@weallneedyoutube requested a captain swan fic based on the song "Not Today" by imagine dragons for their prize for winning my 1.8K giveaway---i’m so sorry this took so long, love!
HERE IS A LINK TO THE SONG
The meaning behind ‘Not Today’:Part of loving is breaking each other's hearts. Because neither of you is perfect, love is hard work. We dream of it being easier somehow. But not today - today love is always work. And that is what makes love real - only true love is strong enough to work at loving, all day, every day.
dis: i don’t own ouat
When Emma Nolan first met Killian Jones she knew he was trouble.
She was in a new school, needing to make new friends her Senior year because her father had taken a job in the small town of Maine. Emma hadn’t been happy, hadn’t wanted to leave Boston to start over. When they’d pulled into the small town all she could do was roll her eyes.
She was in hell.
The loft apartment they’d moved into had seen better days but Emma got the whole upstairs to herself while her parents had their room downstairs. They’d arrived on a Thursday and Emma had a slight reprieve and didn’t have to start school until Monday. She’d carried boxes and helped unpack. There was a diner down the street and her parents brought back burgers and fries. They were trying really hard to be optimistic about this move.
She was just annoyed.
She’d decided to go for a walk, to see if there was something worth doing in this small town, when she’d met him. He’d been walking out of the store, wearing black leather and laughing with his friends. She’s stopped in her tracks because he’d gotten in her way.
“Hey!” she’d shouted, making him snap his head to her. He had a fire in his eyes, as if he’d been ready to get into a fight, but when he’d seen who was talking to him that fire ebbed and his eyes had widened a little. “Watch where you’re going.”
“Sorry, Lass,” he said, elbowing his friend, smirking at her. She’d nodded and started walking away but he’d followed her. “I don’t know you. What’s your name?”
“None of your business,” she’d muttered. “And stop following me!”
“As you wish,” he’d said, stopping immediately.
“Weirdo,” she muttered under her breath before heading back to her apartment.
.
.
.
She’d gone to school Monday. Ended up seeing him again in her classes. He’d lifted his brow at her when the teacher insisted she stand and introduce herself. She hated the smirks and looks from the other students and she’d just quickly mumbled her name, that she was from Boston, then sat down. The first student to actually talk to her was Belle French. A nice girl who always had a book in her hand. Emma sat with her at lunch and when loud laughter came from the corner she had to ask.
“Who is he?”
“Killian Jones,” said Belle French.
“What’s his story?”
Belle shrugged. “Everyone calls him bad news because he gets into trouble a lot.”
“But?” prompted Emma.
“I think there’s more to it,” she said simply.
.
.
.
She turned in her seat to stare at Killian. “Stop it.”
“Stop what, Emma?” he asked, blue eyes wide.
“I can feel you staring at me.”
“Well... You are sitting in front of me.”
“You know what I mean,” she said through narrowed eyes.
He only grinned. “I really don’t.”
A part of her hated him, especially when he winked at her. But when her pencil broke and he offered her another one over her shoulder without a comment... A part of her started to be...
Infatuated.
So infatuated that she stopped rolling her eyes every time he greeted her.
So infatuated that she started looking forward to seeing him in the morning.
So infatuated that when he asked her to go to prom with him she’d said yes and laughed at his perplexed look because he’d been expecting her to say no.
Everyone warned her, even her father. That he was a bad boy that got into fights. Emma saw something more. She saw the way he’d flinch if she’d get too close too fast. She saw the wince he’d had on his face when his friend clapped him on the back too hard. She saw the look of horror on his face when she surprised him at his house one day and did his best to get her to leave by walking with her down the street.
“Killian?”
“Yes, love?” he asked, fingertips ghosting over hers as they sat at the dock looking out at the sea. The same sea that calmed her in her more troubled times.
“You okay?” She looked at him then, eyes wide open, showing him that she knew.
“I’m a survivor, Emma, don’t worry about me.”
.
.
.
“Run away with me.”
“What?”
“Run away with me.”
“I can’t.”
He sighed. “I know.”
“Is it your father?” she asked, hand going to his bruising jaw. “Killian... Come talk to my Dad.”
“I’ll handle it.”
“Killian...”
“I love you, Swan.”
A nickname he’d given her once, when she admitted to loving the animal as it swam in the ponds close to her home. He’d kissed her, walked away, and then never came back.
.
.
.
“Killian?”
“Emma.” He smiled. “Long time no see.”
“Five years.” She looked away, lips pressed together.
