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Amnesia (final part) | Draco x Reader

BEFORE YOU READ...PART ONE, PART TWO, PART THREE

Prompt: After your memories come back, you and Draco can finally pick up where you left off. However, with all good things come the bad things. When memories of the painful past start to erupt, how do you and Draco move forward? Or will you?

Warnings: 18+ sexual content (bondage kink, dirty talk), panic attacks, language, fighting (verbal), anxiety, PTSD (Please do not read if you think any of this will be triggering! Take care of yourself!)

Word count: 8.9k

A/N: So sorry for the delay in releasing this final part. Many thanks to those you keep coming back for more. All my love! This story is not about romanticizing mental health issues. These are serious conditions and this story is not meant to romanticize or fantasize these topics. It’s used as a vessel to convey a different story. That being said, please take care of yourself and sending everyone lots of love.

Flashbacks told in italics!

Your body is nearly shaking from how hard you are holding onto Draco, arms wrapped around each other, refusing to let the other go. It isn’t until you feel the tears running down your cheeks that you realize you are crying in your tight, loving embrace. Draco strokes your hair, inhaling your scent deeply, the sense of comfort washing over his body, calming every fear he had about losing you.

The two of you stayed in this position for what felt like forever. You would have stayed there longer if you could have. His arms felt like home. The feeling of his chest pressed against yours so firmly that you could feel his heartbeat align with yours. Slowly, Draco peeled away from your embrace so he could hold your face in his hands. His eyes were brimmed with tears before he noticed the tears streaming down your face. “Oh, no, darling,” he chuckled, kissing the tears the left your eyes. “Don’t cry. This is supposed to be a happy moment,” he tells you, peppering your cheeks in kisses as you giggle.

Draco looks into your eyes as you blush. His gaze always made you feel shy. He still had such an effect on you even after all these years. You start to lean closer to him to press a long awaited kiss to his pink lips, but he stops you. “What? Let me kiss you,” you tell him.

“I believe I owe you a story tonight,” Draco smirks. You sigh, but can’t help but smile at him. “We can pick up right where we left off last night,” he tells you. “Then I’m all yours,” he wiggles his eyebrows.

You teasingly push his shoulder. You excitedly crawl on your bed and lay on your pillow, tapping the spot next to you for your boyfriend to lay down next to you. He sighs and shakes his head before obliging and laying next to you. You rest your head on his chest and his arm slithers around you waist and the other traces circles on your hips lazily. The gesture could honestly put you to sleep, but your excitement to be with Draco kept you wide awake. You snuggle deeper into Draco’s touch as he chuckles, “Comfy?” You nod your head and you can feel him smile into the kiss he places on the top of your head. “Alright, now where were we yesterday...ah, our first kiss.”

When you two arrive back to the common room, the two of you just stare at each other for a moment. “Thank you for tonight. I needed that,” you tell him.

“It was my pleasure. Thank you for saying yes,” Draco tells you. “I like you, (Y/N). Truly. I do.”

His words make your heart speed up. You let in a shaky breath before responding, “I like you, Draco. I do. Truly.”

That’s when he knew it was time. He smiled before leaning down and dipping his head to connect your lips.

Draco’s lips were cold from being outside for so long, but his kiss was warm. As you kissed him back, his hands found your hips and pulled you sharply closer to him. You lightly squealed as he did so, but wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your lips harder against his. He allowed a small moan to escape his lips as you tangled your fingers in his blonde hair, tugging at his roots lightly. His large hands squeezed your hips before trailing down your lower back before taking your bum into both of his hands and squeezing it lightly. You gasp and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. He tasted of cool peppermint as his tongue swirled around your mouth before teasingly bitting your glossed bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth. The action was undoubtedly sexually charged and you couldn’t help but have a rush of heat to your stomach. Draco was undeniably hot.

He attempted to pull away from the kiss, but you weren’t going to let him get away that quickly. You grab his face again and kiss him again, this time with much more urgency and desire than the previous kiss. Draco smirks into the kiss, kissing you back with just as much intensity, wanting you just as badly as you wanted him. One hand rests on your lower back and his other on the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair. He pulls on your roots, making your head lean back so he can kiss your neck, placing hot, open mouthed kisses down your neck and jawline. You sigh at the contact and hold onto Draco’s shoulders as he does so. “Shit,” you breathe out as Draco starts biting and sucking on the flesh at the base of your neck. He wanted to leave a mark on you that was so big and so dark that this whole damned school could see that someone had marked their territory. If you were going to be his, Draco wanted everyone to know that you were his and his only.

Draco’s lips part from your neck as his blue eyes stare into yours, the both of you breathless, panting to catch your breaths. In that moment, something clicked in your brain. The way that Draco looked at you made you feel vulnerable and all your guards came down so easily, but you were strangely okay with that. The boy did something to you. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but you trusted him. “I’m going to make you mine, (Y/N). I swear on that,” he pants. “I don’t break my promises.”

“Alright,” you smile at him as he smirks. “I’ll hold you to that.”

