#thewasteland

[marejadilla]

Will St. John, "Spring" (Laura Hanson Sims, portrait), "Portraiture 2020" exhibition.

Will St. John was born in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in 1983. 

[lorisystem]

“What was your first solid memory of an alter fronting” for the asks cause we’re still trying to figure ours out and I’m curious about other’s experience Thanks 💕💕

Hi! We have a lot of early childhood experiences that we now know was an alter fronting, from hindsight, but at that time we didnt know any better, so my first “solid” experience with an alter fronting was a bit more recent, it was around two years ago i think (really bad at tracking time)- i view it as a “solid” experience cause for the whole time i had no control while still being co-con to a degree + i was aware of DID/OSDD at that time, i had begun questioning not too long before, so that made me pay extra close attention to that occurrence. Basically i was fronting and got triggered by something (i think an argument with a loved one? but honestly, i dont remember anything in detail about what triggered it, but i was on the computer talking to loved ones) and everything just became “too much to handle” and so i switched with this fragment alter which we call “Joy”, Joy continued interacting with my loved ones while i was kind of in a headspace void having my breakdown, she behaved entirely different than me and even realized that she was an alter, and introduced herself as such to the loved ones she was talking to. The whole time i could see her talking and even heard her thinking and making plans about what she wanted to do which made me angry/frustrated because she is not a very healthy alter and what she wanted to do would be hurtful to the system. I dont remember all that she did and said very extensively though, i was watching but as i was in a lot of pain i didnt give it my full attention

So as this went on i calmed down and as soon as i was calm again i was able to regain full control of the body (Joy was super disappointed at that). This occurrence also allowed us to discover that Joy was an alter, and we discovered that she actually fronted a lot before, we just didn’t know that was a dissociative behavior until now.  Thanks for asking!!

- Volia (host)

Initially, I wanted to answer these myself, but for this question, we thought it was better for Volia to answer it. Personally, my earliest memories of fronting are very old, as I am one of the oldest alters in the system (in terms of the lenght of my existence, and not necessarily actual age), so trying to remember the first time I fronted would be like trying to remember the first we ate or walked. 

One time I remember in particular, was when the body was quite young. The host was fronting, and they got upset about something and had no idea how to deal with this difficult situation arising. So I took over and shut them down, and filtered what they said to the person they were talking to, in a way that I thought would protect them. I did this very often at the time, as my role was mainly that of a protector, and, like the other times, they weren’t aware that I was doing this, and just felt frozen because of their overwhelming feelings. 

This one time stands out to me, because afterwards, the host felt very confused at the way they had acted and reacted at that time, and blamed themselves, as they felt responsible for the negative outcome that they attributed to this reaction. They spent a lot of time thinking of that time and about “their” actions, to the extent that at some point, they even thought they had imagined the entire situation, and it hadn’t really happened. Reality obviously destroyed this belief. 

I now realize that my actions then were maybe a little too extreme, but I sincerely thought I was acting in the best interest of the system. I still think I did the best I could at the time.

- Déborah (protector and caretaker)

[brinesystem]

How many protectors do you have?

And what are some nice things you do for each other?

For the asks 💕

oh, umm

i guess we have a few? um

there’s monster, and fae, and atari... lucifer i guess? grey... i guess maybe you could count the daves too? i don’t really know for sure if there are others, but um, we have at least seven!

um, as for nice things...

i know that everyone gets gifts and stuff! like, lucifer saved cake for honey, and dave bought um, base a piece of art... it’s not big stuff cause we’re not rich or anything, but... i think this system does what we can!

[doubledteabaglife]

Reading through “The Waste Land” by T.S. Eliot for Modernist Literature term paper

[soliloquyjewelry]

“April is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain.” 🔮🍂

[lonelypenguin12]

"But sometimes a kiss is not a kiss is not a kiss. Sometimes it's poetry."

- Tell me three things, Julie Buxbaum

[gracebriarwoodwrites]

If I can make a T. S. Eliot reference, I will. Blame my mom and my mentor ♡ #poem #poetry #spilledink #amwriting #April #sage #leaves #wilted #withered #bruised #plant #Eliot #tseliot #thewasteland #thecruelestmonth #poetrylives #poetryisnotdead #allusion #calligraphy #green #purple #violet #purpleink #calligraphypoetry #calligraphypoem #handwritten #handwrittenpoetry #handwrittenpoem #poetrycommunity #poetscommunity #instapoetry #sad https://www.instagram.com/p/BviQN2HFUrq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=t5p89hvtg8i

[postapocalyptic-world]

Stunning @msdiscobunny at the swimsuit competition . #swimsuit #competition #postapocalyptic #postapocalypticgirl #wasteland #wastelandweekend2017 #thewasteland #tribal #youcankissit #wastelandbabe #tattoos #tattooedgirls #girlswithtattoos #workit #notamodel #postapocalypticgirl #postapocolyptic #wetrabbit #rabbit #rabbitsdoitbest