“I know. I-”
“What are you doing back here?” she asked, looking at him now. Ever the same but different. No more glasses, her hair was longer and curled more at the ends, and she had a stony look about her that had him feeling guilty as hell knowing he’d put it there.
“Facing my demons.”
“Your father.” Emma nodded. “I’m sorry.”
Killian shrugged. “He was a bastard.”
“He was still your father,” said Emma. “So I’m still sorry.”
“Thank you, Swan.” His eyes went to her finger and he smiled sadly. “Who is the lucky bloke?”
“You remember Neal?” she asked.
“BAGELFIRE is your fiance?”
“Don’t let him hear you call him that,” said Emma with a wince. “He still gets bags of bagels sent to his office on the anniversary of burning his parents house down.”
He chuckled at that, hands going into his pockets. “You’re happy?”
“I am,” she said, looking down at her hand. Five years ago, when he’d told her he’d loved her for the first time, a small part of her had wondered if this would happen for her and Killian.
“Good.” He hesitated before offering his hand. She hesitated before taking it, a simple handshake that sent sparks up her arm. “It was nice seeing you, Emma.”
“You, too.”
.
.
.
Emma never got married. She found Neal in bed with another woman and ran. She ran from her family, from her home, and went back to the city that made her feel safe. Boston was large and loud and filled with people that didn’t know her name. She became a bounty hunter and was soon one of the best in the business. She had a nice apartment, a nice life, but she was just so... So...
Lonely.
Her phone rang one night while eating take-out and watching Game of Thrones. She’d paused her DVR to answer. “Hello?”
“Swan?”
“Killian?” She frowned. “How did you get this number?”
“Belle.”
She smiled. Of course. “How are you?”
“In Storybrooke. Looking for you. I... Heard what happened with Neal. I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not. Happy it happened before I was married to the guy. I...” Emma frowned. Why was she telling him this? “A small part of me never loved him as much as I should have.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because of reasons I don’t feel like talking about right now.”
A pause. “So what are you doing?”
“Watching TV. What has you in Storybrooke?”
“Decided to move back here,” he said.
“Really?” she asked, surprised.
“Really. Perhaps when you come visit your parents next... We could catch up further?”
“Why are you calling me, Killian?” she asked, sounding tired all of a sudden.
“Because I miss you, Swan.”
.
.
.
“It’s nice.”
Emma was at his home. She was visiting the weekend. It was right on the beach. She could smell the sea-air as it swirled in through the curtained windows. It was a simple cottage. It needed a little love. Some paint, a new set of shutters on one of the windows. Inside the home seemed... Bare. He had the essentials but there was not much else.
“You like it?” he asked.
“Could use a splash of color,” she said, eyeing the neutral furniture. There wasn’t even any framed photographs. “Or a potted plant.”
“Want to redecorate?” he asked with a grin, handing her a beer. She took it, eagerly taking a pull from the bottle before walking to the sofa. She sat and he followed, sitting on the opposite end. “How long you in town for?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow night.”
“Shame you can’t stay longer,” he said, making her look down and pick at the label on her bottle. “Stay for dinner?”
“Mom is making pasta tonight. She invited Regina over. Apparently she’s friends with the mayor. I’m expected.”
“Ah.”
“You can come tonight, if you’d like?” she asked, and he shook his head, making her heart drop a little.
“Haven’t always gotten along with the mayor, think its best I keep my distance.”
“Okay,” she said with a shrug, acting like she didn’t care.
“Tell me something,” he said at the door when she decided to leave.
“What?”
“If I’d have stayed...” He broke off, looking up at her, and suddenly her chest was tight. “Would we have made it?”
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.
“I loved you, Swan. A part of me still does.”
“I can’t do this right now,” she whispered, closing her eyes.
“It isn’t fair, I know. I left, and I regret it every day. Emma... Just... Think about it?”
.
.
.
She left. She left for Boston and waited almost six months before going back to visit. It was the holidays. The snow made everything white and clean and the crisp air was refreshing compared to the city-air of Boston. She’d remained in her parents home. Hiding. He’d tried calling her a few times before giving up. A part of her had been sad he’d stopped calling.
But what had she expected?
She heard from Belle he was seeing someone and Emma had cried herself to sleep that night after drinking a bottle of wine. The same wine she was drinking now while staring into the fire of the home her parents had bought. They had a dog, too, and it lay curled against her legs next to her. Her parents had fallen asleep ages ago. Her phone chirped and she looked down at her screen.
K-I hear you’re in town.
E-I am.
K-Can we talk?
She hesitated, biting her lower lip.
E- Sure. Your place?
K- I’ll see you tomorrow.
.
.
.