As Draco finishes the story, you look up at him. “Well, I certainly am yours,” you tell him, kissing his nose as he scrunches his nose in the process. “You didn’t break that promise.”

Draco props himself up on his elbows. “I don’t break any promises, darling. It’s not in my nature to do so,” he tells you as you rolls his eyes. Draco definitely had an issue with his pride, but you were willing to look past it. “Anyway,” he grabs your hip and pulls you on top of him in one swift motion. “I think you wanted to do something earlier...would you still like to do it?” he asks, eyes glued on your chest as it is pressed against his, causing your breasts to slightly spill out of your v-neck jumper.

You notice his gaze and place a finger under his chin and push his gaze up to your eyes. “Eyes are up here, Malfoy,” you speak as he gulps. His eyes scan your face as he bites his lip.

“You are a sight for sore eyes, (Y/L/N),” Draco speaks as he let his hands run down your back, lightly grasping your bum in his hands. “Godric, I’ve missed you.”

And with that, you press your lips against his. You couldn’t take it anymore. His lips were warm and soft and immediately responded to your lips on his. Your hand cupped his cheek as you kissed him, his arms wrapping around your figure tightly as to not let you go. Your mouths moved in synch, tongues pushing against each other, your bottom lips then being captured between his teeth as he tugged on it lightly. As you deepened the kiss, Draco sharply pulls away and digs into his pants pocked to grab his wand.

With a swift motion, he says, “Muffliato,” whilst pointing at the door. The door clicks with a lock and Draco lets a deviously chuckle reverberate through his chest, making your want for him grow. “Can’t have any visitors now, can we?” he connects your lips again, hungry for more.

Before you register what’s going on, Draco flips you over so he’s on top now and he pulls his black shirt over his head and onto the floor. You reach to touch his toned body, but he pins your hands over your head and pulls your jumper off in an easy motion to reveal your breasts over flowing out of your bra. His lips find yours again as his hands grope your breasts outside of the thin material of your bra as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling his body impossibly closer to yours. He starts to grind his hips against yours as you groan, feeling his erection through his dress pants. “Draco,” you moan as he smiles while kissing down your neck.

He mumbles against your skin, “Tell me what you want, kitten. Use your words.”

You gulp as he continues to rub himself against you as you struggle to formulate a sentence. “I-I...shit...” you speak as he grinds against you, “I want you...please.”

“I need more detail than that, kitten,” he teases in your ear before nibbling it. “Paint me a picture,” he speaks. “I wanna hear that pretty little mouth say what that dirty mind is thinking,” he says before unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them down your legs before throwing them to the floor. “Go on.”

You relish in Draco’s hands that rake up your thighs, your stomach, up to your chest before landing on your neck and then your chin, forcing your eyes on his. He wanted you to look deep into his eyes as you confessed how much you wanted him to fuck you senseless.

As your eyes stared into his piercing blue ones, you gather up the words to say, “I want you to fuck me.” A smirk appears on his face as he urges you to go on, his hands tailing up and down your body. “I want you to take me how you want to take me,” you confess as his hands slip into your panties, you gasping. “I...I want to you have me a squirming mess, Draco. I want you...fuck,” you whisper as Draco starts to rub lazy figure eights on your clit. “I-I...I want...I-”

Draco teases you further, “You want what, kitten?” You gulp, screwing your eyes shut as he continues to rub your clit, picking up his speed before plunging one of his fingers into your wet core. You arch your back in pleasure as he starts to pump in and out of you slowly. “Tell me.” You cannot form any words, too distracted the pleasure that is building up inside of you. Draco’s thumb swirls around your clit as he inserts another finger inside of you, pumping in and out, curling inside of you, hitting your g-spot as you moan loudly. “Tell me what you want, baby, or I’ll stop.” You still don’t speak as Draco continues to pleasure you. But then he abruptly stops, making you whine. He grabs your jaw and forces you to watch him. “Did I stutter? I said to tell me what you want. Only good girls get what they want.”

You gulp as watch him stick his fingers in his mouth as it drips with your juices, tasting you on his tongue. The sight was enough to make you cum. You inhale deeply, you rest rising and falling before speaking, “I want you to take me how you want me. I want you to make me beg for your cock.”

His mouth turns into a mischievous grin before his fingers are inside you again as you moan. “As you wish,” he whispers huskily in your ear. His thumb is on your clit again, harder and faster, making your mind reel with pleasure. “You want me to fuck that tight pussy of yours, huh? You want my cock inside you?” he pushes you closer to the edge with his fingers and his words.

You nod feverishly, “Please.”

Draco is pumping in and out of you hard, his thumb sloppily drawing circles on your clit, making you claw at his back, digging your nails into his flesh. Your toes curl in pleasure. “Yeah? You like that? You want me balls deep in you don’t you? You want me to fuck you senseless, kitten? You want me to fuck you like a good girl?” he growls in your ears as you moan out loudly.

You’re inches away from finishing before Draco stops what he was doing again, making you groan in annoyance. You look at him with an annoyed expression on your face as he undoes his belt. Before you can ask him what’s he’s doing, he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. Then taking his black leather belt, he ties your wrists together and then ties it to your bed’s headboard. A takes a good look at you tied up underneath him and he smiles devilishly at the sight. “This is how I want to take you tonight,” he growls as you wetness grows.

