I just had a really really really really really cool job interview for a volunteer job (for a few hours per month) and I'm SO excited about it. Told them I'll let them know tomorrow if I want it; I'm 99% sure I do but I know it's better to sleep on it and see if any fears or anxieties pop up bc that's a sure way to know it's activating something somewhere internally.
And then. And then it's just hoping they'd want me too!!!!!
Also a bit hesitant on whether or not to tell A because it's kinda related to dissociative stuff and it's very likely she knows this org and what if she hates it or what if she thinks I shouldn't be doing anything like this... aaah!!!! (Okay maybe that's echoes of T telling me 'it's probably best if you never do anything in the mental health field', even though this is not even in the mental health field...)
Anyway. We'll see. It's very possible some part will blurt it out for various reasons. I hope A won't shame me for it or tell me it's a bad idea. Gosh the longing for approval from her is really big, shame shame. Gonna try and sleep now.
