its 5 am and im thinking abt more silvie angst :D as usual
her finding out the truth behind her life-long chronic illness via the narzissenkreuz quest line, that she will not be able to outlive abyss corruption thats in her dna thats been killing her from the inside for years (with the symptoms worsening due to fontainians becoming 'real' humans with blood)
she's known her whole life that this would kill her some how, even with expensive/advanced medication her suffering is only prolonged. She has the realization that up until recently, that the reason why she neglected to take care of herself was because subconsciously...... she didn't care if she died because it would be over sooner and the pain would finally be gone. she was raised to be a perfect and refined member of fontainian high society and was forced to shove her flaws and pain and suffering away in order to keep up appearances- even if it meant killing herself slowly
and its so sad because. now she has so many reasons to live and is ready to experience prolonged joy and happiness. But of course, right after finding meaning in her life, the cause and effect of her illness if finally known. It has a name, its tangible and so very real now. and man she's terrified.
especially in the context of wetrabbit, she already feels some guilt knowing that as a mortal she has a limited lifespan and that neuvillette will surely outlive her. and now things are WORSE because she's even more sick than she thought, and cutting off chunks of her precious mortal lifespan and will leave neuvillette alone sooner rather than later :(((