He pulls his trousers down along with his boxers. His cock is rock hard for you as it hits his stomach. You gulp, you almost forgot how large he was. Draco rolls a rubber on his length and pumps himself a few times before lining himself up to your entrance, but not pushing himself inside of you. “Dray, please,” you whine.

“You said you wanted to beg, so I’m going to make you beg,” he grabs your chin. Draco teases you, pushing his tip in between your folds, up and down as you arch your back. “I said beg,” he demands.

“Please, fuck me, Draco, I need you so badly, please,” you beg, your eyes pleading him as he continues to tease you. He wanted to basically squirming, writhing, and yelling underneath him. And he hadn’t even put himself inside you. “I need your cock inside my tight little pussy. I’m so wet for you, baby. Please I want you to fuck me so good like you always do,” you try to reach for him, but the belt restrains you from touching him.

Draco chuckles as you squirm under him. He knew how badly you wanted him, needed him. But he wanted to see how long he could get away with it. Slowly, he pushed his tip inside of you as you groaned out. Draco bit back a moan, needing to refrain from pushing the rest of his length into your wet pussy. “You want more? I want you to scream for me, kitten. Fucking beg for my cock,” he growl.

Your mind is reeling and you can’t get over how your heat is throbbing for him. “Draco, fuck me, already won’t you?” you yell. “I can’t take it anymore I need your cock railing into me so hard that I see stars!”

And that’s all it takes for him to pound the rest of his length into you. You gasp at the action as Draco groans. He gives you little time to adjust to his size as you squeeze your eyes shut, the action a little painful at first. “Take it,” he groans. “If it hurts, good. I want you to take my whole cock into that tight pussy.”

His words just feed your wetness as you moan out. You loved when he talked like this; demanding and dominating. It was hot. “Yes, like that, baby,” you moan out as he pounds in and out of you.

“Oh, you like that? You like it when I’m pounding into you?” he urges you as you are a moaning mess underneath him. Your eyes are screwed shut and head tossed back in pleasure. “You like that, you dirty little slut? You’re such a slut for me, I fucking love it,” he groans into you as he firmly grabs your hips, his hips pushing in and out of your core, his dick covering in your wetness. “Who do you belong to?” he groans.

You moan, “You, Draco. I belong to you. I’m all yours, baby.”

The words combined with your walls clenching around his hard cock send Draco over the moon. The two of you are in states of euphoria as he pounds in and out of you. Draco takes one of your breasts in his hands before ducking his head down, licking, biting, and sucking on your nipple before moving to the next one. You see stars, your toes curling up, walls tightening around Draco. You were so close.

“Dray, I’m gonna fucking come,” you breathe out as he continues to pound into you.

He presses a firm kiss to your lips before dragging his thumb across your clit again, making you cry out in pleasure. “You come when I tell you to,” he growls. He continues to circle your clit, his hard cock rocking in and out. “You wanna come for me, my little slut?” he speaks as you nod. “Yeah?” he keeps fucking you as you cry out his name, your body shaking. You couldn’t hold it any long. “Come all over my dick,” he says and you immediately release all over him. Draco finishes right after you, continuing to pump, riding out both of your highs.

Draco collapses next to you on the bed, the both of you sweaty, panting messes. Your eyes are still screwed shut as you catch your breath. Draco literally made you see stars. Your pussy was sore as ever, but Merlin was it worth it. Draco grabs a tissue from your nightstand and rolls the condom off and into the trash. He looks over at you and smiles before freeing you from the make shift handcuffs.

You rub your wrists that now have marks on them from how tight that belt was around them. You weren’t complaining. It was hot. “Merlin, Draco,” you pant, sitting up.

He chuckles, “I missed that.” He presses a kiss to your lips gently before going into your pajama drawer and pulling out a t-shirt that he had given you a while ago. You smile and happily toss it on as Draco pulls on his boxers. He climbs into the bed next to you and pulls the sheets over you. “I’m so glad that things are somewhat back to normal now,” he confesses, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you wrap your arms around him.

“I am, too, love,” you tell him. “I can’t imagine life without you,” you confess to him.

Draco looks at you, “You’re my world, darling. I love you.”

“I love you, Draco,” you smile back.

---------------------

A month has passed since the night you regained your memory and you and Draco reunited again. Since then, every thing has been smooth sailing. You moved out of your parents and you and Draco moved into a flat in London right outside of the city like you two had planned before the war. Draco wanted to get away from magic, from Hogwarts, from everything. He just needed to take a breather from it all before he came back to it again.

In the meantime, you two have been taking on muggle jobs to support yourselves and at night, Draco studies to become a healer. He had made this decision when you had decided to move in together. Draco wanted to be able to help people in order to make up for all the pain that he caused people in the past. Although the gesture was so thoughtful and kind, you couldn’t help but feel sad when Draco told you. He had been through so much over the course of the past five years. His parents, the Dark Lord, the torture emotionally, mentally, and physically...and yet he still wanted to help people.

