#weird happy

[aizawas-quirk]

ayo bubble butt, hows it hangin?

Wasn't bubble butt a sort of weird compliment?? Anyway, thank you, I'm not sure how I should receive this kind of compliment but its a compliment after all. Anyway, what's up?

[rubberducks-rubberboots]

To My Future Daughter

Hello, little one, 

I hope you are doing well somewhere out in the cosmos. I wonder how long it will be until I get to meet you. I wonder who your mother is and who your father is. I wonder if, when you get older, you will think your name is pretentious. Persephone. 

I picked it just for you. I thought I wanted it for me, but it doesn't quite fit and maybe it will for you. 

I wonder what your favorite food will be. Will you do what I did and think that the cooking you had growing up was the best food only to find out that your chef wasn't as grand and magical and perfect as you thought. I wonder if you will judge me for leaving culinary school. 

I wonder if you, like me, will want to quit everything before you get there. 

I wonder if my mind is more nature and nurture. If it is nurture, I wonder if I can help you not to become like me. 

I wonder what will happen to your skin in the sun. I wonder if you will have freckles. I wonder if I will have to work so hard to support us that when I get home you'll jump into my arms.

I wonder if you will call me mom. 

I wonder if you will find religion and, if so, which one. 

I wonder if I will have to find a way to drop you off at your place of worship monthly or weekly or daily. 

I wonder how fast you will learn to read.

I wonder if you will ever think that, because I adopted you, you are not loved. 

I wonder if you will blame your birth parents or yourself or no one. 

I wonder if you will ask me where your birth parents are.

I wonder if I will even know. 

I wonder if you will be a girl as I first see you or a boy or somewhere in between. 

I wonder if you will love a girl, a boy, or someone in between. Maybe you will love no one. I will not be angry. I will want to tell you that it's okay and that you don't have to.

I wonder if we'll have to have ramen for dinner. I wonder if our drinking water will be clean and safe. I wonder where we will live and where you will play and how early you will learn to swim.

I wonder if you know that even now I am living my days for you. Even now I am fighting for you. Even now I am getting better so I can provide and protect and cherish you.

Even now I am thinking how hard it would be to provide for you, living paycheck to paycheck, but knowing how much I want you even though it would be so much harder to have you now. 

I wonder if I will be your favorite. I wonder if you will beg me to wear a wig or dye my hair one day because the other parents of the other kids don't want you hanging out with their children. 

I wonder what your first job will be. 

I wonder if you will be beautiful and promptly remind myself that you will be. Even if you are scarred or marred or ugly, you will be beautiful to me and I know that. 

I wonder if I will get frustrated by feeding you from bottles.

I wonder how old you will be when I meet you. I wonder how warm you will feel in my arms as I cradle you. 

I wonder how much money I will give you for each tooth. I wonder if you will like my black market tooth exchange or if you'll be more frustrated that I won't lie to you about the tooth fairy. 

I wonder what I will do when you misbehave. 

I wonder how old you will be the first time you tell me you hate me. 

I wonder how old you will be when you tell me you take it back. 

I wonder if you will like vegetables. 

I wonder how many trips to the doctor you will beg me to not make you go to.

I wonder if you will need glasses. 

I wonder if you will lay against my chest when we watch movie and giggle because you can hear my heart beat. 

I know I will smile because I can feel yours too. 

I love you already.

Love,

Me

[ttittysweat-blog]

petra collins makes me happy in a weird way

[bepeaced]

You wanna know the really weird thing about happy... truly happy? It may be fleeting but when it is present NOTHING can take it away!

-My Thoughts as Typed