#webeweaving

[my-dearest-forest]

all i want

is to have someone who loves me back as much as i love them

one day ill have somewhere to put all the love i have to give

[my-dearest-forest]

Maybe Love

Maybe love isnt meant to be perfect

maybe its not supposed to be the guy who says all the right things, who has the perfect future planned out, the perfect degree, a picture-perfect family, and, on the surface, is objectively exactly what someone would write down when asking for their ideal man

Maybe love is meant to be messy, and raw, and something you can't control or stop no matter how little sense it makes

maybe its the guy who knows you better than yourself, who is willing to change his future to make you happy, a degree he has passion in, who you know would put the family you create above everything

Maybe love is an unstoppable force, no matter how hard you fight it for the sake of other people

[my-dearest-forest]

i dont know why i check your spotify

or her vsco

or our old apps

maybe its the same reason i used to go study on the floor of the butterdome

or why i go for a run when stressed

maybe after all this time im just looking for proof that it was real

that someone, even just for a moment, loved me that much

[my-dearest-forest]

Carefully crafted thread

There are so many different parts of me that I have created over the years. Some I recognize and some that look so different it may as well have not been me. I have been non stop growing, and moving, and changing, and adapting like a Chameleon.

I spent my whole life adapting and fitting into the molds of what people wanted me to be, but after all that time i stopped knowing who i was

so if you'll excuse me i will be sat on this forest floor with every version of me i have ever known scattered around me slowly piecing myself together with a carefully crafted thread. One made of pine needles, a garnet and gold string, strands of curly hair, an old friendship bracelet, a shoelace, a gas receipt, my childhood blanket, and yellow cedar tree roots.

Because I deserve to be entirely, completely, wholly, unapologetically me.

[artys-heartbreak]

Girlhood is the first exile.

You are taught to leave yourself

long before anyone calls it survival.

And womanhood?

It’s the long way back home

to a body you were told to be afraid of

[domiej]

It’s over😭 my babies

Best manga I’ve read.

The slow burn was executed well, in my opinion, I’ve seen ppl complain about it but I was realistic and not fast but not extremely slow to the point where you feel like dropping.

The thing I liked most was yoon’s attitude. Eeevveryone seems to complain about it and she just didn’t care. And he liked her anyways. I think a lot of times we see FL be bubbly or easily dominated, or meek but she wasn’t. I love her stubborn hardheaded self.

Now it’s over and my heart is broken because I know I’ll never find anything like it.

I guess that’s the price of a good book.

[domiej]

Cruelty

April 22

I use to write a lot

I don’t anymore, maybe I should

Writing to me now, is sore, it makes me tired. Tired because I never really get anywhere, it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s all just inward. It reverts back to me

Writing is an ache to me now, reaching out and never getting even the wind to blow past your hand. It’s just nothingness. An ache that has nowhere to go.

I keep thinking about my mother. She sits on the top of my head. I ask her the same things over and over again and I never get an answer because she never really ever speaks to me. She just sits there, on my brain, with no face and no hood explanation as to why it had to be like this.

I’m getting older and all I must do is bite so hard against my own teeth. Everyone’s finding love and creating families or even making stupid wrong decisions. And all I can think about is who I am.

Yes! Call it self pity, call it lazy and unprogressive but I can’t get over it.

My adoptive mother is getting old, she’s declining slowly. And other people might look to her with pity and sympathy but all I can look at her with is hate, is that wrong to say?

I wonder what joy you get out of lying to someone for so long. What joy you get out of deception.

I wonder how much hate you must have to lie to someone for so long and smile as if nothing is wrong.

Everyone deceived me, everyone who ever knew me, friends of family, family itself, regular people and now I must pretend like nothing is wrong.

My faith in peoples words are forever shaken. I now question everything about everyone and even myself.

I trust no one. No one at all. How did strangers have more right to my life then I did about myself?

My adoptive mom is sad because I don’t love her, I don’t. I don’t think I could ever love someone who found safety in cruelty.

[my-dearest-forest]

"Casual"

I cant do casual

Im not built for stumble down the block into my room at 2 am only for you to leave at 4

Not created for sleeping back to back hands too tired to wander to find eachother

Cant handle half eye contact from across sober rooms and unspoken stares in drunk ones

Incapable of not falling for you as I stare into your eyes, hands tangled into your hair

Im built for stumbling out of bed in the morning to brush our teeth together

Created for sleeping so tangled in eachother you cant help but wake up to kiss my forehead

Holding hidden hands in sober rooms and each other in drunk ones, friends be damned

Capable of being subtle, but my hands still tracing your waist when passing in hallways

I will never be good at pretending "we’re just friends" and nothing more, and I never have been

I am made to play with your hair while talking with our friends, 

created to share every glass of water I drink with you

Giggling like a schoolgirl when you text me

Definitely not locked in or subtle

- Apr 14 2025, 10 am, when i should be studying for my final in 3 hours