You were happier than ever to quite honest. You were with the person you loved, you were able to support yourself, you had a great support system. Things were great. The one thing was that you were still suffering from the brain injury. Your memory was fully restored, but sometimes you would get vivid flashbacks that would disturb your day to day life. It would happen anywhere, at home, at work, at night when you were trying to sleep. Some of the flashbacks were happy, some random, others were frightening. A lot of them were flashbacks of the day of your injury.

You would be fast asleep and that’s when they came, interrupting your sweet dreams.

“Draco!” you scream with every last fiber in your body. You launch yourself into a run down the stairs and towards the bridge. You push people out of your way in a beeline for your love, hoping that he’ll stop for you, but he doesn’t. His parents keep an iron grip on him, pulling him along the bridge. Draco turns around, seeing you run as he tries to writhe out of his mother’s grip. His face is full of concern, but he can’t escape. His father puts his body in front of Draco’s as Draco screams out in pain and fury. “Draco!” you yell.

Your feet carry you as fast as possible as you run toward the bridge, trying to get to him as quickly as possible before it was too late. Draco claws at his father, trying to get past him. As you run you feel your breath becoming short and your lungs burn, but you ignore the sensation and push. You need to get to him. He needed to get to you. You needed to save each other.

But that all came to a screeching halt when you name being yelled out in horror by Draco. “(Y/N), watch out!” someone screams a blood curdling scream as you look up to see a large rock come crashing down.

You woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air, sitting straight up in bed. But Draco would always be by your side, holding you tightly, stroking your hair, gentle kisses on the head, followed with a few “I’m here,” “I’m not going anywhere, darling,” “It’s all over,” “No one is going to hurt you.” Eventually you would fall back asleep in his embrace, but the fear that the nightmare would come back would always haunt you. It was often that you had nights like these, but it was comforting to know that Draco was there for you.

As you stood in the kitchen, putting dishes in the dishwasher and Draco cleaned the table with a rag, you happily hummed. You closed the dishwasher and ran the sink to start cleaning the pots. But before you could start, you ears started to ring and you felt lightheaded. You knew what was coming, even though you didn’t want to. A vivid flashback came to the front of your memory.

You stood in Draco’s dormitory, your lungs burning and face hot from crying. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, the walls were coming in around you. It was a panic attack and a bad one at that. Normally you would seek comfort in Draco, but you wanted nothing to do with him right now. “Don’t come near me,” you hyperventilate, walking to the opposite side of the room. “How can you fucking do something like that to me and then want to comfort me like nothing happened? That’s so...so...manipulative!” you scream at him.

Draco’s once concerned face twisted into anger. “Don’t use that word when it comes to me, (Y/N), you know damn well I am not like that!” he yells back at you. “I told you that nothing happened between us. She initiated things.”

The two of you were in your monthly screaming match. People knew that you and Draco loved each other something fierce, but when you fought, it was ugly. No one wanted to witness it. The topic of this screaming match? Pansy Parkinson. What had happened was you came into the Slytherin common room after a long night of studying for your OWLs in the library when you spotted your love and Pansy sitting on the couch. Well, Draco sat on the couch while Pansy found herself comfortably sitting in Draco’s lap, pushing his blonde hair out of his eyes. You went batshit on Pansy in front of the common room, but save Draco the embarrassment and decided that you twos screaming match would be in private. Draco insisted that nothing happened. He was sitting on the couch when she came over and sat in his lap and started to flirt with him.

“Nothing may have happened, Draco, but the thing is you didn’t even think to stop it. You are always too busy thinking about yourself and what you want! What about me? Do you ever think of me and what I want?” you ask him, tears rolling down your cheeks as he just stands, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He looked unbothered which just made your blood boil. “Do you have anything to say for yourself? An apology?”

Draco sighs, “Sure. I’m sorry that you never believe me. I’m sorry that you don’t think I’m unwavering in my loyalty to you.”

You laugh, “You’re a real prick, Malfoy. You know that? You are just like your family. Cold, rude, and heartless.” You start to make your way to the door, but Draco blocks the door. “Move.”

He doesn’t move. “How come you can’t trust me?” You scoff. “I’m serious. You don’t trust me at all.”

“No, Draco, I do trust you. I trust you too much. That’s the problem,” you confess before pushing him out of your way and leaving his room.

You come back to your senses and see Draco staring at you. “Flashback?” he asks as you nod your head. “You alright? You wanna talk about it?” he rubs your back, and his touch makes you flinch after that memory. “What happened?”

You close your eyes for a moment and shake your head, exhaling. “Um,” you start, “Yeah, um...it was a memory of a fight...of us. We were yelling at each other in your dorm.”

Draco shakes his head, “What were we yelling about? Something silly I imagine.” His attempts to crack a joke weren’t working and he noticed how uncomfortable you. “Do you need me to leave you alone for a moment?”

