#weeklyhorrorscope

[weeklyhorrorscope]

had to… like… look it up… but my… like… sign is… like… nrub'yiglith… the like… shamebeast king… of… like… grotesquery…

this is like… still… tt…

☆ Oh~ Nrub'yiglith, also known as the Writhe-Lord of the Moist Beyondhood, is said to have melodious chirps and to sing songs that instill pure vitriol in those who hear them. Nrub'yiglith is commonly depicted as a sort of feathered flightbeast, but is very rarely also shown specifically as one with serpantine features~ Very fearsome, right~?☆

☆ Trolls under this sign are associated with shame, sociability, and an abundance of resilience. Since I know you're interested in romance~ trolls born under your sign are broadly considered attractive in conciliatory quadrants, with a few exceptions that don't really matter.☆

☆ Nrub'yiglith has been partially obscured for a while but is about to come back into view within the next few days, so I suggest taking some time in the next few weeks to work on things you may have been procrastinating on. Finish up any old projects you have before moving on to new ones~☆

☆ Enjoy~ and feel free to come back for another reading if you have more questions~☆

[weeklyhorrorscope]

☆ Horrorscope Quadrant Compatibility PSA~☆

☆ To those who ask for quadrant compatibility reading, here’s an important note~☆

☆ Horrorscopes, like many other things, are merely ONE FACTOR of many to consider when decision-making. If I tell you that, for example, someone you have been courting in the pitch quadrant is horrorscopically compatible with you paleways, that does NOT mean you should flip pale for them~ It means it is simply one option of MANY that you should take into consideration!☆

☆ So, just because your horrorscope signs are compatible, it doesn’t mean you should make rash decisions without considering how the trolls you are pursuing may respond. Horrorscopes are one of the many forces influencing our lives. We don’t live in a bubble after all!☆

☆ That is all~ Have a lovely night and may the mysteries of the deep unknown guide you~☆

[weeklyhorrorscope]

wondering if i could get a basic horrorscope reading, pls and thx???

i'm a seadweller and 96% shore that my sign is "scul'xuggua" based what goregle told me B3

-@ultimat3d3bait3r78

☆ Scul’xuggua, the Hellacious Head of Humorterror~ this is a sign that’s particularly envied by those of the church. The constellation representing it is surrounded by many stories of great subjuggalation by the highbloods~ though that may or may not be as fascinating to a seadweller and it is to someone as low as I.☆

☆ That said, trolls with this horrorscope tend to be great company at social events and are considered to be particularly attractive in the red quadrants~ They are associated with being optimistic, ruthless, and hilarious. The indeterminable whims dredged out by the decadent horrorterrors are more likely to slip past you than to seep into you. This is a double-edged blade~ be careful how you hold it.☆

☆ You have your best days when the greater pink moon is exposed to you but not obscuring Skul’xuggua’s constellation. I would advise against making any big decisions during the parts of the sweep that the sun is between you and your horrorscope.☆

☆ Enjoy~ don’t open unmarked boxes until after poking it with a long object first. I hope you come back for another reading sometime, hehe~☆

[weeklyhorrorscope]

my sign is þhan'eleos of the deep. what do you þink my week will look like, if youre so good

☆ Hm, Than’eleos of the Deep, Deathshocker of the Grueling Writhewroughts. It is said that its glare could kill you in less than a second. It’s usually portrayed as a triple-headed beast with a thunderous roar and devilish whiskers~☆

☆ Trolls under this sign are associated with indecisiveness, self-indulgence, studiousness, and being sore losers, hehe~ They often get too wrapped up in their own bullshit to actually pay attention to what's going on around them. Generally, they have to work pretty hard to be aware of their surroundings.☆

☆Than'eleos of the Deep's constellation is often obscured by the moons, depending on where you live. Your week's forecast looks pretty grim~ I would recommend getting out more on moonless nights. Sitting inside all night really doesn't do much for a troll's pallor~☆

☆ Enjoy and be wary of solitude~ A lonely troll makes an easy target, hehe~☆

[weeklyhorrorscope]

☆ Horrorscopes 101~☆

☆ Okay, I’m posting this because it has come to my attention that not everyone on Grumblr knows how astrology and horoscopes, let alone HORRORSCOPES, work!☆

☆ For those with a smidgen of cranial fluid flowing through their think pan, horoscopes are those cuuuute little riddles you read about in the daily news~ The riddles based on your astrological sign, obviously~☆

