#weekend delights

[fuzzyghost]

[paralyticpackage-blog]

So I had a fairly good night last night, had a fair laugh with some friends and then went back to Kircolm with Deborah where we found out that we couldn't get into the house. To avoid waking anyone up, we decided to get in one of the cars (which apparently they don't lock) and planned to sleep there till her dad got up. Now this was an okay idea, except that it was fucking freezing in the car. We put the heating op for about half an hour, but switched it off to avoid waking anyone again. It rolled round to about 8am and we decided to head to the door and knock. Got let in no bother and went straight to bed, where we stayed until 4ish then went down for dinner. 

After dinner we all went to church and they dropped me off at home. Now I'm working my way through some past papers (English prelim tomorrow) and my mother is being a complete bitch because I didn't tell her I was going to my friends house. Then of course it moves onto 'I'm not happy about this new attitude Rona' and her final comment before leaving the room; 'I put flowers on your boyfriends grave today'. I really wish she'd just back the fuck off, I mean I've got enough to think about and concentrate on without her bitching and whining with her smart-arse comments every chance she gets. I just want to forget everything for a day or so. Have nobody tell me what I should be doing and not have to remember anything. 

I'm sick of having to be strong and deal with this. I'm sick of having to concentrate on exams I'm going to fail anyway. I just want to stop feeling this shit all the time. I've only been to the grave once, I'm pretty sure I should have been several times by now. But I don't know how to act when I'm there and I don't know what to do. :/ I might go tomorrow, not sure yet.