“No,” you jump. “No, darling, it’s okay, I’m fine. I need to just...talk through it. Think about it before I carry on...” Draco shakes his head. “We were arguing about Pansy Parkinson and how I um...that night when I walked in on her sitting on your lab in the common room and I flipped.” Draco nods his head. He was familiar with the memory. You had given him the silent treatment for two weeks as a consequence until he send you eight dozen red roses to your bed and a heartfelt apology. “We fought a lot...” you trail off.

Draco starts to dry dishes, “All couples fight, love.”

Sighing, you say, “That’s not what I meant. We fought a lot, Dray. I keep getting flashbacks of our fights recently. I haven’t gotten flashbacks of the same one. They’re all different fights. And they’re all bad...What did people think of us?” Draco chuckled. “I’m serious, Draco. Our fights were never about silly things. It’s all been scary and serious. We fought about you and the dark mark, we fought about infidelity, we fought about you not liking my relationship with Ron-”

“Don’t bring Weasle-bee into this,” he stops you which earns him a glare.

“Don’t call him that, Draco. Ron is and will always be my best friend. You bullied them at Hogwarts, even when we were together, you never stopped. Which, now that I think of it, is a shit thing to do. I mean, I told you to stop. Even though I was never fond of your friends, I never was rude or short with them. I was respectful,” you retort. Draco stays silent. “Hello? Earth to Malfoy?”

Draco looks at you. “I’m listening.”

You shake your head, “Okay, but you’re not responding. I don’t appreciate you ignoring me when I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”

“Don’t pick a fight when there doesn’t need to be one, (Y/N). It’s childish,” Draco puts away dishes.

You scoff. “Childish?! Childish is ignoring your girlfriend when she’s trying to have an adult conversation with you about your relationship!”

He walks out of the kitchen and into the living room whilst speaking, “We aren’t having a conversation about our relationship, (Y/N). We are having a conversation about Ronald Weasel-bee which I would rather not talk about with you!”

You follow him into the living room, not ready to end this conversation. You were just getting started. “The relationship that I seem to have with Ron Weasley,” you correct him, “seems to be affecting our relationship. Which I never thought it would or did, but apparently I stand corrected.”

Draco plops on the couch with a huff. “Come on, (Y/N), I have eyes. I’ve seen the way Ron looks at you and how you two act together. Everyone had their bets on you and him being a couple before he and Hermione got together. For Merlin’s sake, Zabini was convinced you were going to break up with me in sixth year so you could get together with Ronald after he and Lavender Brown had broken up!”

This was news to you. So Draco’s friends questioned your loyalty to him? “Ron is like family to me. There is nothing between us and nothing will ever be,” you tell him. You had no intention of telling him about what happened at the Burrow and your bubbling feelings for Ron a month and half ago. “Why you are still carrying on about this is beyond me. Not to mention, all of my friends thought you were going to break up with me in sixth year so you could hook up with Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass! Let’s not forget about the time at that Slytherin common room party where you had too much fire whisky and you had the audacity to ask me if I would be down for a threesome with Pansy and she was standing behind you holding your hand!”

Fury starts to pound through your blood as Draco gives a chaste wave of his hand. “Oh, please, (Y/N), that’s different. I got way to drunk that night and you know that was taken out of context. You know Pansy was always up my ass at Hogwarts no matter how many times I told her I wasn’t interested,” he dismissed, now walking into your shared bedroom.

You angrily groan. “That’s not the point I’m making, Draco. It doesn’t make you a great person just because you stayed loyal to me! That’s the bare fucking minimum.”

“Have I been a shitty boyfriend then, (Y/N)? Huh? Is that what you’re trying to get at? That I’ve been a bad partner?” you can hear the anger rising in his voice. You knew that he would start screaming soon, but you were ready to test the waters.

You sigh, “That’s not what I’m saying, Draco.”

“Then what exactly are you saying?” he says curtly as you furrow your brows and look at him in shock. He rubs his face. “I’m going to take a shower. I just need time by myself to think. Can you do that? Can you leave me alone for more than ten minutes?”

Before you can answer, he disappears into the bathroom with a slam of the door. Draco has never behaved like this before. He usually liked to talk, rather scream, things out before storming away. Storming away was more your thing. Now this was a role reversal.

You hear the shower start and you sigh. You sit at your vanity and braid your hair for bed and change into a long t-shirt and sleep shorts. Hopefully, you and Draco could talk before going to bed.

The shower was still running ten minutes later after it first turned on. You sighed and climbed into your shared bed and sat a thought about what to say when he came out of the bathroom. Should you apologize? No, he was overreacting. Should you offer to talk it out? How should you approach him and his hot temper?

Before you can think further, the bathroom door opens to reveal a freshly showered Draco in his boxers. He starts out of the bathroom and heads for the door. “Where are you going?” you ask him.

“I’m sleeping on the couch,” he speaks.

“Please don’t,” you sigh. “Stay with me. I don’t care if we’re fighting, I still want you next to me.”

Draco stops for a moment and with a sigh, comes back to the bed. You softly smile, but he doesn’t reciprocate one back. He climbs into the bed and even though you didn’t expect a cuddle from him, you wanted one so badly just to know that this fight wouldn’t last forever. But he just turned his back to you and turned off his light, signaling he was done for the night.

