this is all about where my headspace is at rn so pls feel free to ignore~
i've spent this time off tumblr to get my head around this storyline and i think i'm ready to come back and face whatever is coming even if i might not like it. a break from the story has helped but most of all it's the beautiful people that i've met on here that have helped me get through it and i hope that they all know who they are because they've been my absolute rock these last few days. genuinely don't know where i'd be without them <3
about where this story is going... i'll start with the negatives. even if it all comes together in the end, i can’t help but feel that there are things in this story that i won’t forgive. there’s things that don’t make sense to me and there’s things that will probably stay in the back of my head when i’m watching future scenes. i know from past experience that i find it hard to let go sometimes. i can't help that.
saying that, one thing about me is that i don’t like holding on to negative feelings so if ed give me an excuse to stop feeling like this then i will jump at the opportunity to take it. i want to see that light at the end of the tunnel so badly!!
i’m probably gonna be fighting with the part of myself that doesn’t want to feel like this (throughout this storyline and beyond) bc i really am determined to get to a good space again. just… i may need to have a meltdown a little bit of a sulk over what’s happening once in a while (i fear we’ve still got quite the ride to go so apologies in advance…).
i also know myself well enough to know that i’ll still be here once the tide turns because i love them more than i hate this. that’s what i have to keep reminding myself and i hope that resonates with some of you guys too <3