His place looked different. There were soft blue pillows on the couch and a crocheted afghan over the back of it. There were photos of people she didn’t know. A man with his wife and child. One of Killian and the man.
“That’s Liam.” Killian smiled. “A brother I never knew I had.”
“Really?”
Killian nodded. “Found out about them a couple months ago. Went to visit them. They live in upstate New York.”
“You’re getting close?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“I’m glad.” She sipped her beer. “What else is new?”
“Nothing, really.”
“You... Seeing anyone?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m not.”
“I heard otherwise,” she said.
“What do you care, Swan?” he asked, making her get angry.
“I’ve always cared.”
He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m not seeing anyone. Have I had relations with other women? Yes but...” He sighed again. “No one compares to you, Emma.”
“Killian...” Emma put her beer down. A part of her wanted to go. To run. Instead she walked to him. She cupped his face and he looked down at her, a sad urgency behind his eyes. “Why can’t we make this work?”
He laughed, pulling her into a hug. “I’m not sure, Lass.”
“I love you,” she said finally, making his arms tighten around her.
“I love you, too.” He smiled sadly.
Sometimes, love wasn’t enough.
She still went back to Boston, but with a heavy heart. He asked her to think about coming back for good, she said she would. After two months she started packing the first box. When her apartment was bare she left the keys on the counter, then drove back to Maine. Her parents were happy to take her back in but she said she’d wanted to look for her own place.
Their old loft was for rent and she’d taken it.
She’d sent Killian a message and he met her there.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” She opened the door and he entered, looking around the loft. “So you’re back? For good?”
“For good,” she said.
“Good.” He walked to her and kissed her. He kissed her for all those missing years. When they broke apart he rest his forehead against hers and she laughed while hugging him close again. “So what do we do now?”
“How about we not worry about that? We don’t need to plan today. Or tomorrow... Just...”
“Go with the flow?” he asked, making her smile.
“Yeah.”
“As you wish, Swan.” Killian ran a hand through her hair, tucking the pieces behind her ear. “So long as you don’t mind me thinking about one day moving all these boxes into my place.”
I was tagged by the lovely @captainqueenofpotatoes
Rules: no repeating characters
A character that:
Has yellow eyes: Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Has blue eyes: Mikaela Hyakuya (Seraph of the End)
Has red eyes: Soul Evans (Soul Eater)
Has white hair: Yashiro Isana (K Project)
Has black hair: Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)
Has freckles: Marco Bodt (Attack on Titan)
Wears brackets (braces?): I don’t know anybody :/
Wears glasses: Alfred F. Jones (Hetalia)
Older than you: Hideyoshi Nagachika (Tokyo Ghoul)
Younger than you: Shinji Ikari (Evangelion)
Has your age: Kaworu Nagisa (Evangelion)
Taller than you: Makoto Tachibana (Free!)
Shorter than you: Mitsukuni Haninozuka (Ouran High School Host Club)
Has your height: Winry Rockbell (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Likes to read: Hinami Fueguchi (Tokyo Ghoul)
Likes to eat: Tsukiyama Shuu (Tokyo Ghoul)
Likes to play video games: Killua Zoldyck (Hunter X Hunter)
Can run for 30 minutes: Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail)
Can’t run for 30 minutes: Ciel Phantomhive (Black Butler)
You love, and still love: Kaneki Ken (Toyko Ghoul)
Hate, and still hate: Neko (K Project)
Hate and now love: Asuka Langley (Evangelion)
Cinnamon Roll: Sugawara Koushi (Haikyuu!)
Sinnamon Roll: Shion (No. 6)
This was actually really fun but took forever!! Do you know how hard it is to find an anime character who is the same height as you?!?! Anyways I tag: @toxzen @weallneedyoutube @lem0ns and @black-and-blue-shadows
Name your 10 favorite characters from movies or tv series, then tag 10 friends.
i was tagged by shaped-for-fighting
Killian jones (ouat)
castiel (supernatural)
the 10th doctor (doctor who)
emma swan (ouat)
barney stinson (himym)
Gwen Stacy (tasm)
Dean winchester (supernatural)
max black (2 broke girls)
sam winchester (supernatural)
Belle (ouat and beauty and the beast)
I’m tagging (you don´t have to do it if someone else already tagged you):
mryddinwilt, captainswanandclintasha,, weallneedyoutube, onceuponahistoryofmagic, madkingofstorybrooke, neverendingairbender, morevictorianthanyou, owlways-and-forever, lizzyc807shipscaptainswan, welcome-2-1989, and winter-by-the-sea (sorry if they aren´t 10, but I just couldn´t decide)