With a huff, you turn off your light and lay back on your pillow. You stare at the ceiling, mind rushing with a million thoughts, but you don’t pay any mind to any of them. You are too focused on you and Draco both going to bed angry. In your mind, you knew that going to bed angry was never good and you knew that you both should go to bed somewhat content in order to approach tomorrow with new clarity.

An idea pops into your mind as you slowly sit up and grab Draco’s arm gently and pull him towards you so now he’s on his back. “What, (Y/N),” he states more than asks.

You lean down and kiss him deeply, tongue sliding into his mouth. He hesitantly kisses you back as you straddle his lap. He sits up to kiss you deeper as you tangle your fingers in his hair and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close. Even though you two were pissed at each other, that didn’t mean you were physically repulsed by the other.

Slowly, you start to rub yourself against his lap as he groans. You smirk into the kiss and continue to rub against him as you feel his hardening length in his boxers. Draco lets out another strained groan as you start to kiss his neck as he let out a sigh as you leave wet kisses down his neck.

As you go to pull off your shirt, Draco stops you. “No, no, no,” Draco says. “I don’t think we should have sex tonight. I...Yeah, I just need time to think for the night.”

A little embarrassed you climb off of your boyfriend’s lap and back onto your side of the bed. Draco remains sitting up and rubs his face before turning his back to you again and attempting to fall asleep.

Was he really that upset? Or was he upset with himself? What was going on? Did he not find you attractive anymore?

Rather than entertain these thoughts, you decided it was best to just force yourself to sleep. That night you didn’t have any nightmares, or dreams. You just felt lonely.

------------

Morning came quickly and you turned to Draco’s side of the bed just to find it empty. Your thoughts were confirmed when you hear the coffee machine brewing in the kitchen and the clattering of the dishwasher being unstacked.

You sit up and rub your eyes. How should you start this conversation with Draco? You can’t just pretend it didn’t happen because it most definitely did. He some accusations about you and Ron and not to mention avoided the whole conversation about him and Pansy.

Climbing out of your bed, you leave the bedroom and head into the kitchen. “Good morning,” you speak, looking at Draco who wore his boxers and what looked like an old Slytherin jumper.

He looks at you and gives a quick, “Morning.” He continues to unstack the dishwasher as you stand in front of him. “Coffee on the counter for you,” he gestures to the mug full of coffee and a splash of cream like you liked it.

You mumble a thanks and sip on the coffee your boyfriend made you. He continues to tidy up as you stand and sip; the both of you still silent. Neither of you knew how to start this conversation.

After about an awkward five minutes in silence, Draco decides to speak first. “We should talk about last night,” he starts and you give a knowing smile and nod as he offers a soft smile. “To be honest, I think we should just move on from it. The past is in the past and we changed. We’re back and we’re better than we were before. I love you, I’m happy with you, and no one can change that.” He smiles at you as you give him a soft smile. Draco walks to you and places a gentle kiss on your lips. “Alright?”

You stand there thinking about what he said. However, in that little speech, you didn’t agree. You shouldn’t just move on, you need to work through what happened, not to mention how he essentially gaslit you at one point. Not to mention, there was no apology with how short he was with you. “Um,” you start. “I don’t think we should just move on, darling. I agree I want to get over it just as badly as you, but we should at least talk about what was said.”

Draco rolls his eyes, “But can’t we just agree what we both said was stupid and unnecessary? We don’t need to dwell on the past.”

You gently untangle yourself from Draco’s grip. “I don’t think any of what I said or you said was stupid. I think it’s important we explain to each other why we said what we said. In case you forgot, I’m still remembering bits and pieces from the past, so talking about it helps me.”

And that’s when Draco snaps. “Well in case you forgot, the past has been nothing, but traumatic for me so I’d rather not keep remembering it and move on with my life. Merlin, and you think I’m self-absorbed?”

His words send a shock wave through you. “That was uncalled for,” you laugh. Draco just groans and leaves the kitchen. “Draco, you know that I’m so sorry for everything that your parents forced you into over the past couple of years. But we can’t pretend like your past or my past didn’t happen. We’ve grown up. We can move on like adults. We can’t just pretend like all of those horrible things didn’t happen,” you try to reason with him. “The past shapes us.”

Draco shakes his head, “It’s easier said than done, (Y/N)! About our past, I never cheated on you and I never meant to hurt you when I did. But I would rather focus on our relationship now than what it used to be.”

“We can’t move on if we don’t learn from our mistakes of what we used to be!” you exclaim. “That’s why we need to talk about it!”

Now, he’s getting frustrated and it’s evident in how his face contorts. “I’m not having this conversation right now, (Y/N).”

“Oh, so you’re gonna pretend this conversation isn’t happening, huh? What else? We’re gonna pretend like that night with you and Pansy didn’t happen? We’re gonna pretend like you didn’t make my best friends’ lives miserable at Hogwarts? We’re gonna pretend like I didn’t ask you to stop after years of begging you?” you knew you were pushing his buttons. What you were doing was wrong, but you needed him to talk to you about this.

