Today I bought a single piece of candy at the grocery store, which is my preferred way of obtaining cash if my bank isn't handy because I get a grocery item for it, as opposed to paying ATM fees where I get nothing.
But usually I just punch the '20' button; today I needed $50 specifically, to buy a secondhand bedframe, and thus I discovered that the cashback program only allows for round numbers, and the 'xx' after I'd input 50 signaled not that I had to add two more zeroes to avoid requesting fifty cents, but that I couldn't add cents at all.
By typing in those zeroes and having the display say '$5000.'
I yelped in dismay and hurried to amend it, narrating my error, and the cashier laughed and told me I'd be out of luck if I did want that, because the grocery store didn't have 5k on hand.
'I don't have five thousand dollars!' says I.
'Nobody does,' says that longsuffering lady. I was like, well, some people do have a lot more than that. 'Well I don't know them,' she says. Fair enough.
Half an hour later I went into the mattress store, which was having a sale, and proceeded to try out mattresses. While I was evaluating a tempurpedic, the single employee was telling the only other customer about how one time he had a guy come in and buy one of the most expensive packages in the place, $5,000, and then ask if he could pay for it in cash.
Mister Mattress High Roller proceeded to count out a stack of 50 $100 bills. My guy Vito nearly keeled over with stress being responsible for $5000 cash that wasn't even his own.
