hi sibyl! a friend of mine sent me your post earlier and if you don’t mind — i kind of want to pick your brain about one particular thing bc it’s a perspective that i hadn’t considered.
i swear i do Not mean this from a buck woobie pov, but personally i didn’t read that last scene as buck understanding how much he matters to eddie, i read it as him understanding that their relationship (understandably) isn’t the priority right now, and realizing that he wants to do everything he can to help him get back to chris even if it means accepting that eddie needs to leave and that things will change between them from now on. sort of an ‘i love you, so i’m letting you go’ kind of thing a la s7 eddie, except he doesn’t think eddie is coming back and he feels like he needs to make peace with that. so i’m curious — what made you interpret buck’s sense of security differently?
tbh if this was seasons 5-6 i think i definitely would’ve seen it same way as you, bc i was under the impression that the will scene really did make buck realize how important he is to the diazes, but the writing for them has been a little different since tim came back and my opinion has changed a bit.
(if i read your post wrong, please let me know! i’m not discoursing at all here — i’m just interested in your perspective bc i enjoy reading your takes!)
— rae wellcollapse :)
i think I largely agree that the scene is mostly about Buck setting aside his abandonment issues and realizing what really matters to him is Eddie & Chris's happiness (even if that means they are Away from him).
I guess my perspective is that Buck, when he's actually thinking rationally, doesn't need to realize or understand that he matters to Eddie at this point. While I'm sure it would be welcome, he doesn't need Eddie's reassurance. They've been BEST friends for seven years and Eddie has told/shown him through words and actions and just being there for Buck numerous times. I guess I just struggle with the idea that after all this time Buck doesn't know or understand that he's important to Eddie when we haven't REALLY seen evidence of that--we've only seen evidence of his existing abandonment issues getting triggered and then Buck ultimately getting over that. We've also seen evidence that Buck considers Eddie a safe place (s6 and s8a), considers himself not a guest in his house (s3 and s8a again), knows that he's the FIRST PERSON Eddie calls in times of crisis (s5 and s7), knows that he's the person Eddie would want to raise Chris in the event of his death, knows that Eddie opens up to him and relies on him and goes along with his schemes and consistently reassures him and generally treats him like someone that matters to him very much.
I don't think that, at this point, Buck has a fundamental insecurity about their relationship as it stands. And while I guess this is just me reading into the situation a little, I feel like when he hears Eddie say "everything that matters is in Texas" while his triggered self takes that to mean I don't matter to him, the rational Buck already knows that Eddie doesn't really mean it given the seven years of their relationship that disproves it. And what was really impressive to me from a character growth standpoint was to see Buck recognize that he was simply feeling triggered and did not ACTUALLY believe that he doesn't matter to Eddie.
That said!!! I DO think that it's a separate question of whether Buck knows/believes that he means as much to Eddie as Eddie means him. And that's really the question that remains in part because Buck still needs to grapple with what Eddie means to him! So it's not a question that can even be asked until Buck actually understands the true depth of his feelings for Eddie (and, you know, if we're right, that those feelings are fundamentally NOT platonic). And at that point, yeah, I do think it's possible that he comes to the conclusion that no, he DOESN'T mean as much to Eddie as Eddie means to him. Which is the exact tension that needs to be laid on their relationship for the payoff of Eddie finally telling him that OF COURSE Buck means as much to him as Eddie means to Buck. and then they kiss or whatever!!!
And, you know, possibly I am wrong and Buck DOES still need that reassurance from Eddie...which I sense he will get in their actual goodbye scene. I hope that makes sense and genuinely thank you for the ask!!!! You know I deeply value your perspective and opinions 🫡