Draco is furious now. He looks at you angrily and says, “Oh okay! We’re gonna pretend like Weasley didn’t want to fuck you all those years at Hogwarts? We’re gonna pretend he doesn’t hate me because I’m in love with you? We’re gonna pretend like I didn’t protect you from everything I could?” he yells at you.

You are as pissed as Draco now. “What is your obsession with Ron and I’s friendship?” you pull at your hair.

“The guy is a bloody fucking prick! He never liked me and never wanted you to date me! Admit it! He’s warned you about me before and told you all these awful things about me? Like how I can’t be trusted?” Draco asks. You heart sinks a little, knowing that Ron did and has done that in the past. But you knew it was because Ron was scared of you getting hurt, not about him being in love with you. Ron was in love with Hermione and everyone knew that.

“That’s because Ron has always cared about me! Ever since we came to Hogwarts, he cared about me! You only started caring about me when I suddenly became ‘hot’ to you. You only started caring about me when it was convenient for you!” you accused him.

That’s what stung Draco the most. The accusation that he never cared about you and he only cared about your looks. Draco had always cared about you even when you weren’t dating. Before he even said anything romantic to you, Draco always watched you from across the room. Watching you smile, crinkling your nose, throwing your head back in laughter. He cared about you when you looked stressed in the library, tugging at the roots of your hair. He cared about you when he saw you run down the hall, wiping tears from your eyes as Hermione followed you close behind. Draco cared about you. Always. Draco loved you even when he didn’t know it.

But instead of telling you that, he let his temper get the best of him. “Then how about you go fuck Ron?” he screams. “Since he cares so much about him, go song him, why don’t you?”

And that’s when you did it. You let go of every fear you had about Draco finding out what happened between you and Ron. You stopped thinking and just said it. “Guess what? I already did!”

That’s when Draco’s face dropped. Disbelief crossed his face and his heart sank to his ass. HIs face turned sheet white like he had seen a ghost. It felt like he just got slapped across the face. “What?”

“I kissed Ron! The night I got back from the hospital and spent it at the Burrow? I kissed Ron!” It was like you were vomiting the words, you couldn’t stop no matter that your mind was screaming to stop it. “Right after I got your letter, I kissed him!”

That’s what sent Draco over the edge. How could you? “You kissed him...while I was trying to get you to remember our relationship?” he asks in disbelief.

The gravity of the situation slaps you in the face as your eyes widen. What have you done? “Draco, I-”

“I don’t know if I can hear anything else,” he shakes his head.

“No! Draco please listen,” you grab his hands as he looks at you pained. You just broke this boy in front of you. “I was so confused after the accident and I was getting my feelings for you confused with the feelings I had for Ron...I can’t explain it, but I know that I love you. It’s not Ron. It never has been and it never will be! I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. Please Draco you have to know that I love you and you’re the only one for me,” you start to get choked up as you see Draco start to cry in front of you. “It’s always been you, Dray.”

You hug Draco tight as you both cry in the others arms. You both had made mistakes in the past with him and Pansy, you and Ron, the lying, the fighting, everything. You were both at fault.

The two of you stood there in the middle of your living room, crying in each others arms about how fucked this whole thing was. Your relationship had gone through the wringer. You went through Umbridge, when he got his dark mark, the war, and an amnesia spell. Needless to say, you two’s love for each other has been put to the test multiple times. You were bound to crack at one point. And this was the breaking point.

You pull away and look at each other. You both know what needs to happen, but neither of you want to say it. Draco takes a shaky breath in. “I don’t want you to leave, but I know you need to. We need to,” he speaks.

You nod and wipe your eyes. “I know. We owe it to ourselves,” you rub his cheek. “I love you, Draco. Always and forever.”

“I love you, (Y/N). Always and forever. And that’s a promise. You know I don’t break those,” he tells you and that’s when you heart shatters.

But it had to be done.

-----------------

You slowly walked up the rock path, bags in your hands as you sigh. You didn’t think you would be back at this place at this time, but here you were. You gently knock on the door and the door flings open to reveal George Weasley. “(Y/N)? I didn’t know you were coming over,” he smiles at you, but he notices your red eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Darling, what’s wrong?” he grabs your shoulders. “Come here,” he pulls you inside and shuts the door. “Look whose here,” George says as you walk in and he takes your bags.

On the couch, there sits Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. It was like they were expecting you. The sight of your close friends makes your heart swell and the tears start to brim your eyes. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” Hermione rushes to you and embraces you in the tightest hug. “What happened?”

Ron grabs your hands and gives them a squeeze. “Are you alright? Do you need anything? Mum!” Ron calls, frantically as Ginny runs to find Molly Weasley. She would know what to do.

“I’m fine everyone. Please. I’m fine,” you offer them a sad smile. “Um, Draco and I ended things. We realized neither of us are okay to be in a relationship right now,” you shrug as Hermione squeezes your hand. She could understand where you are coming from. “I decided to leave and let him stay in the flat. I just needed to get out and be with other people...You can say it, Ron. You told me so.”

Ron lets out a weak laugh, “I’m not gonna say that, (Y/N). I’m proud of you two though for leaving the relationship before it got ugly for the both of you.” You offer him a weak smile.

