“I think so, yeah.” Nick nodded. “Thank you. I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t talked to me. I… It means a lot, so thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Adrian smiled again as Kyle came in with plate of baked chicken, broccoli, and a roll for Nick.
“If you don’t like it or want it, we can either get something else or go out.” Kyle said.
“This is fine.” Nick gave a small, mostly forced smile and sat at the table.
Adrian went to make his own plate.
Nick felt a sense of relief when Kyle sat down, eating and not paying attention to whether Nick had even started to eat. He was so used to feeling Kurt’s eyes on him every so often making sure it looked like he was eating.
Maybe Kurt wasn’t the only one who needed a break from their new routine—maybe staying with Kyle and Adrian was going to be good for Nick.
