I've been cooking this post up in my brain for days now. Ever since I came across this picture and the accompanying words I wrote. "January 20th, 2009 - Photo evidence that a midlife crisis can happen in your 20's." . . I was in such a weird place. I had just ended my relationship of a few years with someone I don't think ever actually liked me and unfortunately I also lived with. I had been with someone who always wanted me to be someone other than who I was. I consistently felt never pretty enough, never thin enough, never enough for the manic pixie dream girl he wanted. I was too weird. Too wild. Too fat. . . . I was trying to figure out who I was. I went into a store and started trying on clothes that were light and bright and colorful. I felt uncomfortable and ashamed of myself. I felt as if I didn't deserve to wear bright clothes. I felt as if I didn't deserve to be seen. It started a 5 years span where I would dress in too big tshirts and shorts that were just jeans never cut higher than my knees. Never colors. Never anything tight. Can. Not. Be. Seen. . . . I've spent the last almost 10 years trying to figure out who I am again. It's taken me this long to relearn that I don't have to dress to avoid being seen. I don't have to dress to hide. I am worthy of taking up space and existing. I don't have to have a certain body or dress modestly. . . . It took me 34 years to realize I could dress however I want. I learned to dress my body for what makes me feel powerful and strong and expresses exactly who I am at that very moment. I would never say that to be your best YOU one would need to dress wild, bright, in tight clothes, showing skin. I would say that when you think about what you want to wear and how you want to express yourself please please please don't let someone else's ideas of what's (and these are CRINGE worthy words) "appropriate," "tasteful," "age appropriate," "size appropriate," or "gender appropriate" EVER stop you from exploring who you are. . We only get one shot at this, be your best you. Be weird as fuck. Be silly. Be fierce. Protect other people and be a force of sheer will and sequins and velvet and floral patterns. #WerewolfStyle (at Bon Air)