☆ For the atrociously misunderstanding~ your horoscope, or astrological sign, is NOT your caste sign. Your caste sign is based on your blood (duh!), while your horoscope sign is based on when and where you wiggled your way out of the caverns. There’s online calculators for this, just search Goregle!☆

☆ There are 48 horoscope signs in total. They are based on the zodiac of noble Horrorterrors and are similar in nature to our incredible Empress’s own lusus, the Emissary to the Horrorterrors~! Horrorterrors, much like the horrid, unspeakable daymares those who try to sleep without the aid of sopor experience, are ethereally trepidatious~!☆

☆ If looking up your horoscope is just too much fucking work for you, I’ve got some great news for you! Horrorscopes, while derived from horoscopes, are a form of divination that can be done even if you don’t specifically know your horoscope sign.☆

☆ Horrorscopes place more emphasis on what happens between the stars~! There are the horrors that we can know (the stars, the constellations, the horoscopes) and horrors we cannot (the inky darkness between the stars, the vastness of space, the ranks of Horrorterrors beyond our mortal comprehension)~ and horrorscopes are a form of astrology that focuses on the unknown horrors.☆

☆ So yeah, that’s the gist of it. If you still don’t get it, I suggest either sending me an ask, doing your own research, or knocking your skull against a thick plane of concrete repeatedly until you reset your thinkpan and start from scratch, hehe~ ☆

(OOC: On this blog, horrorscopes signs are based on horrorterrors. They’re not referring to classpecting at all. Feel free to make stuff up when sending asks 👍)

[weeklyhorrorscope]

you actually made me kiNda curiouz az to theze readiNgz. may i get oNe for cr'zh-juun? geNeral or romaNce take your pick

☆ Cr’zh Juun, the Tidal Terrorforce~ Often associated with being bold and competitive, this is a horrorscope makes a really good friend. Now is currently a bad time to pursue any black romances that are not already pre-existing. I suggest making clear affectionate moves towards any current blackrom partners of yours~☆

☆ As for redrom, your best bets on moirails will be with Ith'ae'gor or F’baaal Ghel, who are both pretty down-to-Alternia~☆

☆ When it comes to matespritship, your best option is those under the constellation of Mwrsworra, The Midsummer Warlord~☆

☆ May the darkness lead you cruelly~ enjoy!☆

[weeklyhorrorscope]

☆ Horrorscope Compatibility Facts~☆

Since many trolls don’t know much about how horrorscopes work, let alone horrorscopic compatibility, I figured some of you would like to know some fun facts~☆

☆ I calculated approximately how many trolls one will be horrorscopically compatible with in each quadrant. Presuming that horrorscopes are evenly distributed among all trolls, here’s the results~☆

☆ For the Ashen quadrant, you will initially be compatible with 18 signs (37.5% of all trolls), though once one of your partners’ horrorscopes have been taken into consideration, there are only 6 signs (12.5% of all trolls) remaining that you are both compatible with for your third partner~☆

☆ You will be compatible with 9 other signs (18.75% of all trolls) for the Pale quadrant.☆

☆ You will be compatible with 3 other signs (6.25% of all trolls) for both the Pitch and Flush quadrants. This is the lowest compatibility rate, so if your crush is horrorscopically compatible, you should really take care not to piss them off or avoid them without a good fucking reason, else you risk not finding another troll who’s compatible AND a total catch~☆

☆ Enjoy~ and may the horrific beings of the moist beyond guide you with their unseen tendrils~☆

[weeklyhorrorscope]

Doth thov have any advice for one vvhose horrorscope is Ith'ae'gor?

☆ Ith’ae’gor, He Who Makes Giants Tremble~ trolls ruled by this constellation tend to be quick to come to conclusions, down-to-Alternia, and ruthless. It’s likely that you make a lot of presumptions with most of them being at least somewhat accurate. The ones you’re wrong about are what you really need to look out for~☆

☆ Depending on the time of sweep, your sign is either clear or obscured. This is one of those signs who tend to benefit some from having a little bit of fluff between them and their constellation~ it keeps you from getting TOO stuffy~☆

☆ I would advise taking the occasional walk when your horrorscope isn’t visible to keep things balanced. Also, avoid small creatures like nutbeasts and squeakfiends. Enjoy and may the stars and their murky rulers guide you~☆