But guys, imagine a Kingsman ‘Yuri on Ice’ AU
With Eggsy as the young, wannabe competitive figure skater, who gets ditched by his coach after bombing out of the Grand Prix Finals (he’d just received a phone call from a family friend telling him Dean had put his Mum in the hospital). Defeated, he returns back home to his local rink in London, where his BFF Roxy coaxes him into performing a routine they used to skate together back during their early years of training, Harry Hart’s famous gold-medal-winning finale, ‘The Kingsman’. Harry Hart himself stumbles across the Youtube video when it goes viral, and is so utterly enamoured by the lad’s expressive skating style that he comes out of his ten-year retirement to offer his services as Eggsy’s coach. Naturally, they fall in love with each other along the way. Eggsy’s skating ‘rival’ is Charlie, who had once hoped to be Harry’s pupil before the death of his beloved Mr Pickle had driven him into retirement. Harry acknowledges his promise to Charlie from long ago, and agrees to train him on a part-time basis alongside Eggsy - the two form a begrudging friendship, pretending to hate each other in public but quietly cheering each other on from the sidelines, until a non-accidental injury takes Charlie out before the regional championships. The media and the skating world cry foul play, and Eggsy is the top suspect, although Charlie (much to Eggsy’s surprise) vehemently denies his involvement. I’m thinking it would somehow tie in to Harry’s old skating rival, Richmond Valentine, an American coach who’s training a British figure skater (Gazelle) in the hopes of beating Harry to first place (in this universe, male and female skaters would compete with each other in the same tournaments). He’s ruthless in his efforts to ensure victory, and has been quietly sabotaging the other promising competitors for months. I’m betting Roxy, Eggsy and Charlie would band together to investigate things, uncover the truth, and successfully get Valentine banned from the world of figure-skating. I’m not sure how I’d want it to end (or *if* I’d want it to end), but I think ultimately the gold would go to Roxy and Eggsy would be perfectly content with his silver medal, because the gold in the ring on his finger is more than enough for him. I also think that, at some point, there would be a dramatic skate-off between Merlin (Roxy’s coach) and Harry, and the three younger skaters would be gawking from the sidelines in absolute glee. It would soon become the most-watched skating video on Youtube.
(Oh shit. I’m gonna have to write this one now.)