You felt awkward standing there, luggage in the doorway, tear stained cheeks at the Burrow rather than going to your own home. You just knew you needed the comfort of your friends before going back to living with your parents after moving out.

Before you knew it, Molly Weasley was in front of you. “Oh, poor girl. Come with me. Let me make you some tea. Ron, grab (Y/N) a blanket. Ginny, dear, go get the sandwiches from the fridge. We’ll get some good food in you, yeah?” she wraps an arm around you, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead.

In this moment, you felt your anxiety melt away and the sensation of comfort and warmth flooded your chest. The Weasleys always knew how to cheer you up. You knew just a few hours with the Weasleys would help soothe you and your broken heart.

As you sit at the table with Ron and Hermione, you sip on a hot tea Molly made you and ham and cheese sandwiches. The three of you all made light chatter about what they’ve been up to during the past month. Ron and Hermione talk about how much more time they’ve been spending together and how they were thinking about moving into their own place. As they cuddled close in the chair, your heart warmed seeing your two best friends find love with each other. They both deserved every happiness in the world. But in all honesty, their love made you feel a sad and just reminded you of how painful this breakup was.

Hermione notices your change in expression and she gives you a sad smile. “(Y/N),” she looks at you and then at Rod who takes a breath in. “Ron told me about...the night you spent here before you got back with Draco. About the kiss.” Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to speak. “There’s no need to explain yourself. Ron told me everything and I although it hurt at first, I understand your position. I’m not mad at you. I just want you to know that I’m not worried or angry.”

“’Mione,” you speak. “I’m still so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

She shakes her head. “Thank you and I understand. But I think it’s best for all of us to just move on.”

You nod and sip your tea as an awkward air lingers. Hermione breaks the silence again and says, “Besides that, just know that we are here for you, always. You’re our best friend. We’ll be here every step of the way.”

“Thank you,” you offer them both a smile.

“There’s a muggle saying,” Hermione speaks. “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”

You giver her a small smile. “Thanks, ‘Mione.”

And she was right. Maybe this wasn’t perfect timing with Draco. Maybe you two weren’t ready to start a relationship again. Maybe you needed more time. Or maybe you two weren’t meant to be. But whatever happened you knew you had you friends and family to help you along the way.

------------

Six months had passed since the breakup and you had to admit that you were feeling so much better. You were living at home again with your parents, but working as an Auror now, making your own money and doing what you love alongside Ron. You had accepted your relationship with Draco and decided it was best to give him space. Even though the first few months were rough without him, you made it through better than ever.

So there you sat in St. Mungo’s, waiting for a Healer after hurting yourself on the job. It was a funny feeling being in the same hospital as you were seven and a half months ago after your head injury. You sat in the room, as the Healer’s assistant tells you, “The Healer should be in with you soon.”

You patiently wait around for the Healer, swinging your legs on the hospital chair until the door swings open. “Hello there, my name is Healer Malfoy, what seems to be the,” his eyes land on you, “problem.”

In front of you stood Draco, dressed neatly in black trousers, a button down, and tie with lime green robes on, the Healer crest neatly sewn on his chest. His hair was combed back and he had a little scruff on his face. He looked handsome. Grown up. “Draco,” you smile.

“Hi, (Y/N),” he smiles back brightly. “Um, lovely to see you again. It’s been a long time.” You nod, “Yeah, I know. I-I didn’t know you became a healer.”

He smiles wide, “Yeah. I started working here about five months ago. It’s been great so far. I really love the job.” You smile wide, knowing that Draco did it. He had wanted to be a Healer for so long and now he was finally doing it. You were so proud of him. The two of you just look at each other for a few moments, taking in the other, realizing how long it has been and how much you missed the other. “Um, anyway, what can I help you with?”

“Yeah, um, I hurt my ankle running. I think I just twisted it,” you pull up your jeans to show him.

Draco grabs a stool and inspects, pressing on your ankle to see if there was any excess pain, swelling, or bruising. Although it was quite quick, you smiled watching him do his job. You could tell he loved his job more than anything.

“Here’s some pain potion. I’ll also tell the assistant to bring you out some more to help with the swelling and bruising,” Draco tells you as you thank him. “Well, it was really nice to see you, (Y/N). It’s...being a while...”

You sigh, “It was nice to see you too, Dray...”

The two of you look at each other, longingly gazing at the other, so badly wanted to embrace the other. “I miss you,” Draco confesses.

“I miss you,” you repeat back. Draco gives you a sad smile. The two of you look at each other more, not saying anything else. What was there to say? You clear your throat, “I should go.”

Draco stops you, “Wait, (Y/N).” You turn around and see Draco nervously put his hands in his pockets. “I, um...would you...would you like to get dinner with me...sometime?” You bit down on your lip to conceal your smile. “If not, that’s fine, I understand. I just, um, thought I’d try...you look great.”

You lightly laugh and stop him, “I’d like to get dinner with you, Draco.”

“Great,” he beams. “Brilliant. I’ll be in touch then,” he blushes.

-------

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